4 Strategies For Dealing With Fear and Live a Courageous Life


Courageous Life

Are you living a courageous life? Or do you succumb to those negative voices in your head? Here’s how you can live a life without fear and endurance.

Learning strategies to deal with your fears can help prepare you to take risks and change your life.

On any given day, many of us wrestle with our fears. We might be contemplating a career change, telling someone we love them, or wanting to speak up for what’s right when we see injustice. But a voice within us pipes up saying that there’s no point, or that we aren’t really capable of creating the life or world we desire.

Whether you call it “fear” or some other name—anxiety, stress, discomfort, life challenges—the cycle often plays out in the same way. We have a desire for change, but our fear of what might happen or the worry that we are somehow not enough can keep us stuck.

In my new book, The Courage Habit, I argue that when it comes to dealing with fear, we often go about it all wrong. Instead of seeing fear as bad and trying to get rid of it when it arises, we can choose to accept fear as part of the process of change and instead practice courage. This choice can help you to feel more emotionally resilient as you make life changes or go after big dreams.

Related: How Does A Man Know If He’s Courageous?

The courage habit

Though courage is often thought of as an inborn character trait, it’s actually a way of being and a practice that can be learned for coping with difficulty. In other words, courage can become a habit.

Usually, we think of habits as actions, like brushing your teeth or exercising. But habits also consist of our behavioral responses to different emotions. For many people, fear-based responses are the natural, habitual response to adversity, because our brains tend to seek the fastest, most efficient way to relieve stress when we feel it.

That means we rely on solutions that have provided short-term stress relief in the past—like procrastinating in response to feelings of self-doubt or putting perfectionism into overdrive (which eventually ends up sabotaging us through burnout).


Your brain likes predictability, and it’s primed to “reward” you for choosing familiar responses and routines. So, if you ditch the plan to go after that dream and instead choose what’s known and therefore safe, you’ll be “rewarded” as the brain relaxes.

How do you manage fear differently? You can understand that it’s part of the human condition and aim to work with it rather than against it.

Drawing from research on habit formation and stress reduction—and my own work with clients facing fear—I have discovered

Four useful strategies for dealing with fear and moving closer to a courageous life

1. Access the body

Fear shows up in the body, often as sweaty palms, a sick-feeling stomach, or a vague sense of discomfort. Once our bodies head into fear mode, we need a way to recognize the signs and work with what the feelings are telling us. A body-based practice can help.

Using focused breathing or body scans—both practices associated with mindful meditation—can help us tune into our body’s sensations without trying to change them or judge them. In this way, we can access our fear without rejecting it or being pulled into an old fear routine. That leaves us freer to better identify the source of the fear and pursue the things we want and live a more courageous life.

If mindfulness practices don’t cut it for you, you can also try dancing, running, yoga, stretching, hiking, or even sex. Just increasing your enjoyment and acceptance of your body can help you listen to it when it’s telling you something’s wrong.

Related: How Mindfulness Can Help You Let Go Of Past Hurts and Heal Yourself

2. Listen without attachment

Many of us who are stuck in fear have an inner critic, constantly feeding us misinformation about our abilities and telling us we are doomed to fail. Often, we’re not even aware of that voice. Or, if we are aware of it, we try strategies to quiet or get rid of it—like ignoring the critic entirely, placating it by trying to do things perfectly (so there won’t be anything for the critic to focus on), or attacking it directly by saying to ourselves, “I’m not going to listen to you—shut up and leave me alone!”

think for yourself

While these strategies can give us temporary relief, they don’t actually make the critic go away. Instead, we need to reframe the voice as a part of ourselves that’s trying to get our attention, and to learn to listen.

If we can take time to listen to our inner critic without attachment—without the need to ignore or accept what it is saying—we’re in a better position to learn from it. Expressive writing or working with a coach or therapist can help us to understand the origins of our critical thoughts and to glean helpful information without getting hijacked.

3. Reframe limiting stories

As humans, we make meaning out of our experiences by telling stories to ourselves about how the world operates. But here’s the important part: Those stories might not be objectively true. They are more like your personal lens on life, coloring your experiences just as if you were wearing sunglasses. Your stories have everything to do with how you see yourself and the world—whether you’re a victim or a survivor, whether an experience is dangerous or an opportunity, and whether you have the capacity to develop more courage or you are “just not very brave.”

Related: 11 Limiting Beliefs That Are Holding You Back In Life

It’s not wrong to adopt stories—everyone has internal assumptions to orient themselves in the world. But some stories are more helpful than others. For instance, we’ve probably all met people who tell themselves that “everyone is selfish and only out for themselves.” Because they see the world through that lens, they are suspicious of people’s motives, inclined to tally up people’s wrongs and have a “gotta look out for myself” attitude—which isn’t necessarily helpful.

Luckily, we can reframe limiting stories through various techniques—like challenging overly negative interpretations of our abilities or gaining perspective by looking at a difficult situation as an outsider or a close friend would—that can help us cope better with the stress that fear or anxiety inevitably brings.

Rather than seeing reframing as a “Pollyanna” approach that bypasses very real challenges in the world, reframing is about emotion regulation. It stops you from ruminating about what’s going wrong to the point of giving up. Reframes need not be wildly optimistic.

For example, instead of saying, “I can’t,” you might say, “I’m at least willing to try”; “This is too overwhelming!” can become “Let me slow down, and take it one step at a time, to get through this.” This reframing process, which involves positive self-talk, can help you see results in your life—including a greater sense of capability and more positive emotion and optimism, which lead to greater resilience and help you live a courageous life.

4. Create community

To truly live a courageous life, we need like-minded people around us who are also trying to honor the values of courage. Creating courageous communities gives us the support to face challenges. Sometimes our stories get in our way, and we need people who are doing similar work to help us see where we’re getting stuck or what we’re truly capable of.

Charles Duhigg, the author of The Power of Habit, writes, “For most people who overhaul their lives, there are no seminal moments or life-altering disasters. There are simply communities—sometimes of just one other person—who make change believable.” Making change is simply easier when we have support.

Related: Nunchi: How This Traditional Korean Concept Can Help Build Better Relationships

To apply this to living with more courage, we need to examine our relationships and distinguish those that are rooted simply inconvenience (such as meeting up with coworkers for a drink) from those where like-minded people share similar, courageous values such as kindness, vulnerability, optimism, and empathy. Relationships of convenience aren’t “bad,” but those other relationships are the ones that provide the most support to buffer you from the stress of taking a risk and going after big life changes.

Putting everything together

As you become more practiced with accessing the body, you’ll find it easier to recognize your fear patterns at work. As you tune in to your fear by listening without attachment, you’ll find it easier to see what your fear is rooted in, and then use practices such as reframing limiting stories. Integrating more courage-based relationships into your life will help you to both notice those times when you’re getting stuck in old fear patterns, and remember your bigger vision of stepping into more courage and emotional resilience.

The more you interrupt the old fear-based habits and replace fear-based responses with responses to boost courage, the more you create a “courage habit.” By living your life with courage, you’ll be more likely to make the changes that will lead to greater fulfillment—whether that’s embarking on a new relationship or job, or helping to save the world.

Are you ready to live a more courageous life?

Written by: Kate Swoboda
This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center.
Republished with permission.

Dealing With Fear Live Courageous Life Pin

Courageous Life Pin

— Share —

— About the Author —

Up Next

6 Simple Steps To ‘Bless And Release’ The Past

'Bless And Release' The Past With Easy Steps

Pain and loss are inevitable companions in one’s journey through life. The mantra “bless and release” yields six transformative steps to heal and free oneself from emotional baggage.

When a relationship ends, we lose someone dear to us or our careers stutter, these are situations that can make us feel downcast and stuck.

But such brooding over the past only retards our path to recovery. On the other hand, adopting the “blessing and releasing” motto helps in finding solace and accepting life as it is.

Bless and Release Meaning

Up Next

How To Claim Your Strengths? 3 Steps to Embody Your Value and Strengths

How To Claim Your Strengths? Steps To Powerful Confidence

The secret to having a powerful inner confidence is knowing how to claim your strengths. It is only when you embody your value and strengths, you will be able to empower yourself and be the very best version of yourself.


There is a difference in inner and outer confidence. You must know and strengthen your sense of who you are.

Who you are is an evolving puzzle made of up multiple and contrasting pieces, not one static phrase.

When you can name and walk proudly with your strengths, you accept your weaknesses as a part of who you are.

I turned 20 in jail. I

Up Next

8 Essential Tips For Learning New Skills: Mastering New Horizons

Essential Tips For Learning New Skills With Confidence

Learning new skills can sometimes feel like an intimidating journey, doesn’t it? If you have ever felt stuck or didn’t know what to do while learning a new skill, then you’ve come to the right place. This article is going to provide you with some valuable tips if you are wondering how to learn new skills.


Setting a clear goal and breaking a skill into smaller components can help people learn new skills.

Practice for new skills should be thoughtful, slow, and deliberate rather than rushed.

A growth mindset is the belief that abilities are developed with effort.

Up Next

10 Sources Of A Courageous Mindset

Sources Of A Courageous Mindset

Having a courageous mindset is an underrated superpower. Courage and bravery can take us a long way in life. But what are the factors that play an important role in having courage? Let’s find that out, shall we?


Courage is not about being fearless.

Courage is the capacity to exercise control over one’s life.

Courage allows one to overcome personal limitations (like fear and anxiety) and pursue a full life.

Courage is something that we want for ourselves and admire in others. One of the worst criticisms in the world is to be called a coward (Kateb, 2004). C

Up Next

How To Exit Your Lazy Girl Era? 8 Steps To Bid Farewell To The Lazy You

How To Exit Your Lazy Girl Era? Steps To Say Goodbye

Are you tired of feeling stuck in the “lazy girl” era? Do you find yourself constantly being held back by the demons of procrastination and struggling to break free from its clutches? Well, you have come to the right place, because today we are going to talk about how to exit your lazy girl era.

We are going to explore eight effective strategies that can really help you say goodbye to your lazy girl era for good and be productive. So, if you’re ready to kick laziness to the curb and unleash your inner go-getter, keep reading and get ready to transform your life.

Related: Kaizen: A Japanese Technique for Overcoming Laziness

Up Next

6 Inspiring Lessons From Spiritual Leaders On Mental Health

Spiritual Leaders On Mental Health: Inspiring Lessons

Amid the hustle and bustle of modern life, stress becomes a constant companion, that’s why learning from spiritual leaders on mental health is more important than ever!

Many people turn to spiritual leaders as their guides in this journey, seeking wisdom and solace from different traditions.

With centuries of experience to back them up, these leaders have plenty to say about nurturing the soul and building inner peace. Here are some things that they’ve said about spirituality and mental health.

Let us take a look at them and gain some wisdom!

6 Lessons From Spiritual Leaders On Mental Health

Up Next

Focus Like A Monk: What Is Monk Mode And 10 Ways It Can Help You Succeed In Life 

What is Monk Mode and How Can It Transform Your Life?

Do you find it hard to focus on a task? Do you get easily distracted? Not sure how to enter a flow state and do your best? If you are looking for ways to focus amidst the chaos and find some inner peace, then let me introduce you to the fascinating concept of “Monk Mode.” What is monk mode, you ask?

If you have been on social media lately, you must have heard about monk mode, a concept that has been gaining a lot of attention on TikTok. Based on the mindset and lifestyle of disciplined monks, this process allows us to reach our peak productivity.

So let us delve into the depths of monk mode, explore the myriad monk mode benefits, and provide practical tips on how to get into monk mode to transform your life.

What is M