How to Connect Deeply With Almost Anyone In 10 Seconds Flat

Written By:

How to Connect Deeply With Almost Anyone In 10 Seconds Flat 2

It is possible to connect deeply with almost anyone at any time, and hereโ€™s a simple way that works like magic.

How does one go from being totally shut-down most of their adult life to living fully heart open and connected?

For me, it requires doing one simple daily exercise to keep me in my heart. And, as a side benefit, it also opens the hearts of others โ€“all in 10 seconds or less. This is so simple you might be tempted to think it couldnโ€™t possibly be that easy. Trust me on this one, if it works for me (a real hard case) it will for you too.

I can only connect deeply

โ€œCanโ€™t You Be Human Just Once in Your Life!โ€

That was the refrain shouted at me by my wife as she was about to go into labor with our second child at the hospital. Instead of paying attention and comforting my wife, I was arguing with our four-year-old daughter about something not very important. Her rebuke wasnโ€™t just labor pain rage. It was also a reflection of my typical lack of empathy which is not uncommon for people who are shut down and disconnected.

Her anger stung quite deeply because I knew there was more than an element of truth to it. Despite being successful in business and a high-energy extrovert, I always felt something was amiss in my life. I just couldnโ€™t seem to deeply connect with anyone, including my own wife and kids.

I always felt something was amiss in my life. I just couldnโ€™t seem to deeply connect with anyone, including my own wife and kids.

Oh donโ€™t get me wrong, I could hold a conversation with the best of them and make people laugh โ€“all while avoiding any semblance of vulnerability. Even after years of therapy, I was no closer to figuring it out, which just made me feel more frustrated and shut down. That is, until I couldnโ€™t take it anymore.

Related: Conflict Doesnโ€™t Ruin a Relationship, a Lack of Connection Does

A Line in the Sand

One day I said โ€œenough is enoughโ€ and I pulled the trigger on changing my life forever. With the help of someone who could see the real me (despite my attempts to hide it) the source of my disconnect became abundantly clear.

It was simply my fierce unwillingness to show my heart, be completely vulnerable and feel everything, including things that are uncomfortable or even painful. Thanks to life and childhood wounds, I had placed a ton of armor around my heart to protect it from ever being hurt. All it really did was prevent me from feeling *anything* and connecting with anyone.

This insight was perhaps the biggest โ€œAha!โ€ of my life. From that point on I drew a line in the sand and stepped over vowing to always remain heart open and vulnerable. The impact of that choice is difficult to overstate. My face softened, my eyes sparkled with joy and I literally felt giddy feeling truly alive for the first time. People have told me I now look 20 years younger.

Imagine the transformation of Scrooge after his visit with the Spirit of Christmas Future. That was me. This probably explains why I would always burst out sobbing at that point in the book when I read it to my kids every Christmas. My heart ached for that possibility, which only required me to have the courage to allow it to happen.

From that point on I drew a line in the sand and stepped over vowing to always remain heart open and vulnerable.

However, old habits die hard and life continues to throw challenges our way making it easy to put those defenses back up. So I knew I needed a way to keep me in this state of being fully heart open otherwise Iโ€™d risk falling back to my old disconnected and shut-down ways.

You may like to watch this video on how to skip small talks and have meaningful conversations:

The 10 Second Heart Opener

So what I do now, almost on a daily basis, is carry these little glass hearts with me everywhere. They are nothing special, just cheap iridized glass from China. Yet the impact they have when I give them out to people would make you think they were made out of diamond.

Related:ย 48 Deep Conversation Starters To Connect Deeply with Someone

I never know with whom I will share them. I let my intuition/heart guide me which of course means I need to be fairly present to even be aware of that guidance. Iโ€™ve given them to men, women, and children of all ages and mostly to people I have never met before.

It typically starts out with me handing them a glass heart and saying โ€œThis is for you because you have such big, beautiful heart.โ€ And yes, I even say that to the guys I give them to as well. Most people who receive them are deeply touched and appreciative. I remember one older lady in the grocery store checkout line weeping after I gave her one โ€“somehow it soothed her troubled soul.

Related:ย How Showing Compassion And Kindness Is Good For Your Mental Health

Another time I gave one to a guy who I approached in a parking lot because he was riding a Ducatti motorcycle (Iโ€™m into bikes big time). After talking about his bike for a while something just urged me to give him one of the hearts โ€“he was deeply touched. The next day I ran into him again at a coffee shop.

He said, โ€œDo you remember me?โ€

At first, I didnโ€™t but then a smile of recognition came across my face as I said, โ€œYouโ€™re the Ducatti guy!โ€

He said โ€œThatโ€™s right. You know that heart you gave me yesterday? Well, I went to the beach afterwards and met someone and I gave it to her. I think there may be something there.โ€ That was nearly two years ago and they are still together.

crave for deepest connections

This simple act of connecting hearts by giving them away has another, even more important purpose than touching the lives of others.

You see, Iโ€™ve discovered that I canโ€™t give these away without my heart being open. And if Iโ€™m feeling shut down (which I do from time to time) the mere act of giving these little hearts away will immediately open mine.

Related:ย 6 Zodiac Pairs That Have the Deepest Connection of All

Ten seconds is all it takes to connect deeply with anyone, yet the impact it has on you and the ones you give it to can last a lifetime. I have not found a more simple or sure way than this for me to stay fully present, heart open and vulnerable. And if it works every time for someone who was as shut down as I was, imagine what it will do for you.

Are you ready to connect deeply with almost anyone in 10 seconds? Share your thoughts or experiences in comments.

NOTE: in case you are interested, you can buy these hearts in bulk from this Los Angeles, CA distributor which is what I do โ€“I go through a lot of them ?


Written by Michael J. Russer
Originally appeared in The Goodmen Project

How to Connect Deeply With Almost Anyone In 10 Seconds Flat

— Share —

Published On:

Last updated on:

,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

Heart Line Personality Test: What It Reveals About Your Inner Personality

Heart Line Personality Test Results To Know Your True Self

Ever wondered how the lines on your palms can reflect your inner personality? This heart line personality test holds the key to revealing your deepest traits and how you navigate relationships and life. 

Palmistry is the practice of predicting the future by analyzing the lines and patterns on a person’s palm.

In this heart line palm test, we’ll explore the fascinating connections between the shape and alignment of your palm lines and your unique personality.

So, whether you’re a peacemaker, an adventurous spirit, or a thinker, your heart line speaks volumes about you. Take a closer look at your hands, and letโ€™s dive into what your heart line reveals about you, are you ready to discover what lies beneath the surface? Letโ€™s go!

Up Next

The Art of Slow Travel: 4 Benefits Of Wandering Mindfully

Amazing Benefits of Slow Travel Trend: Let's Go!

Instead of rushing to check off a list of must-see attractions, try โ€œslow travelโ€ where you can step out with no rigid plans, only the desire to explore at your own pace. 

Sipping coffee at a quiet cafรฉ, chatting with a local vendor at the market, and meandering through winding streets, the slow travel trend is the art of immersing yourself fully in a place, not just passing through it.

Youโ€™re simply absorbing the moment. Where the journey matters just as much as the destination.

So, What Is Slow Travel?

Wondering what is slow travel? It is a sustainable alternative to mass tourism, focusing on deeper

Up Next

2025’s Horror Lineup Will Leave You Sleeping With the Lights On!

Top Most Anticipated Horror Movies of

2024 was a treat for horror fans, with spine-chilling releases like Nosferatu and Longlegs. But 2025 might be the best one yet.

Not only are we getting the final Conjuring film, we also get to see the much awaited Guillermo del Toroโ€™s take on the classic novel Frankenstein. It does not matter if you are into video game adaptations, want to see Cillian Murphy in a terrifying role, or want a vampire story with a twist, the 2025 horror lineup has something for everyone.

And if you are still not convinced, we have Leigh Whannell (creator of Insidious and Saw) returning behind the cameras. To keep you in the loop, weโ€™ve put together a list of the most anticipated horror movies of 2025.

Up Next

Exploring Parasocial Relationships With Gods

Parasocial Relationships With Gods Important Points

How have parasocial relationships evolved from ancient times to the digital age? Explore the connections with gods in this modern age.

How the gods are like social influencers.

Key points

Humans indulge in all sorts of imaginary parasocial relationships.

The exercise of the imagination in parasocial relationships makes those relationships feel real.

Humansโ€™ relationships with the gods are examples of parasocial relationships.

Up Next

Does Performing Rituals Build Character?

Does Performing Rituals Build Character? Important Points

How does performing rituals shape our inner self? This thought-provoking question explores whether ritual participation can lead to personal growth, and moral character. Let’s explore!

Experimental evidence suggests that ritual participation enhances self-control.

Key points

Popular assumptions about connections between religions and morality typically focus on religious beliefs.

Mindless routines seem unlikely candidates for enhancing the virtues.

Cross-cultural experimental evidence suggests that ritual participation enhances childrenโ€™s self-control.

Up Next

Law of Attraction Not Working for You? 6 Reasons Why (And How to Fix It!)

Law of Attraction Not Working? Reasons And How to Fix It

Is the law of attraction not working for you? I know how frustrating this can feel. You are putting in all that effort, visualizing the kind of life you want, saying all the right affirmations, and…still nothing.

No million-dollar check in the mail, no soulmate, and no dream job coming your way. So, why is your manifestation not working? Well, the truth is, there can be quite a few sneaky reasons why things might not be panning out the way you are hoping them to be.

Today, we are going to break all of that down and try to understand why law of attraction is not working for you, despite you pulling all the stops.

First, let’s start with trying to understand what is the law of attraction, shall we?

Up Next

Sassy, And Sharp: 4 Witty Zodiac Signs Ever!

Sassy, And Sharp Witty Zodiac Signs Ever!

Ever been caught off guard by someoneโ€™s comeback? The kind that leaves everyone rolling on the floor! There are some witty zodiac signs that just seem to have a natural knack for comedy and wit, just like Chandler Bing from Friends.

Do you have razor-sharp sarcasm, clever observations, or are blessed with the ability to find humor in the most mundane situations? Letโ€™s find if your zodiac makes it to the list.

find the most witty zodiac signs

Eager to fi