Skip to content

How To Cultivate Your Sense of Purpose

Cultivate Your Sense of Purpose

Finding your sense of purpose takes a little bit of inner strength, a little bit of self-love, and a little bit of effort on your part.

“The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for.” ―Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Does the world seem to be getting more complex by the day? Stress, and anxiety, are at an all-time high. And the world seems to be getting more divided every day. When all of this happens, it’s easy to feel bad about life, to live with a pessimistic mindset, and to feel like totally throwing in the towel.

When watching the news, it is pretty easy to get overwhelmed by all of the problems of the world. Having the urge to pull the sheets over your head in the morning instead of facing the day is understandable.

It seems like the only two states of being that are available these days are either anxious or numb. Feeling stuck, alone, and like no one will understand you. However, this is not the first time in history that humans have felt this way. History is riddled with all kinds of hardship and opportunities to be pessimistic. Even so, we have progressed and overcome challenges.

And even though it doesn’t seem that way, it has never been more appropriate than right now to be optimistic about the future than at any time in human history.

Related: How To Find A Purpose in Life and Give Your Life Meaning?

We are more connected, more abundant and more available for positive change than ever before.

It is hard to see the good when the bad is so painful and exploded on the headlines. It is hard to be optimistic in the midst of so much doubt and worry. It’s easier to be pulled into the drama, living with the idea that to be alive is to be in pain. However, there is so much more to life, than the bad and the ugly. So much more beyond our hurt.

There are so many tools, and skills you can learn to pull yourself out of the dumpster. However, there is one thing that if you cultivate this within yourself, you will become happy once again.

This is realizing your Purpose. When you find and live your life’s purpose, everything changes.

Sense of Purpose
Sense of Purpose

Purpose is what will keep you going even in the hardest of times. It’s the thing that keeps you powerful. Purpose is the one thing that changes everything else. And purpose isn’t what you might think it is. Many people think that purpose in life is something that you do, like your job or the role you play in your family. Being a parent. Being an accountant. Being a sister or brother. Being a business owner.

None of those things are actually your purpose in life. However, they can be an expression of your life’s purpose. Purpose is an internal emotional state, that you cultivate within yourself and then express it to the world. Purpose is a state of mind, not a specific thing that you do.

And, there are three skills that are helpful when living a life of Purpose:

1. Emotional Awareness – how do I feel now and how do I want to feel?
2. Emotional Intelligence – knowing what to do to feel the way I want to feel.
3. Emotional regulation – doing what it takes to emotionally regulate myself day to day and moment to moment.

The key to success is not as difficult as you might think.

Related: 4 Ways to Find The Purpose Of Your Life

It is the ability to have emotional awareness, and intelligence. I think that emotional regulation is becoming one of the most important skills that you can learn today to be able to not only find your purpose but thrive in it from now on.

Make sure you are surrounded by the people, environments and mentors who can guide you to learn and embody these skills.


Written By Ilene Strauss Cohen
Originally Appeared On Doctor Ilene

When you are searching for your sense of purpose, do not think it has got anything to do with your goal-based achievements, even though you should be proud of everything you have achieved till now. You know that you have finally found your sense of purpose when you understand emotional intelligence and emotional awareness like never before!

Cultivate Your Sense of Purpose pin

Dr. Ilene S. Cohen

Dr. Ilene S. Cohen, Ph.D. is a psychotherapist, professor, and blogger. She is also the author of the popular self-help guide, When It’s Never About You, as well as co-author (with Rabbi Aryeh Weinstein) of It’s Within You. She’s a regular contributor to Psychology Today, and her work has appeared in Psych Central and Tiny Buddha, along with many other online publications. After graduating from the University of Tampa with a B.A. in Psychology, Dr. Ilene obtained her Master’s and Ph.D. degrees in Marriage and Family Therapy from Nova Southeastern University. Both her books and her practice are fueled by her passion for helping people achieve their goals, build a strong sense of self, and lead meaningful lives. She is also guided by a passion for service and lends her time to multiple charitable causes around the world. Dr. Ilene resides in Miami, Florida with her husband and two young daughters.View Author posts

Leave a Reply

Up Next

13 Habits Of Highly Intelligent People That Make Them Truly Unique

Things Highly Intelligent People Do Differently

What do you think of when you imagine a highly intelligent person? Someone who is super smart and knows a lot about everything. Right? But being highly intelligent has nothing to do with having a high IQ.

Intelligence comes in many forms and most highly intelligent individuals don’t even know how smart they actually are.

Highly intelligent people think, act and behave differently. They approach the world differently and possess certain qualities and habits that make them truly unique.

Do you think you are highly intelligent? Let’s find out.

Here are 13 things highly intelligent people do differently

1. They are always

Up Next

How To Identify A Delta Male? 30 Signs Of The Common Man

Delta Male Signs

Life can be challenging as a man. And for women in relationships, not understanding their male partners well can make things more complicated. As all men are not created equal, it is crucial to know where a man stands in the socio sexual hierarchy. Enter the delta male.

As alpha, beta and sigma male personalities are already popular, today we are going to explore the lesser known, yet extremely common, delta male personality.

What is a delta male?

The delta male is the common, everyday man who can be f

Up Next

How To Improve Your Relationship With Yourself

Improve Relationship With Yourself

Having a healthy relationship with yourself is extremely important when it comes to living a happy and content life. Let's find out what you can do to improve your relationship with yourself.

Key Points:

Many people would be glad to work on self-improvement but believe they don't have enough time for it.

A change in mindset can help them take advantage of the time they already spend transitioning between locations or tasks.

These transition times can be used to check in with themselves and gain a better understanding of how they're feeling.

The thought of adding or removing a habit fr

Up Next

Feeling Down? 5 Reasons Why You Feel Like Shit And What To Do About It

Feelings that make you feel like shit

Feeling down? Me too, buddy. The keyword here is ‘feeling’. Feelings are weird, if you ask me. Emotions make life complicated. It ruins relationships, families and even careers. It makes you feel like shit and like hitting your head against the wall. But that’s not completely true, is it? 

Not all emotions pull you down. After all, who would we be if we didn’t feel anything? Emotions make us who we are and it adds meaning to our lives. The secret lies in identifying which negative emotions make you feel like shit and knowing how to deal with them.

Dear negative feelings, thanks for making me feel like shit 

Yes, I know we should experience the whole spectrum of human emotions

Up Next

How to Tame and Silence Your Inner Critic: 5 Ways

Ways Tame And Silence Your Inner Critic

“Turn down the volume of your negative inner voice and create a nurturing inner voice to take it’s place. When you make a mistake, forgive yourself, learn from it, and move on instead of obsessing about it. Equally important, don’t allow anyone else to dwell on your mistakes or shortcomings or to expect perfection from you.” ― Beverly Engel. This one quote perfectly shows why it's important to silence your inner critic.

Do you have a love/hate relationship with your inner monologue? You know, the voice that can motivate you to press on or stop you dead in your tracks and make you feel a few inches tall.

It is the same voice that attempts to protect you from shame, embarrassment, or making a mistake. If not tamed and regulated, this voice morphs into an intense critic, one that can sabotage and stagnate if it gains too much power.

<