Being in a relationship with the one you love is a feeling like no other. However, a relationship is an important part of your life but always remember that it is not your entire life. In the quest for the perfect relationship, don’t lose yourself. And that’s why it’s important to know the things to stop apologizing for.
No matter how deep your relationship might be, you should not be apologetic for having your own preferences, views, likes, dislikes, and life goals. Never apologize for who you are and what you stand for; your individuality is one of the best things about you and never let anyone take that away from you.
Remember, you can break up with a person but not with yourself.
Don’t forget who you are. You cannot and should not exist as just someone’s wife or girlfriend. Of course, we need to make decisions together, and agree on certain things but when it comes to your life, it is your call and you alone have the right to decide all matters associated with it.
Be in a position strong enough to support yourself if ever your relationship comes to a sudden end. So, don’t be apologetic about having an identity outside of your relationship.
Read on to know more about the 11 things you don’t have to apologize for.
10 Things To Stop Apologizing For
1. Wanting some alone time for yourself.
One of the most important things you don’t need to apologize for is craving some solitude for yourself.
Solitude can make you feel recharged and rejuvenated, and if someone doesn’t understand that, then maybe you’re better off without them. Just because someone doesn’t understand your need for solitude doesn’t mean you should stop spending some time alone.
You may want to spend this time doing something that you like or just relax and chill without having to focus your attention on somebody else. Just put on some headphones, find a cozy spot and relax. Your partner is not entitled to every moment of your life, nor are you supposed to spend every waking moment with them.
2. Being different and having different interests.
You don’t have to wear, eat, read and watch the same things your partner likes. It’s perfectly okay to wear exactly what appeals to you. If your partner is a complete sucker for sci-fi or superhero movies and you can’t stand them a bit, don’t be scared to let them know that.
You don’t need to bear 3 hours of torture just because you love them. Having different interests doesn’t mean you love them any less; it’s just that you like certain things and they like certain things. Letting your partner know about your dislikes is fine.
3. Having personal and ambitious goals.
You should have your own life goals, and you have the right to invest your time to achieve them. If it feels right to you, then work late, make sacrifices and focus on your goals. If you are shamed or criticized for it, then just ignore it.
But, that doesn’t mean you should ignore your partner. If you love your partner, you should also treat them with respect and give them the time and importance they deserve. If you are in a truly loving and healthy relationship, your partner will always be at your side and will be your biggest cheerleader.
However, if they behave differently and get annoyed with your ambition, then it’s enough to tell you that they are not the right person for you.
4. Not sharing the same opinions all the time.
This is one of the most important things to stop apologizing for. You may have a different view on so many things, and you know what? That’s perfectly fine! You are not obliged to hold the same opinions as your partner.
Your partner may love adventure sports, while you may think it’s too dangerous and a waste of money and time. But, you cannot impose your opinion on your partner and deprive them of the joy of doing something that they love so dearly.
The same thing applies to you. However, there are things where this principle will not apply, but for most things, it will. Don’t apologize to anyone for something so simple and normal.
5. Feeling the way you do.
Another one of the many things to stop apologizing for is this. There is no need to be sorry about how you feel; after all, you are human. Some days you can feel too emotional, and on some days you can feel a bit down. As long as you don’t upset your partner or make them a victim of your bad mood, you don’t need to apologize for your emotions.
If you had a bad day and you want your partner to hug you and give you some support, then ask for the hugs. There is nothing to feel bad about or apologetic for needing emotional support. Not every day is going to be a good day, and that’s okay.
6. Choosing to let go and end a relationship.
If you don’t feel or get what you want in a relationship, you have all the right to leave. You could be with the best person in the whole world but if you are not feeling love or if you feel that this person is not the one for you, then you should end the relationship.
You don’t have to be guilty or apologetic about it. On your part, you should make sure you let your partner know everything in a mature and kind manner. But, once you have done that, remember that you owe nothing to them. You can choose not to be in contact for some time or for the rest of your life. Letting go of a relationship, and waiting for the right person is not wrong in any way.
7. Not wanting to have sex whenever they want.
You may or may not want to have sex on a particular day. If you are not feeling physically and mentally in the zone to have sex, be open about it and let your partner know. It’s normal to not want to be physically intimate all the time.
On the other hand, if you want to have sex that is also okay. Don’t feel ashamed to let your partner know about it. Similarly, if your partner isn’t in the mood, they should not feel apologetic either. The bottom line is that sex should never be forced, and should always be treated with respect. Consent should matter above all.
8. The way you look.
It is always good to maintain a sharp, well-put-together, and presentable appearance. You should dress well and look good, whenever you want to.
But, when you are at home relaxing or just enjoying your downtime, naturally you would want to be in comfortable clothes. If your partner has a problem with the fact that you don’t look like a supermodel at home, then it’s their problem.
It is your choice how you want to look and dress. You are under no obligation to look hot and sexy or maintain a supermodel appearance all the time unless YOU want to look that way. Don’t apologize about how you look.
9. Wanting to visit your family or friends alone.
Isn’t it true that we want to share so many things with the people we are closest to? When in a relationship one must not forget there are others who existed in their life before the relationship happened. Your mom, your siblings, and your friends may want to spend some time just with you.
They may want to share something of their own with you. So, if at times you don’t want to invite your partner they should not get offended. Try to make them understand and encourage them to spend some alone time with their own people.
10. Being the authentic you.
This is probably the most important out of all the things to stop apologizing for.
If your partner doesn’t like your personality, they are not the one for you. People get attracted to each other, but as they come closer they get to see and understand one another better. This is when your true personality gets revealed. The good, the bad, all of it comes out once you start to get to know each other.
Being yourself is the best thing you can do for your happiness and peace of mind. Why should you compromise your individuality for someone else? The person who truly loves you will never try to change you, nor will they expect you to become like them.
So, be you and accept yourself wholeheartedly. You have only one life, why not live it on the foundations of self-acceptance, self-compassion, and authenticity?
The next time you feel that you need to change yourself in order to have a “happy relationship”, tell yourself this – “I don’t need to apologize for being me!” Practice this as a positive affirmation, and never ever compromise your individuality and authenticity.
Want to know more about the things to stop apologizing for? Check this video out below!