How To Say No To Requests (Without Damaging Your Relationships): 8 Tips

how to say no

7. Manage Your Boundaries.

The ability to say no comes down to boundary control.

Boundary Control refers to the degree to which you feel in control as you manage the boundaries between your work life and personal life. Individuals with high boundary control can manage how they divide their time and attention between work and family. They decide when to focus on work, focus on family, or blend the two.

People with low boundary control are people-pleasers and avoid saying no to avoid conflict and guilt. They are also more stressed than people with higher boundary control. You need to maintain healthy boundaries. You cannot possibly say “yes” to every request and invitation that comes your way, and if you try to do that, you’ll only burn yourself out. If you haven’t already…

If you aren’t sure which side of the boundary spectrum you are on, here are some checkpoints:


Related: Personal Boundaries: 9 Core Boundaries To Live By

8. Final Thoughts.

Saying no is difficult, but like training your biceps, you need to strengthen your No muscle.

Remember, when you say yes to someone else, you are inadvertently saying no to what matters most to you. Ask yourself:

· What do I value?

· What matters to me?

· What am I committed to?

The results you have in your life now and what you are committed to. If you are in shape, you are committed to your health. If you make time to write every day, you are committed to your practice. You need to know what matters to you because when those decision moments come, you will own your no with confidence.

When you start second-guessing yourself and feel the need to justify your response, take comfort in Warren Buffet’s wise words:

“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything”.

Please share this article with anyone who you may think will find it valuable and helpful.

Written by: Lori Milner 
Originally appeared on: Beyond The Dress
Republished with permission
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