These contradicting ideas swirl in your mind because you feel that you are undeserving of love. Somewhere within yourself, you have a strong feeling that you don’t deserve a healthy relationship, and you don’t deserve to be with anyone who will treat you right, and love you the way you deserve. Love is more than just exciting and it’s more than just a quick fix, love has the power to change you and your life.
Unless you feel comfortable with yourself, and feel okay with giving and receiving true love, you will keep on falling for the wrong people. Over and over again.
3. You haven’t let go of your past.
You are scared of love because you have been burned too badly in past, and you still haven’t moved on from that pain and trauma. The years might have gone by, but your heart and your inner child are still stuck in the past incidents that broke your heart into pieces and changed the way you look at love forever. You might think that you have moved on, but the truth is, you haven’t at all.
Whenever you feel that you are undeserving of love, it’s because your past is still haunting you and whispering in your ear that you don’t deserve anything good in life. The painful things you have experienced are constantly stopping you from falling in love with someone and be in a healthy relationship with them. You are holding onto the past like an anchor because you are scared that if you let go, you won’t know who you are apart from your trauma.
Having a traumatic past is one of the painful things ever, but holding onto it and letting it dictate your life is also not the solution. After a point, you need to make your peace with it and believe that just like everybody else, you also deserve to have a happy, fulfilling, and stable relationship in your life.
4. You are scared of intimacy and vulnerability.
You fall in love with people who never love you back because you are scared of being vulnerable and emotionally intimate with others. You think that you’re ready to be in a serious, committed relationship, but the moment things start getting serious, you start sabotaging it, and most of the time you don’t even realize it. You want to open your heart and love endlessly, but the fear of getting hurt always stops you, because when you love someone, there’s always a possibility of heartbreak.
You find it hard to move past that fear, and be vulnerable; you want to love and be loved, but you don’t want to lose control, and love is all about losing control, isn’t it? Love is surrendering yourself and letting it guide you towards happiness and fulfillment. You chase the wrong people and fall for them because not only are you fulfilling your need for connection, you are also in a way protecting your emotions.
So, when you fall in love with someone who doesn’t love you back it makes you feel the passion and intensity of being in love, but at the same time, “protects” you from commitment and being vulnerable and emotionally intimate with them.
5. You don’t actually fall in love.
When you think that you are falling in love with someone, it might be all in your head, and you’re actually not falling for them. Maybe you like the idea of them as a person, or you like how they make you feel, and you love everything they do for you to make you feel happy. You like what they bring to the “relationship”, but you don’t really love them, because somewhere deep inside you, you don’t see yourself spending your life with them.