How You Can Work Towards Embracing Wholeness In Your Life


Work Towards Embracing Wholeness In Life

Embracing wholeness in your life can seem like an intimidating and sometimes confusing thing to do. But you can start by taking a deep look into yourself.

WHOLENESS, such a big word to embrace.

What does it even mean? Whole. Entire. Full. Complete?
In the world of psychology, we are really good at defining what is wrong with us. The system teaches us to diagnose, label, and symptomize to help people heal. That’s what I learned at University: to put people into boxes. But what does it look like to be whole? Can we define it? Would we know it if we saw it? Are there degrees of wholeness? Does wholeness look the same for you as it does for me?

I don’t have the answers, but I can tell you what wholeness feels like to me. I can tell you that I have tried absolutely everything except the obvious: Doing absolutely nothing at all. And once I embraced the emptiness, I found the fullness within.

When I had nothing to lose, I had everything. When I stopped being who I am, I found myself.

Holding yourself exactly as you are

Wholeness is a complex and personal issue because it involves all of what makes us human – mind, body, soul, emotions, and relationships. All of the experiences that have shaped us. None of these can be scientifically studied in a vacuum, put under a microscope, or dissected.

I believe wholeness is everything that is contained within us, from past, present, and future, which is not dependent upon our circumstances. Wholeness implies holding yourself exactly as you are.

A whole person is able to find comfort within the discomfort of life. Yet, wholeness is hard to embrace because brokenness often feels more overwhelming, painful, wrong, and prevalent. As much as we are not broken, we are also never not whole. Once you embrace all of who you are, there is nothing to be healed. A whole person is a healed person. Simple, yet not always easy.⠀⠀

Related: Brené Brown’s Powerful Quotes on Accepting Yourself Wholeheartedly

The burden of brokenness

Brokenness is something that most of us know and want to avoid. Broken feels painful, shameful, bad, and frightening; full of meaning that is taught to be avoided or fixed at all costs.

If there has been trauma, brokenness can feel more acute and sometimes take more time and patience to work with. Trauma (Latin rout: wound) is a psychological wound that interferes with your ability to grow and thrive. It induces fear and shame to a point where your whole life is regulated by pain & regret that you’re trying to escape from in various ways. Trauma, no matter how “big” or “little” it may be, makes you less flexible, more rigid, less feeling, and more defended.

Being patient and attuning to our needs in the present moment is how we dance between effort (keeping daily promises to self) and surrender (allowing our emotions to guide us). This dance between effort and surrender gives birth to insight, healing, and wholing.⁣

I believe healing from the illusion of brokenness is a matter of releasing what we have been told, so we can remember who we truly are. ⁣It’s the space and place where there’s no more hiding – only embracing of all of it.

Healing is the return of the memory of wholeness!

My journey to wholeness

I’ve spent the first quarter of my life looking for someone to save me, validate me, and tell me I belonged. I was looking for wholeness, worth, and power outside myself and overly focused on external approval over internal satisfaction. I believed like a “good girl” would, that if things on the outside were “right” that I’d finally feel how I wanted to feel deep inside!

It seemed that somehow I was doing all the “right things” – I went to University here in Germany, graduated with an MSc. cum laude started my Ph.D.… – and perpetually felt “not enough”, wrong, and full of shame as these achievements didn’t seem to fulfill me. People kept saying I should learn to just ‘stay positive‘, ‘love myself’, ‘forgive myself’, and ‘accept myself’, but how can any of these exist without being aware of oneself?

I believe self-awareness is the starting point to living in our authentic power, wholeness, and worth. We all have parts of ourselves that are wanting to belong, waiting for recognition, waiting to be honored, waiting for permission. And if there is no one else to give it to us, we have to learn to become the one we are longing for ourselves.

As I continue on my healing journey, I’m learning to become more aware of the things below the surface, and hold space for the messy and unhealed parts. For the wounds that call for attention, care, and gentleness. And I invite you to do the same.

Related: Self-Awareness vs. Self-Consciousness: The Confidence Perspective

The stages to wholeness

This is the pathway as well as some “guidelines” that lead me to embrace my wholeness. These stages might not be the ones you will journey through, but maybe they will give you some ideas and encouragement on your own path.

Embracing Wholeness
Embracing Wholeness

Embracing Wholeness

Embracing Wholeness
Embracing Wholeness

I have come to know wholeness through my sense of brokenness, working deeply with my stories, beliefs, and parts of self. Healing and wholing happens through a process of facing fear and developing trust within yourself.

I believe that healing and wholing come from a place where you recognize that there is nothing to be “fixed” as there is nothing that is “broken”. People don’t break. They get hurt and then they heal. This doesn’t mean that the damage never existed it means that we no longer allow it to define us.

Wholeness is not a place where there is no pain, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of all of life’s challenges and still remember that you are complete. Wholeness does not mean perfection: it means embracing brokenness as an integral part of life. And it’s in this radical, authentic, soul-aligned way of living that we find we can belong everywhere we go because we belong to and with ourselves.

I’ve been on this journey home to myself for quite some time now and I am finally finding joy in the journey. Showing me it’s safe to belong. It’s safe to attune to myself and let myself be seen. It’s safe to soften my body and trust my feelings, whether they seem “good” or not. I would rather be whole than good!

An invitation

I lovingly invite you to pursue wholeness over perfection. When you look in the mirror, make sure you’re looking at the whole picture. More than you notice the one thing you wish you could change, notice that you are a whole human being who has made it another day.

Carry this mindset with you as you look back over your life. Your last job may not have been what you wanted, but it was a whole experience you learned from. Your life may not be exactly where you thought it would be, but this is still a whole life that is still worth being lived fully.

You do not have to be ‘perfect’ to be whole. You are a whole person. Not an “I-could-have-been-near-perfect” person had you taken different paths in your life. Your flaws are a part of you, and so are your strengths. Your fears are a part of you, and so is your bravery, your faith, and your resilience.

Yes, you have made mistakes. And you have also made really good decisions. Learn and grow from the things that went wrong. Nurture the things that have gone right. Even when they were small and seemingly insignificant, they counted toward meaningful growth in your life.

Related: How To Use Your Emotional Triggers For Your Personal Growth

Some questions to ponder on

What if “home” – our safe place, our refuge, the center and heart of life, our greatest feelings of ease & comfort reside within us? If that’s the case, how do we become “homemakers” in ourselves regardless of relationship, location, and title? How do we embrace our wholeness while recognizing the pieces that have been hurt?

Again, I don’t have all the answers. If I did, I’d share them with you! If your definition of wholeness is different, please tell me in your comments – I’d love to know. 😌

“It was when I stopped searching for home within others / and lifted the foundations of home within myself / I found there were no roots more intimate / than those between a mind and body / that have decided to be whole.” – Rupi Kaur

Home, for me, is not a place. It’s a feeling. A sense of belonging – to and within myself.

Dear friend, you came here to be in your fullness.

And that’s yours to choose.


Ps: If you are looking for a simple, yet effective, tool to cultivate a more nourishing and loving relationship with yourself, feel free to have a look at the GOOD LIFE Journal that I created for people like me and you

Check out Nila Conzen’s Instagram page here for more beautiful posts like this.

Written by Nila Conzen
Originally Appeared In About The Good Life

Working towards embracing wholeness in your life is not actually a very difficult thing to do, if you stop for a moment, and look. Accept yourself, love yourself, be resilient, and have faith in yourself and your abilities. Wholeness will start to reside in you with time.

Work Towards Embracing Wholeness In Life pin

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

Is it Greedy to Consciously Manifest Money or Material Things?

Is It Wrong To Consciously Manifest Money Or Material Things

When it comes to manifesting the things you want, is it wrong to manifest money? Or other material things that you have been wanting for a long time? How does the art of manifestation work? Let’s explore that together.

“Ever notice how manifestation teachings are most often about consuming more? Why would humans imagine that God supports greed? So much false light. So much communicated from distortion.”

I have noticed a disturbing trend in people who lack understanding of the Law of Attraction, making judgmental and uninformed statements like the one above. These statements attempt to shame and criticize others passively but usually stem from wounding within the ind

Up Next

7 Strange Ways The Full Moon Seriously Messes with Your Mind and Mood

Does The Full Moon Affects Moods? Strange Impacts On Mind

Ever caught yourself thinking about how the full moon affects mood mysteriously? We’re not saying you’re a werewolf here, but many often confess to feeling reflective under the moon’s glow and not to forget the age-old enchantment with the moon.

So let’s learn about the myth and mystery of how it affects behavior and emotions.

Science itself may not back it up directly but many people say that full moon affects moods spiritually. This piece will address seven effects of the full moon on emotions, behavior and mental health.

Up Next

What Is Self Reflection? 9 Helpful Tips To Understand Yourself Better

What Is Self Reflection? Helpful Tips For Self-Examination

Ever found yourself pondering over your thoughts, actions, and experiences? Have you ever taken a step back to examine your emotions, motivations, and personal growth? These moments of introspection and self-analysis are crucial for personal growth. Let’s explore what is self reflection in psychology and learn some self reflection tips.

What is Self Reflection in Psychology?

Self-reflection, in the realm of psychology, is a process of introspection where individuals examine their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors with a conscious and objective perspective. 

It involves lookin

Up Next

What Are Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms? 8 Major Examples And How To Handle Them

What Is Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms? Types And How To Deal

Navigating through life is akin to taking a trip down a winding road with unexpected twists and turns. On this path, we face moments that push us to our limits and test our inner strength. It’s during these times that we lean on various strategies to get by—our coping mechanisms, which are like the tools we use to fix things when they break down. But it’s important to recognize that not all these tools are healthy. So, what is unhealthy coping mechanisms?

Unhealthy coping mechanisms might even make things worse in the long run. They can be sneaky, sometimes making us feel better in the moment, but in reality, they prevent us from truly healing and finding peace.

This article is

Up Next

7 Secret Signs of The Warrior Within: Discover Warrior Spirit Meaning And How To Develop It

Discovering Warrior Spirit Meaning And How To Develop It

Have you ever witnessed someone facing incredible odds, yet rising above them with unwavering determination and an unyielding spirit? Every individual possesses a warrior spirit – an indomitable will that propels them forward, even in the face of adversity. Let’s explore warrior spirit meaning, the signs of a warrior spirit and how you can develop it.

Warrior Spirit Meaning

“Warrior Spirit” embodies a mindset of resilience, courage, and unwavering determination in the face of challenges. It involves cultivating mental toughness, discipline, and a relentless pursuit of goals. 

The spirit o

Up Next

What Is A Backhanded Compliment? 10 Examples That Show Why It’s The Worst Thing Ever

What Is A Backhanded Compliment

Imagine stepping out the door feeling like you’re on top of the world. You’ve put in effort into your look, and you’re brimming with a sense of self-assuredness. Then, someone slides up to you with a smile and says: “You’ve lost weight! You look much prettier now.” And there goes your self-esteem. Was that supposed to be a compliment? Welcome to the bittersweet world of backhanded compliments. But what is a backhanded compliment?

Backhanded compliments are, perhaps, the most socially acceptable way to lace negativity with a bow of positivity, delivered with a smirk hiding under a smile. It’s the subtlety of these remarks that makes them so intriguing and so infuriating.

Up Next

What Is Fragile Masculinity And How It Impacts Lives

What Is Fragile Masculinity: Key Indicators

In a world where societal expectations often dictate the behavior and roles of individuals, certain gender norms have perpetuated a concept known as fragile masculinity. But what is fragile masculinity exactly, fragile masculinity examples, signs of fragile masculinity and why is it important to discuss? 

Today, we will delve into the depths of this phenomenon, exploring its signs and providing relatable examples to shed light on its impact. By unraveling the layers of fragile masculinity, we aim to foster a more inclusive and compassionate society for all.

What is Fragile Masculinity?

At its core, fragile masculinity refers to a