It might be your mindset which is damaging the healthy growth of your relationship.
As I close in on the two year anniversary of starting this website, I have had countless conversations with people who are in all phases of life. Men, women, boys, girls, single, married, divorced, and everything in between.
When you really stop to listen and pay attention, there are many lessons to be taken away from these interactions. Insights into the thoughts and feelings of others, as well as the ability to reflect on your own.
Some of these include varying degrees of what could be considered self-sabotage. Of course, many of us have been jaded along the way, taken advantage of, taken for granted, or unappreciated. This can permeate a new relationship, as we have a hard time letting go of the damage from the old.
It is important that we stay positive and true to ourselves in order to find a happy relationship.
5 damaging mindsets that could be keeping you from finding the happiness you deserve.
1. You are expecting to find the ‘perfect relationship.’
While, needless to say, the perfect relationship doesn’t actually exist, I feel that many people are becoming less and less likely to be willing to put the required work and effort into building something alongside a teammate. They are walking away at the first sign of difficulty, and it is preventing deep, meaningful relationships from actually developing.
No matter how easy and carefree myself or anyone else makes it sound like a relationship is, there are always going to be challenges you face.
But, that’s what makes you and your partner stronger together. It’s what bonds you together as you overcome these obstacles as a team. It is what it means to be truly committed to the person you love.
2. You have not yet recognized your own self worth.
Relationships are not only about finding the right person to be with, they are also about being the right person to be with. For many of us, we do not just wake up one day and instantly become that person. We need to put in the time and effort to develop ourselves accordingly.
The bottom line is that “we accept the love we think we deserve,” and you get to decide what you deserve. Someone’s inability to see your value does not make you any less valuable, that’s why it’s called self worth. It’s up to you, not them.
If you do not feel like you truly deserve to be happy, you will always find yourself sabotaging the situations which can bring it to you. Stop being the victim, and start being the victor.
3. You are actually scared of finding happiness.
I remember a long time ago people used to talk to me about the concept of being scared of becoming successful. I never really understood what they meant, how could you be scared of success? How could you be scared of happiness?
Both success and happiness require risk. They require much more risk than mediocrity or just settling. Taking the safe path through the woods. Living a ‘beige’ life. And, it can be scary. It can be scary to think of falling for someone who does not fall for you in return. It can be scary to imagine giving too much to someone without them giving in return. But, without risk, there is no reward.