Emotional Intelligence in Kids: 3 Tips To Help Your Child Navigate Difficult Emotions

Emotional Intelligence in Kids: Helping Little Ones with Big Emotions. 




How Can You Help Your Child Navigate Difficult Emotions?

Children are honest about how they feel.

When they see something new or exciting, their eyes light up as they exclaim an awed “wow.” They giggle so intensely that others can’t help but smile along. The pride that comes with achieving something new is ever so brightly depicted when they start clapping for themselves. They express their love joyfully with hugs and kisses.



They also whine about not getting what they want, cry deeply when they get hurt, throw something in anger, hide in shame when they fail, display jealousy freely, and express fear at unexpected or loud noises.

Helping little ones with big emotions

Unfortunately, not every parent knows how to validate the full spectrum of their child’s feelings.

As adults, we may look back and realize the damage that had been done to us—often unintentionally—by well-meaning but dismissive parents who never learned how to properly manage their own feelings.




Then we have our own children and become acutely aware of the challenge that lies before us.

Related: 15 Enlightening TED Talks on Emotional Intelligence

How do we help our children navigate difficult emotions?

You want to hug them when they’re upset. Sometimes you may want to yell at them when they get angry. Perhaps it even makes you chuckle a little when they cry just because they look so cute and the issue seems so small relative to the big picture of life.

Sometimes you may want them to stop feeling so deeply because you are too busy to comfort them in this moment. Perhaps you don’t want them to feel deeply because you don’t like feeling sad, angry, or ashamed yourself. Perhaps you simply want to rescue them from the difficulty of tough feelings.

According to Leslie L. Greenberg, one of the founders of emotion-focused therapy, someone who is emotionally intelligent knows when and how to move in and out of emotions.

As parents, this is what we are trying to help our children figure out. We want them to know how to feel deeply, how to listen to their feelings, their messages, and respond appropriately, and when to redirect a feeling.




The following are a few tips to help you teach emotional intelligence to your kids.

1. Identify the feeling

Help your child describe the situation and the feeling or feelings that arose as a result of the situation. Empathize with them, and let them know that it is normal to feel what they are feeling.

For example: “You’re crying because your brother took your toy away. That made you feel sad. That would make me feel sad, too.”

2. Assess your own feelings

How do you want to respond to your child’s feeling? What does this tell you about yourself or your expectations? Try not to base your immediate response to your child’s feeling on your own response to the situation.

Related: 12 Ways To Improve Emotional Intelligence Through Self Care

For example: Your child throws a tantrum. You feel angry and may want to yell in response. Instead, you pause and discover why your child acted that way. You say something like, “You’re angry because mommy said ‘Don’t touch.’ Mommy said this because she loves you and doesn’t want you to get hurt.” 

Later, spend some time thinking about why the tantrum bothered you so much. Did you interpret the tantrum as a negative reflection on you as a parent? Were you annoyed with the noise? Did it remind you of something else?

3. Help your child choose an appropriate verbal and behavioral response

If your child is sad, allow them to cry until they’re done (this may come in waves). If they’re angry, allow them to express their anger by using words, jumping, squeezing a pillow, or in another non-destructive way.




For example: “I understand that you are angry. That’s okay. It’s not okay to hit your brother. How can you show your anger in another way?”

Watch out this interesting video on how to raise emotional intelligence in kids:



Research shows that giving your child the gift of emotional intelligence can greatly improve their quality of life. Your child will feel confident that what they experience is important and that their feelings are valuable. This ability to communicate feelings effectively can also increase intimacy in their friendships and later in their romantic relationships.

Emotional intelligence can prevent them from resorting to unhealthy ways of coping. It also increases their ability to work better with others and helps them focus on assignments, which will make them a better student and, eventually, a better employee.




Finally, one of the best gifts you can give to your child is to continue growing and developing your own emotional intelligence. The better you are at expressing and understanding your feelings, the better you’ll be able to teach your children to do the same. Spend some time reflecting on how you deal with tough feelings such as anger, shame, guilt, fear or sadness and decide if there is something you can do differently today.

By Tamara Patterson

emotional intelligence in kids


Published On:

Last updated on:

The Gottman Institute

The Gottman Institute uses over 40 years of research on thousands of couples to provide research based tips on how to make love last. Our research has saved troubled relationships and strengthened happy ones. Get your free copy of 7 Signs Your Relationship Will Last by clicking here Workshot for Couples Professional Training Certificate Courses

Disclaimer: The informational content on The Minds Journal have been created and reviewed by qualified mental health professionals. They are intended solely for educational and self-awareness purposes and should not be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing emotional distress or have concerns about your mental health, please seek help from a licensed mental health professional or healthcare provider.

Leave a Comment

Today's Horoscope

Accurate Daily Horoscope for 12 Zodiac Signs

Daily Horoscope 25 June 2025: Prediction For Each Zodiac Sign

🌟 Ready to unlock the secrets of 25 June, 2025? Discover your personalized horoscope and see what the stars have in store for you today! ✨🔮

Latest Quizzes

Music Taste Quiz: Find Out Your Strongest Personality Trait

Music Taste Quiz: The Music You Like Can Reveal Your Strongest Personality Trait!

Whether you’re the life of the party with a pop playlist, or a deep thinker grooving to jazz, your choice in music can say a lot about who you are.

Latest Quotes

Weekly Horoscope 23 June To 29 June part one

Weekly Horoscope 23 June To 29 June

Weekly Horoscope 23 June To 29 June Aries (March 21 – April 19)Tangible progress on home & wellness goals. A heartfelt reset in family matters or living arrangements. An unexpected insight around 27th may reshape how you handle emotional security or finances. Taurus (April 20 – May 20)This is the week to act on long-held…

Readers Blog

Dear Me At 23 Lessons Learned And Dreams Ahead

Dear Me At 23: Lessons Learned And Dreams Ahead

I think of life as a ride that propels us to live through the synopsis of time, that stargazes us through life, that guides us through our darkest moments, that comforts and confronts us. Striding through the odyssey of journey that mesmerises us in its finest beauty and haunts us with its darkness, that binds…

Latest Articles

Emotional Intelligence in Kids: Helping Little Ones with Big Emotions. 




How Can You Help Your Child Navigate Difficult Emotions?

Children are honest about how they feel.

When they see something new or exciting, their eyes light up as they exclaim an awed “wow.” They giggle so intensely that others can’t help but smile along. The pride that comes with achieving something new is ever so brightly depicted when they start clapping for themselves. They express their love joyfully with hugs and kisses.



They also whine about not getting what they want, cry deeply when they get hurt, throw something in anger, hide in shame when they fail, display jealousy freely, and express fear at unexpected or loud noises.

Helping little ones with big emotions

Unfortunately, not every parent knows how to validate the full spectrum of their child’s feelings.

As adults, we may look back and realize the damage that had been done to us—often unintentionally—by well-meaning but dismissive parents who never learned how to properly manage their own feelings.




Then we have our own children and become acutely aware of the challenge that lies before us.

Related: 15 Enlightening TED Talks on Emotional Intelligence

How do we help our children navigate difficult emotions?

You want to hug them when they’re upset. Sometimes you may want to yell at them when they get angry. Perhaps it even makes you chuckle a little when they cry just because they look so cute and the issue seems so small relative to the big picture of life.

Sometimes you may want them to stop feeling so deeply because you are too busy to comfort them in this moment. Perhaps you don’t want them to feel deeply because you don’t like feeling sad, angry, or ashamed yourself. Perhaps you simply want to rescue them from the difficulty of tough feelings.

According to Leslie L. Greenberg, one of the founders of emotion-focused therapy, someone who is emotionally intelligent knows when and how to move in and out of emotions.

As parents, this is what we are trying to help our children figure out. We want them to know how to feel deeply, how to listen to their feelings, their messages, and respond appropriately, and when to redirect a feeling.




The following are a few tips to help you teach emotional intelligence to your kids.

1. Identify the feeling

Help your child describe the situation and the feeling or feelings that arose as a result of the situation. Empathize with them, and let them know that it is normal to feel what they are feeling.

For example: “You’re crying because your brother took your toy away. That made you feel sad. That would make me feel sad, too.”

2. Assess your own feelings

How do you want to respond to your child’s feeling? What does this tell you about yourself or your expectations? Try not to base your immediate response to your child’s feeling on your own response to the situation.

Related: 12 Ways To Improve Emotional Intelligence Through Self Care

For example: Your child throws a tantrum. You feel angry and may want to yell in response. Instead, you pause and discover why your child acted that way. You say something like, “You’re angry because mommy said ‘Don’t touch.’ Mommy said this because she loves you and doesn’t want you to get hurt.” 

Later, spend some time thinking about why the tantrum bothered you so much. Did you interpret the tantrum as a negative reflection on you as a parent? Were you annoyed with the noise? Did it remind you of something else?

3. Help your child choose an appropriate verbal and behavioral response

If your child is sad, allow them to cry until they’re done (this may come in waves). If they’re angry, allow them to express their anger by using words, jumping, squeezing a pillow, or in another non-destructive way.




For example: “I understand that you are angry. That’s okay. It’s not okay to hit your brother. How can you show your anger in another way?”

Watch out this interesting video on how to raise emotional intelligence in kids:



Research shows that giving your child the gift of emotional intelligence can greatly improve their quality of life. Your child will feel confident that what they experience is important and that their feelings are valuable. This ability to communicate feelings effectively can also increase intimacy in their friendships and later in their romantic relationships.

Emotional intelligence can prevent them from resorting to unhealthy ways of coping. It also increases their ability to work better with others and helps them focus on assignments, which will make them a better student and, eventually, a better employee.




Finally, one of the best gifts you can give to your child is to continue growing and developing your own emotional intelligence. The better you are at expressing and understanding your feelings, the better you’ll be able to teach your children to do the same. Spend some time reflecting on how you deal with tough feelings such as anger, shame, guilt, fear or sadness and decide if there is something you can do differently today.

By Tamara Patterson

emotional intelligence in kids


Published On:

Last updated on:

The Gottman Institute

The Gottman Institute uses over 40 years of research on thousands of couples to provide research based tips on how to make love last. Our research has saved troubled relationships and strengthened happy ones. Get your free copy of 7 Signs Your Relationship Will Last by clicking here Workshot for Couples Professional Training Certificate Courses

Leave a Comment

    Leave a Comment