Forget a soulmate. Find a weirdmate. And be happy and silly for the rest of your life with the person you love.
The most common thing people associate with happiness in their love lives: finding a soulmate.
Everyone wants to find a soulmate — their ‘one true love’.
Truth be told: there are billions of people in this world. That means by sheer population numbers, there are potentially thousands of people who we could meet in our lifetime, fall in love with and label as our ‘soulmate’.
For true believers in soulmates, that’s not something they want to hear. Particularly for those who feel they’ve found their soulmate: they don’t want to believe that there could ever be someone else out there.
I’ve always thought soulmates in love are what religion is in life. It’s a system in place to instill more control and purpose in our lives. Without it, we feel out of control, with no real sense of purpose.
Just like under religion’s terms: the purpose of life is to live in such a way that when we die we get to go to heaven.
Without it, what’s the point in living if it’s not in service of a greater purpose than ourselves?
Just as the purpose of love could be: we continue loving in hope that one day we will get to find and love our soulmate.
Without the possibility of a soulmate, what’s the purpose of dating?
You see the parallels I’m getting at. While I don’t subscribe to organized religion. I also don’t subscribe to the notion of one true soulmate either.
In fact, I want us to throw away the term ‘soulmate’ altogether. That’s because I think it boxes love into a corner.
What happens if you meet your soulmate, love your soulmate, but it doesn’t work out in the end and you break up?
What will you do then? What will your view of love be like then?
Your entire view of love will be shattered, as it was merely protected by this softshell you attributed to a ‘soulmate,’ but once that shell breaks, so does all your hope for the possibility of love in the future.
Just as religion and our belief in a perfect God can confuse us when tragedy and darkness strikes, the existence of a “soulmate” can confuse us about love when the love we experience in reality doesn’t match up to the idealized and romanticized version in our heads.
Soulmates give us the false allusion that we can not possibly love after love. It gives us the allusion that love should be perfect, without friction and hard times. It gives us the allusion that somebody comes perfectly, ready-made for us without us having to learn how to love and be loved by that person.
So I say, forget trying to find a soulmate. Find a weirdmate, instead.
Not because you’re jaded and pessimistic and have decided to downsize and truncate your belief in true love. But because being weird is the very essence of soul connection and alignment.
It’s a much more attainable and fun way to approach your love life.
The word ‘soulmate’ applies so much pressure. The word in itself presents an undeniable and daunting fear that we will end up settling in our love life and never find our ‘one true love’ because how god damn hard is it to find someone whom we could consider our fucking soulmate?
That’s like being asked to scale Everest without oxygen in your love life. Chances are, you’re going to get suffocated by an avalanche or die of altitude sickness. No thank you.
We often fall in love with people that have a compatible sense of weirdness. Somebody who sees us at our weirdest fucking self and can’t stop smiling and giggling to themselves. Somebody who thinks to themselves, “Oh my god! This person is so fucking weird! But I just love them so god damn much! Thank you for existing!”
I’m a weird person. Well, we’re all weird people in our own way. But love happens when we find someone who wants to consume our particular brand of weird every single day.
I always know my compatibility with a woman very early on based on how she reacts to my weirdness. I always know I have the potential to fall madly in love with a woman when she sees me in all my weirdness and can’t stop laughing or being amused by how fucking weird I am.
Whenever I find myself in those situations with a woman who gets and loves the weird shit that I bring to the table…I always say to myself…. “This is my kind of girl. There is a possibility I could fall for this girl and a possibility she could fall for me.”
When it comes to life, we all want to be seen. Every fucking human yearns to be seen. To be understood. To be seen for the essence of who they are. And we fall in love when we meet someone who sees us and understands us without even having to try.