How To Actually Do What You Say You Want To Do

Actually Do What You Say You Want To Do

Have you ever said you want to do something but then you didn’t actually do it?

How many good habits have you started that never stuck? How many bad habits have you wanted to stop but failed? How many online courses or in person classes have you started and not completed? How many gym memberships have you signed up for but then never went?

There’s hope. There’s a reason this is happening and that means there’s a solution. You CAN actually do what you say you want to do.

Three years ago I shared a story of how I wrestled with this wanting to but not actually doing thing. Recently I found myself wrestling again, but to do something different than last time. Still the reason is the same so the how to will work again for me and it’ll work for you too.

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It’s a story both of failure and success. A story of how I moved from one to another and you can too.

I was one of those people that others love to hate – until I wasn’t. You know the kind.

  • The kind that have what you wish you had.
  • The person who always seems to get a promotion when you are stuck in the same place.
  • The mom who gives birth in what feels like five seconds when you go through hours of painful labor.
  • The classmate that always aces the test without studying while you barely eek out a passing grade.
  • The guy who can eat his weight in cheeseburgers never gaining a pound while you eat lettuce and gain water weight.

I’m sure you understand now. Guy or girl, it doesn’t matter. It’s the feeling of inequity. Life does not dish out fairness. But

We have the ability to choose how to respond

And me. I was one of those people. I used to smoke cigarettes and could quit whenever I felt like it. It pissed people off. They were jealous. I’d smoke a half a pack a day. But then decide another day, I just didn’t want to anymore and would stop.

But therein lies the secret and I’ll bet you missed it. I did. Until it was missing. What was missing?

My want to do

I had quit smoking before I got married. Something my husband was very happy about. He knew I had smoked before but was very glad I was not a smoker when we got together. However, after I had my first child I started smoking again.

My husband watched the baby one night for me to go to a Bible study. When I got home, I told him I had to tell him something.

Read How To Break A Bad Habit Not Serving You Anymore

It sounded ominous. I saw the fear in his eyes. I told him I had stopped on the way to the study to buy a pack of cigarettes. Instead of being angry he was relieved it wasn’t something more earth shattering like me being unfaithful. No, I had just started smoking again.

No reason why. I just nonchalantly started again like I had before. I smoked for a while until I felt like I should quit. Everyone knows it’s not good for you. So I thought I’d quit just like I had all those other times.

But this time it was hard.

  • I was confused.
  • I didn’t understand.
  • How come it was hard?
  • I had quit lots of times before.

I kept trying to quit over and over. No success, only failure. I beat myself up inside. I understood the jealousy others had had of me. I struggled. Over and over. Until that night. I got an epiphany. An aha moment. We were at a friend’s house hanging out playing cards and I was in the cycle of not smoking in my attempt to quit.

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Danielle Bernock

Danielle Bernock is an international, best-selling, and award-winning author, coach, and speaker who helps people embrace their values, heal their souls and reclaim their lives through the power of the love of God. Her books include: Emerging With Wings, A Bird Named Payn, Love’s Manifesto, and Because of You Matter. Be encouraged by her Victorious Souls Podcast. Danielle enjoys life with her husband Michael, in Michigan, near their adult children and grandchildren.View Author posts