Constantino is intentional about giving David a heads up, and depending on the urgency, we’ll even set a specific time in the calendar to have a Stress Reducing Conversation.
We also set a time limit on these conversations, which could easily last for hours.
This is particularly helpful to David because he finds it difficult to engage when there is no time limit. He feels trapped, preoccupied with when it will end.
But it also helps Constantino by forcing him to remain grounded, and not overanalyze what he may or may not be feeling.
All this might make our marriage sound cold, or too brainy, but it is nothing of the sort. These small compromises have allowed David to be present, and have even helped him to unpack and give voice to his own feelings.
This, in turn, has made Constantino feel more connected, which is what he ultimately wants.
By being mindful of each other’s feelings, we’ve been able to use Emotion Coaching in our relationship to become more emotionally intelligent.
By David and Constantino Khalaf
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