Falling in love with a married man seldom yields good results, and that’s why there comes a time when you realize that you need to end the affair for good, and go your separate ways.
No one sets out to be a mistress. True, some women may set out to have an affair or a fling with a married man; however, no one intentionally falls in love with a married man.
Despite the best of intentions, you may suddenly realize one day that the “casual” fling has turned into a full-blown love affair.
Whether the love affair is mutual or one-sided, being in love with a married man rarely works out in your favor in the end. While a married man can love another woman (like you), that situation often brings on nothing but pain and heartache.
Knowing that and actually doing something to end an affair with a married man are often two different things.
Learning how to end an affair with a married man is harder to do than with a single man, for a variety of reasons.
The good news is that it can be done by employing a few hardcore tactics.
There are a number of psychological and practical reasons why falling out of love with a married man is frequently more complicated than with an available man.
Often, married men spend a considerable amount of money on their mistress, whether in the form of lavish gifts or straight-out support; giving up that aspect of the affair can be difficult.
When you end a marriage or long-term relationship with a man, you typically divide the assets and walk away with something; however, when you end a relationship with a married man, you walk away empty-handed in most cases.
Falling out of love with an available man generally happens because the relationship has simply run its course, or because he did something that changed how you feel about him, such as infidelity.
With a married man, you only see him at his best for short periods of time. You don’t spend enough time with him to get bored of him, and the relationship never really gets out of the “honeymoon” phase.
It’s a constant rush of endorphins and adrenaline — so hard to resist.
As a result, it doesn’t run a normal course, so to speak.
In addition, since you have already accepted infidelity from him, which is generally considered one of the worst relationship “crimes,” he is unlikely to do anything that angers you enough to cause you to fall out of love.
Once you have decided that continuing the relationship with your married man is only going to bring you heartache in the end and that the relationship is unlikely to end without you taking affirmative action, it is time to do something about it.
Here’s how to end an affair with a married man for good and reclaim your life.
1. Start dating other people.
One option is to fall in love with another man, preferably a single and available one.
Interestingly, many women who become involved with a married man are surprisingly faithful to him. Even if you are inherently faithful, the bottom line is that he is not being faithful to you and you owe him no loyalty.
Get out and open yourself up to other possibilities.
As Heather Havrilesky writes for the Ask Polly column on The Cut, one of the best ways to get over an affair partner is to “Look around and ask yourself what this guy had that you wanted. Ask yourself what you were avoiding. Ask yourself what you hate about showing up and speaking to a real, relatively powerless guy who is needy and fragile, just like you, in real-time.”