How I Gave Up Toxicity: My Story

 / 

how i gave up toxicity

My childhood wasn’t exactly a happy and joyous one. It was different – full of wrong experiences. This resulted in a more disturbed behavior in my early adulthood. This is something I realized when my peers and my family were not much accepting of my presence. I perceived that I was selfish and was a bad presence in the lives of people around me. I was becoming toxic, day by day.

I decided to explore the cause. I realized I have been suffering for long. I had no clue that I was inflicting pain because I was the one in pain, suffering deep down.

Read 13 Signs Of A Toxic Parent

How I looked As A “Toxic Person”

1) I Lied, Too Often

I lied to get things done on my own way. I could easily avoid responsibility.

2) I Used To Let Down Everyone

I was insecure and never liked expressing too much of emotions, I harbored anger inside me and always let people down.

3) I Held Others Responsible For My Own Problem

And, as a result, I ended up whining about my problems and made others realize that they were the root cause of it.

4) I Always Resorted To Sarcasm

I took my sarcasm a little too far. I used it in a negative sense to make others feel bad.

5) I Was Stubborn And Never Listened To Anyone

I never paid a heed to any important conversation. I even yelled “shut up” or “stop talking”, way too much.

6) How Badly I Use To Back-Bitch About Others

Yes, I even went to the extent of spoiling someone’s reputation.

7) I Loved Manipulating

That too, for no reason at all.

Even though I had this feeling that I have to change, but it wasn’t easy. I had to strategize my efforts to get rid of every shred of toxicity within me.

1) I Became My Own Therapist

One day, I sat by the window, all alone in my apartment and thought to myself, why am I like this? What is it about me that annoy people so much? I don’t know why, suddenly these arrays of thoughts were clouding my mind. But, then I told myself because ‘I was lonely’, ‘I had no friends’ and all due to my ‘toxic nature’. ‘Not any more’, I told myself. Since that day I took on a mission to change myself.

Once again I started painting, took up a music lesson class, since I loved to sing. During this journey of self-realization, I met a lot of wonderful people, interacted with them and finally made some ‘real friends’.

2) I Began To Work Out Regularly

Although medication is almost always prescribed but that does not really heal. Working out is a better option. It releases endorphins which help realize better satisfaction and feel happiness.

It won’t be easy to shift to an altogether new lifestyle, and chances are that you may give up as fast as you started. So, you have to make this your priority and give it the utmost importance.

Check out various routines to see which one excites you the most and you never want to miss a class or a session.

3) I Gave Up Seeking Negative Attention.

My toxicity brought me closer to toxic people only. My relationships never lasted long and were full of fights, arguments and misunderstandings.

I lost so many friends, but I didn’t care because that helped me attract attention.

Read 14 Riddles That Test Your Attention Skills

4) I Realized My Mistakes And Apologized.

I had made innumerable mistakes and hurt many people. Realizing mistakes and apologizing to those I had hurt after months and even years had elapsed as difficult, but rewarding. It helped me to heal. The kindness, with which people forgave me, was surprising. Maybe our relationships were over, but they accepted my apologies, and that rid me of the burden I was carrying for years.

Start now, accept your mistakes and make a new beginning.


How I Gave Up Toxicity My Story

— Share —

— About the Author —

Responses

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

7 Things That Can Tell You A Lot About Someone

Tell You A Lot About a person

Do you trust people at face value? Or do you analyze their attitude, body language, and behavior first to know them better?

Being able to read people is a superpower that can help us build better relationships and avoid toxic people. 

In this article, we are going to explore how subtle mannerisms and behaviors of people can reveal a lot about their real self.

When you know what to observe, you will be able to understand someone better and know their real personality.

Here are 7 things that can tell you a lot about a person

1. Their body language


READ FULL ARTICLE ⇲
Up Next

What Is A Psychonaut? Uncovering The World Of Mind Explorers 

Beyond Consciousness What Is A Psychonaut Signs

Do you want to explore the edges of your mind? Do you like to stretch your mind and navigate its farthest limits? Do you prefer entering altered states of consciousness to learn more about your inner self? Then you just might be a psychonaut. What is a psychonaut, you ask? Let's dig in.

Warning: This article involves discussion about the controlled use of different substances like psychedelics and hallucinogens for the purpose of research and self-discovery, not for recreation. This informative article is not designed to promote the use of substances or drugs in any way. Kindly use your own discretion while reading. 

What is a psychonaut?

Psychonaut m


READ FULL ARTICLE ⇲
Up Next

Redefining The Self: How Do You Discover Yourself Through Your Perception of Others

How Do You Discover Yourself By How You Perceive Others

How do you discover yourself? Do you become spiritual and go to the Himalayas to meditate? Do you reflect on how you have lived your life till now? Do you listen to what others have to say about you? Or do you listen to what you have to say about others?

Here’s the answer: You listen to what you have to say about others. How you perceive, observe and judge others can reveal a lot about yourself and help you gain a deeper understanding of the self. This is how do you discover yourself.

What we can learn from how we judge others

The way we judge others can reveal a lot about ourselves, including our own values, biases, and insecurities. By reflecting on our judgments of others, we can gain insight into ou


READ FULL ARTICLE ⇲
Up Next

Is Someone Watching You? Understanding Stalking Behavior

Breaking Down Stalking Behavior What You Need to Know

You have this constant feeling that you simply can’t shake. Your anxiety levels have shot up and you’re always on the edge. You feel like you’re being watched…all the time. Every step you take, every move you make, someone is watching you. You have a stalker and they are stalking you even when you’re at home.

Trigger warning: If you have been stalked before, then this content may appear triggering. Please use your discretion before reading the following content.

Is someone following you?

You walk down the street. It’s late. There are a handful of busy people walking by who pay no attention to you. The yellow streetlights make you feel relaxed and comfortable as you slowly walk towards your home. And then it


READ FULL ARTICLE ⇲
Up Next

Healing Your Inner Child: A Path to Overcoming Trauma

Steps To Healing Your Inner Child And Trauma

Healing your inner child is a journey toward self-discovery and self-love. Acknowledge and nurture the emotional wounds of your past, with the steps below!

We all have an “inner child,” which is an unconscious archetype coined by Carl Jung. It holds our vulnerability, spontaneity, creativity, curiosity, and magical ideas. It also holds fears, anxiety, shame, loneliness, trauma, and insecurity experienced growing up.

Our inner child manifests through our beliefs and actions and can have a negative influence on our thoughts, feelings, interpersonal behavior, and choices as adults. To heal, we must develop a relationship with our wounded self.

Trauma and Our Inner Child

Trauma that happens in chil


READ FULL ARTICLE ⇲
Up Next

10 Ways To Limit People Pleasing

People Pleasing Syndrome Ways To Limit People Pleasing

“People pleasing is really fearing people's reactions, rejection or abandonment.” - Tracy A Malone

Key Points:

People pleasing often starts in childhood, when someone doesn't have, or doesn't give themselves, permission to put themselves first.

Valuing others more than oneself delegates reinforcement of one's worth to the outside world.

People pleasers tend to be over-observant of micro-expressions and verbal nuances in others.

To avoid people pleasing at work, one can stop overcompensating and feeling responsible for mistakes made by coworkers.


READ FULL ARTICLE ⇲
Up Next

4 Tips That Will Help You Practice Self Compassion

Practice Self Compassion Tips For Self Compassion

"Practice self compassion. Talk to and be your own best, kind, compassionate, and caring friend." - Kristin Neff

Key Points

The more compassionate we are with ourselves, the more confident we will become.

The more harshly we judge our actions, the more harshly we will judge others.

If we're compassionate, we can objectively look at our missteps as lessons and learn to recover from them.

Compassion is not intuitive, and it’s an exceedingly difficult skill to learn. At face value, it may appear to be easy to express, but most people come across as more judgmental and righteous


READ FULL ARTICLE ⇲