Also, take the time to patiently talk about what is not going so well. Honestly consider how each of you can take steps to shore up weak areas in the relationship. Have this talk once a month. It’s important: Put it on your calendar.
Lastly, give one another grace. Let the little things go.
4. Marriage is somewhat like an investment account.
The more you put into building a strong connection with your spouse—showing kindness, support, affection, and respect—the more the emotional bank account grows. Then, when you miss the mark (forget an anniversary, or impulsively purchase that must-have item without your spouse’s approval), there will be sufficient “emotional funds” to cover the loss your relationship sustains. However, this approach must not be used as a ploy to allow for misbehavior—that just comes across as manipulative.
Be intentional about building intimacy, good memories, shared successes, and so forth. Be a proactive investor in building a strong emotional bank account.
5. Love is a verb, not a noun.
Most people report that one of the important reasons they chose to get married was that they were in love with their spouse. They had deep feelings of admiration and affection for each other.
Feelings, however, will wax and wane. There will be times in a marriage when these feelings are very weak, or altogether missing. Some people, faced with these weakened feelings, will then ask, “Why should I stay married if I don’t love my partner any longer?”
Someone who has this view of love may very well end up with multiple marriages. Feelings are fickle things; do not base your marriage on the unstable foundation of feelings.
“A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.” – Unknown
Recognize instead that love involves more than feelings. That at its heart, love is a commitment to do what is best for another and that this commitment then needs to be expressed in daily actions that are supportive, affirming, and respectful.
When this approach is taken consistently, the feelings of love that may wane at times will eventually return, mature, and root more deeply in the relationship.
Marriage is not a bed of roses like many movies and books lead us to believe. It can get really difficult to handle at times but don’t give up. Keep in mind these core truths of marriage, and you will be able to handle every hiccup easily.
If you want to know more about the core truths of marriage, check out this video below:
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