How to Connect Deeply With Almost Anyone In 10 Seconds Flat


How to Connect Deeply With Almost Anyone In 10 Seconds Flat

It is possible to connect deeply with almost anyone at any time, and here’s a simple way that works like magic.

How does one go from being totally shut-down most of their adult life to living fully heart open and connected?

For me, it requires doing one simple daily exercise to keep me in my heart. And, as a side benefit, it also opens the hearts of others –all in 10 seconds or less. This is so simple you might be tempted to think it couldn’t possibly be that easy. Trust me on this one, if it works for me (a real hard case) it will for you too.

I can only connect deeply

“Can’t You Be Human Just Once in Your Life!”

That was the refrain shouted at me by my wife as she was about to go into labor with our second child at the hospital. Instead of paying attention and comforting my wife, I was arguing with our four-year-old daughter about something not very important. Her rebuke wasn’t just labor pain rage. It was also a reflection of my typical lack of empathy which is not uncommon for people who are shut down and disconnected.

Her anger stung quite deeply because I knew there was more than an element of truth to it. Despite being successful in business and a high-energy extrovert, I always felt something was amiss in my life. I just couldn’t seem to deeply connect with anyone, including my own wife and kids.

I always felt something was amiss in my life. I just couldn’t seem to deeply connect with anyone, including my own wife and kids.

Oh don’t get me wrong, I could hold a conversation with the best of them and make people laugh –all while avoiding any semblance of vulnerability. Even after years of therapy, I was no closer to figuring it out, which just made me feel more frustrated and shut down. That is, until I couldn’t take it anymore.

Related: Conflict Doesn’t Ruin a Relationship, a Lack of Connection Does

A Line in the Sand

One day I said “enough is enough” and I pulled the trigger on changing my life forever. With the help of someone who could see the real me (despite my attempts to hide it) the source of my disconnect became abundantly clear.

It was simply my fierce unwillingness to show my heart, be completely vulnerable and feel everything, including things that are uncomfortable or even painful. Thanks to life and childhood wounds, I had placed a ton of armor around my heart to protect it from ever being hurt. All it really did was prevent me from feeling *anything* and connecting with anyone.

This insight was perhaps the biggest “Aha!” of my life. From that point on I drew a line in the sand and stepped over vowing to always remain heart open and vulnerable. The impact of that choice is difficult to overstate. My face softened, my eyes sparkled with joy and I literally felt giddy feeling truly alive for the first time. People have told me I now look 20 years younger.

Imagine the transformation of Scrooge after his visit with the Spirit of Christmas Future. That was me. This probably explains why I would always burst out sobbing at that point in the book when I read it to my kids every Christmas. My heart ached for that possibility, which only required me to have the courage to allow it to happen.

From that point on I drew a line in the sand and stepped over vowing to always remain heart open and vulnerable.

However, old habits die hard and life continues to throw challenges our way making it easy to put those defenses back up. So I knew I needed a way to keep me in this state of being fully heart open otherwise I’d risk falling back to my old disconnected and shut-down ways.

You may like to watch this video on how to skip small talks and have meaningful conversations:

The 10 Second Heart Opener

So what I do now, almost on a daily basis, is carry these little glass hearts with me everywhere. They are nothing special, just cheap iridized glass from China. Yet the impact they have when I give them out to people would make you think they were made out of diamond.

Related: 48 Deep Conversation Starters To Connect Deeply with Someone

I never know with whom I will share them. I let my intuition/heart guide me which of course means I need to be fairly present to even be aware of that guidance. I’ve given them to men, women, and children of all ages and mostly to people I have never met before.

It typically starts out with me handing them a glass heart and saying “This is for you because you have such big, beautiful heart.” And yes, I even say that to the guys I give them to as well. Most people who receive them are deeply touched and appreciative. I remember one older lady in the grocery store checkout line weeping after I gave her one –somehow it soothed her troubled soul.

Related: How Showing Compassion And Kindness Is Good For Your Mental Health

Another time I gave one to a guy who I approached in a parking lot because he was riding a Ducatti motorcycle (I’m into bikes big time). After talking about his bike for a while something just urged me to give him one of the hearts –he was deeply touched. The next day I ran into him again at a coffee shop.

He said, “Do you remember me?”

At first, I didn’t but then a smile of recognition came across my face as I said, “You’re the Ducatti guy!”

He said “That’s right. You know that heart you gave me yesterday? Well, I went to the beach afterwards and met someone and I gave it to her. I think there may be something there.” That was nearly two years ago and they are still together.

crave for deepest connections

This simple act of connecting hearts by giving them away has another, even more important purpose than touching the lives of others.

You see, I’ve discovered that I can’t give these away without my heart being open. And if I’m feeling shut down (which I do from time to time) the mere act of giving these little hearts away will immediately open mine.

Related: 6 Zodiac Pairs That Have the Deepest Connection of All

Ten seconds is all it takes to connect deeply with anyone, yet the impact it has on you and the ones you give it to can last a lifetime. I have not found a more simple or sure way than this for me to stay fully present, heart open and vulnerable. And if it works every time for someone who was as shut down as I was, imagine what it will do for you.

Are you ready to connect deeply with almost anyone in 10 seconds? Share your thoughts or experiences in comments.

NOTE: in case you are interested, you can buy these hearts in bulk from this Los Angeles, CA distributor which is what I do –I go through a lot of them 🙂

Written by Michael J. Russer
Originally appeared in The Goodmen Project

How to Connect Deeply With Almost Anyone In 10 Seconds Flat
How to Connect Deeply With Almost Anyone In 10 Seconds Flat

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Up Next

15+ Quotes From “Bridgerton” That Depict Obsessive Yearning

Best Bridgerton Quotes About Love And Romance

If you like romances and things from the Regency era, these Bridgerton quotes show how obsession can be a form of longing. This Netflix series features several love stories in which the characters experience intense desire and emotions.

Through eloquent dialogues and passionate interactions, “Bridgerton” powerfully reveals the aspirations that motivate its characters.

The series effectively frames the relationship between Daphne and Simon as an embodiment of smouldering attraction while at the same time conveying other major figures’ secretly yearning for each other.

Here are some Bridgerton quotes about love that perfectly sum up obsessive yearning.<

Up Next

Are You Seeing Pink Flags In A Relationship? 9 Signs You Shouldn’t Overlook It

What Are Pink Flags In A Relationship? Warning Signs

In relationships, we usually look out for red flags – those big signs that something is seriously wrong. But what about the less obvious ones? Let’s talk about what are pink flags in a relationship.

These signs don’t scream “danger” but still make you stop and think!

So, What Are Pink Flags In A Relationship?

Consider pink flags in relat

Up Next

4 Mutable Signs In Astrology: The Philosophers Of Duality

The Great Mutable Signs In Astrology: Are You One Of Them?

Did you know that Zodiac signs are classified by modalities or qualities, which describe their character and the stage they represent in a season? Mutable signs of the Zodiac signs are in a group which include Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius and Pisces.

These signs signify the death of a season or the end of a cycle. For example, Gemini begins as spring is coming to an end; Virgo starts when summer has finished up its business; Sagittarius kicks off just as fall is wrapping itself off — finally! — around everything it can find; and Pisces starts when winter has almost said “uncle” but not quite.

Related: The 12 Zodiac Signs:

Up Next

Why Handwritten Letters Are So Special? And 5 Reasons to Bring It Back

Why Handwritten Letters Are Special? Clear Reasons

In a digital era where everything is at the tip of your fingers, you’d think handwritten letters would be forgotten. But no, this nostalgic style of communication manages to worm its way into our hearts and hold on tightly. So, are you ready to learn why handwritten letters are special in modern times.

The personal touch it offers is something that people just can’t get enough of. Here we’ll take an in-depth look into why handwritten letters are special, and how they impact both the sender and the recipient.

Related: 11 Reasons Why World Needs More Love Letters

Up Next

Redefining Motherhood: 7 Mom Trends You Shouldn’t Feel Obligated To Follow

Popular Mom Trends, That Need To This Mother's Day

Some popular parenting or mom trends can be both helpful and tricky. They can make you feel like you’re part of a group, sharing in each other’s ups and downs. But sometimes, they’re more about following trends than what’s best for our families.

This Mother’s Day 2024, make it a point to learn why some trends need to go everywhere in this day and age where social media reigns supreme – promising simplicity, efficiency and style.

But not all trends were created equal; some need to be retired immediately. And here are seven mom trends I think have over-stayed their welcome – and why you should bid them farewell too.


Up Next

7 K-Dramas That’ll Give You Second Lead Syndrome

Interesting Second Lead Syndrome Kdramas To Warm Your Soul

Being captivated by a Korean drama usually means being consumed by the romantic tension between the protagonists. But sometimes there’s a twist: Second Lead Syndrome.

This is when you start rooting for the “other guy” — in Kdrama second leads are just as (if not more) charming and supportive than the main lead, and capture your heart as well. It’s an emotional roller coaster as these characters compete for the heroine’s affections, making you torn between who you want her to choose.

Kdrama second leads are often scene stealers with their irresistible charm — from heartthrobs to charming confidants, they’ve got it all. You might have begun shipping the female protagonist with the main lead, but once

Up Next

12 Heartwarming Poems About Mother’s Day That Will Win Her Heart

Emotional Poems About Mother's Day That'll Win Her Heart

Mother’s Day is almost here and you know what that means – it’s time to celebrate your incredible mother who has always showed you unconditional love and tireless support. She has always been there for you and has made sure that you lack for nothing. And what better way to express your gratitude than dedicating some beautiful poems about mother’s day?

So, if you are on the lookout for some Mothers Day poems that will make her feel loved and special, you have come to the right place! We have curated 12 of the most beautiful and emotional poems about Mother’s Day that will surely tug at her heartstrings.

Let’s explore some of the best mothers day poems that make you cry, and enjoy the essence of Mother’s Day.