It’s a known fact that extroverts and introverts don’t really get along, but that may depend on factors such as environment, personal background, conversational skills, etc. Here are a few heads up for extroverts who should be aware of these extrovert behaviors that can easily annoy introverts.
In our modern world where extroverts are socially acclaimed and honored, it’s hard for us introverts to have our say in the way we want things to be. Extroverts tend to excel in various walks of life thanks to their outgoing attitude, lovable personality, and smooth conversational skills.
On the other hand, introverts have a hard time paving their path under the pressures and expectations of society. But we manage. All I’m saying is our life would be a little easier if our counterparts, the extroverts, would be a little more aware of the extrovert behaviors that annoy introverts.
There I’ve said it, on behalf of all my fellow introverts. Yes, extroverts have a certain set of extrovert behaviors that tend to get on our nerves sometimes – and they can be seriously annoying.
When I’m taking a walk in the park alone. please don’t come crashing into me to have a full-blown conversation at 6 in the morning. Give me some time to recharge from the get-together we had over the weekend. This is the thing about introverts – we need time. Time to process the happenings in our life all in our heads so that we understand ourselves at a deeper level. We need time.
But without further ado, let’s educate our counterparts as to how they need to approach us just so they don’t go ruining our perfect day.
Related: 13 Signs You Are An Introvert.
Here Are 15 Extrovert Behaviors That Annoy Introverts The Most:
Introverts don’t really get annoyed that easily, not only other’s behaviors, there can be many situational outcomes that can also irritate them. But some extrovert behaviors, really get on their nerves when all they want is to mind their own business. Here are some behaviors that annoy introverts, ranked from the most to the least.
15. The Assumption That Everyone Should Be Extroverted
One of the main things that annoy introverts the most and this can be very frustrating. We would rather be appreciated for our presence because it literally took us a little more than all the courage we had to be at an event in the first place.
Once we get there, we’re cool with the greetings. But when it comes down to having a proper conversation with people who expect you to be as extroverted as they are, that’s when we want to shut down. Well, we don’t want to but that’s what happens.
You see, as introverts, we spend more time in our heads than we do in the real world. At least that’s what it feels like. We have thoughts racing around our heads at different speeds and when we are even slightly suggested to keep up with a conversation, our thoughts crash into each other.
Our mind goes blank from the collision. We’re not trying to be rude in any way if you don’t get the answer you were expecting. So, don’t ever expect every person you come across at a gathering to be extroverted.
14. Listening Only With The Intention Of Replying
This one’s a real bummer. Listening is one of the greatest introvert behaviors that we take pride in. We prefer listening rather than talking. We process stories and conversations in a different way in our minds, so using our sight and hearing senses would be enough.
Due to our incredible listening ability, we tend to reply with great insight – giving you the solid answer or advice you need to proceed. Since we perform this skill like it’s an art, we expect to be listened to and answered to in the same manner. But those are just our expectations.
If extroverts have the audacity to expect everyone to be extroverted, then is it too much to ask for to just listen to us as we speak? Extroverts tend to listen only with the intention of replying. This really annoys us introverts because we expect to be given solid advice or better perspectives which can only be done if you listen to understand.
13. Constant Blabbering And Mindless Chatter
How do you extroverts go on for hours and hours blabbering about how you cried over spilled milk? Or about how your little child is better than her little friend? Okay, we get it. Your tongues and lungs work better than your intuition. But won’t you slow it down sometimes?
We’re introverts but that doesn’t mean we don’t have an opinion or perspective to share. We might as well shut you up with one of our insightful remarks. You never know. So instead of blabbering your heart out, why not sit in silence and meditate on what has happened over the last few hours? Sounds much better, doesn’t it?
12. Constantly Being Asked If We’re Okay Because We Can’t Afford A Fake Smile
Fake smiles require a lot of effort. I’d rather have my ‘not bothered’ face on the whole day. Some introverts have mastered the art of faking a smile in public, but maintaining our poker faces is a part of our introverted nature.
If we are genuinely happy then, of course, we’ll smile. It’s not that we’re not happy. We’re just not used to society’s pressure of needing everyone to be happy 24/7. It’s just not possible. This is why introverts tend to wander off to the corner of the room or go outside for a walk alone. We prefer putting on our real faces rather than faking a smile.
11. Spontaneous Invitations To Hang Out
‘Let’s hang out sometime.’ ‘Please, no!’ is our first reaction. Don’t worry it only happens in our head. That may be the reason we sound kind of hesitant to reply to your spontaneous invitation. We need time to think it through.
As introverts, we’ve planned most of our week in our head and we’ve drawn a fine line between our social time, alone time, and work time. It is what it is. We find it hard to force ourselves to make arrangements with our mentally planned-out schedule.
So if you’re going to invite an introvert to hang out, you might want to plan it way beforehand so that we can manage to slip a hang out in the coming week or so. Don’t ever take it personally if we reject your invitation, we just need time to think it through or maybe build a better connection with you.
10. Assuming That We Can Hang Out Because We Have ‘Nothing To Do’
‘Doing nothing’ is just another way of saying ‘I’m recharging my social battery’. We need our timeout to just be with ourselves and relax. Having nothing to do or having no company is our way of having a good time. It may sound lame or boring but it’s essential for us introverts.
We respect those who respect our personal time. Of course, we can hang out some other time, but when I have ‘nothing to do’ and you come up with some event that we should go to – I’m tapping out. This too should not be taken personally.
Better to be fully recharged and enjoy time together than be drained before the event has even started. We would rather be at home with nothing to do.
9. Showing No Respect For Personal Conversations
If you are aware of basic social cues, which introverts are very aware of although we may not respond in the most appropriate way, then you know when a conversation becomes personal. In a personal conversation, we share our deeper thoughts and happenings – things that we don’t tell just everybody.
We let you in on our business because we trust you, you matter and we’re hoping for possible advice or a change of perspective. Now, if you take what we say and run with it to the first group of people you see – it’s over. No trust, no more personal conversations. We expect you to respect our personal issues at all costs.
8. The ‘Look At Me’ Attitude
We introverts will never get it. Introverts hate having attention drawn to themselves. When we see others draw the attention of others to themselves, we either cringe or just stare in awe. We don’t hate it that bad if you’re drawing the attention away from us.
That’s where we can shake hands. This is just one of the many introvert behaviors that distinguish it from extrovert behaviors. We may enjoy having the attention on us from time to time but only purposefully. We would rather observe than interact.
7. Domination Of The Entire Conversation
You may already know that introverts don’t like expressing themselves through speech as much as extroverts do. But that does not mean we get to be thrown under the bus every time we have a conversation.
We have opinions and perspectives too. Introverts may not be the best at communicating our thoughts and ideas on the subject being discussed, but if we are interested in the topic, we’re all in. We give our attention, time, and energy to keep the conversation entertaining and informative at the same time. It’s not that introverts aren’t good at keeping up conversations, it’s just that we can’t fake our interest in a topic that doesn’t spark our eyes as we speak.
So, even though we may not be able to contribute much to the conversation, give us some space and time to have a say as well. We want in on the conversations that interest us just as much as you extroverts do.
Some people are open books; One of the most common extrovert behaviors of the kind is, they’ll talk about anything and everything. These people are, in general, private about personal matters and feel incredibly self-conscious when those details are laid bare.
Gossip falls under the “things that don’t matter” category. Sure, everyone loves juicy gossip from time to time, but when that’s the only conversation topic, introverts get annoyed fast.
5. Feeling The Need To Fill The Silence
A parade of empty small talk is just so boring for introverts. We would rather spend time in our heads in silence than try and come up with the most hollow conversation topics. It just doesn’t feel right and we do not enjoy small talk at all.
We appreciate silence rather than try to fill it in with meaningless words and energy-consuming attention. It’s best if we both keep quiet and think to ourselves and maybe, just maybe, come up with a conversation topic that’s actually worthwhile and entertaining.
So, instead of trying to fill the silence with close-ended conversation topics, how about spending some time in silence and doing a little spring cleaning up in your head?
4. Constant Intense Eye Contact
This can be either terribly awkward or romantic as hell. No in-between. But in this case, we’re talking about the terribly awkward one. The ones where you have to look away from time to time just to maintain your sanity. Yes, too little eye contact can be disrespectful, but too much eye contact can be disrespectful.
Don’t go looking into the eyes of everyone you talk to for more than 3-5 seconds depending on what you’re talking about. If you are talking to more than one person, make sure you look into the eyes of everyone you’re talking to one by one. Don’t fixate your glance on one person only – it’s scary.
3. Invasion Of Personal Space
I swear you’ve got to draw the line with a bigger pencil these days. People tend to get on our nerves when they invade our personal space. Keep your distance when you talk to someone and don’t get too close unless they feel comfortable around you.
It is one of the many introvert behaviors to set boundaries that most people tend to misunderstand. We keep to ourselves for ourselves. This too should not be taken personally. We just expect you to respect our personal space.
Some people love getting close. It’s more exciting that way. But a lack of personal space, especially in a public setting, can push introverts over the edge. Plus, right now, personal space invaders just aren’t safe, as it’s a quick way to spread Covid-19. There’s a good reason introverts were socially distancing before it was cool.
2. Unexpected Phone Calls
How many times do I have to remind even my closest friends to send me a text rather than call me? That sudden burst of anxiety really throws us off and we tend to fumble if we’re occupied with any task. Calls are just not our thing.
Like a crying baby or a barking dog, a ringing phone demands your attention right now. Unexpected calls leave introverts no time to mentally prepare to be “on,” something crucial for our deep-thinking brains. Thankfully, texting has become the norm. Texting over phone calls any day.
Save the worst for the last – drama. Everyone enjoys a little bit of drama from time to time, others just don’t know when to stop. Drama demands a lot of attention, that’s why introverts tend to walk away rather than take part.
It’s one reason introverts choose a small circle of friends over a big network — and why they love spending time alone. There’s less drama with fewer people. As long as the drama can be kept at a minimum, we’re good.
Introverts don’t hate extroverts, all they want is to be not misjudged and quite frankly, left alone. But sometimes, some extrovert behaviors of some people really annoy them to the core.
Let us know what else annoys you as an introvert in the comments below. Here’s a little something to help you understand the many introvert behaviors and terms.