Don’t get involved in a relationship so much that you forget you have a life, an identity that needs to exist. A relationship is an important part of your life but it is not your entire life. No matter how deep your relationship is, you should not be apologetic for having your own preferences, views, likes and dislikes and life goals. This stands true whether you are in an everlasting relationship or in the initial stages of a relationship which is just one of the several you are going to have.
Remember, you can break up with a person but not with yourself.
Don’t forget who you are. You cannot and should not exist just being someone’s wife or girlfriend. Of course, we need to make decisions together, agree on certain things but when it comes to your life, it is your call and you alone have the right to decide all matters associated with it. Be in a position strong enough to support yourself if ever your relationship comes to a sudden end. So, don’t be apologetic about having an identity outside the relationship.
Here are some more things for which you should not be apologetic.
1. Being Alone
Don’t stop spending some time alone. You may want to spend this time doing something that you like or just relax and chill without having to spare your attention to anybody else. Living in a small place is not an excuse either. Just put your headphones find a cozy spot and relax. Your partner is not entitled to every moment of your life.
2. Dissimilar likings
You don’t have to wear, eat, read and watch the same things your partner likes. It’s perfectly okay to wear exactly what appeals to you. If your partner is a complete sucker for sci-fi or super hero movie and you can’t stand them a bit, be vocal. You don’t need to bear 3 hours of torture. Letting your partner know about your dislikes is fine.
3. Personal Goals
You should have your own life goals, and you have the right to make extra efforts to achieve them. Work late, make sacrifices and focus on your goals. But, that doesn’t mean ignoring your partner. You should make your partner feel important and wanted. If you are in a genuine relationship, your partner will be at your side. However, if they behave differently, it’s enough to tell you they are not the right person for you.
4. Difference of opinion
You may have different view on so many things. You are not obliged to hold same opinion as your partner. Your partner may love adventure sports, while you may think it’s too dangerous and waste of money and time. But, you cannot trust your opinion on your partner and deprive them the joy of doing something that they love so dearly. The same thing applies to you. However, there are things where this principle will not apply, but for most of the other things it will.
5. Getting attracted
Seeing a beautiful person and feeling attracted is normal biological reaction. This does not mean your partner is not attractive or you are going to cheat. It only means that you saw a charming personality and liked what you saw. There is no reason to feel bad about this until you honor the boundaries of your relationship and are respectful towards your partner.
6. Feel the way you do
There is no need to be sorry about how you feel. After all you are human and human beings do have feelings. Some days you can feel too emotional, some days you can feel a bit down. As long as you don’t upset your partner or make him or her victim of your bad mood, you don’t need to apologize. If you had a bad day and you want your partner to hug you and make you feel good, ask for the hugs. There is nothing to feel bad or apologetic for needing emotional support.
7. Ending the relationship
If you don’t feel or get what you want in a relationship, you have all the right to leave. You could be with the best person in the whole world but if you are not feeling ‘it’ you should end the relationship. You don’t have to be guilty or apologetic about it. On your part you should make sure you let your partner know everything in a mature and kind manner. But, once you have done that you have owe nothing to them. You can choose not to be in contact for some time or for the rest of your life.