I know that this seems inconceivable right now but it is really important that you both when you are ready, make an effort to enjoy each other’s company.
There was a time when you were in love when there were many things that you enjoyed doing together. These things connected you and helped make your love stronger.
I have a client who genuinely enjoys being with his partner but still struggles with accepting the affair. Last time we talked he did say to me, very clearly, that he and his wife were still good friends and that gave him hope that they could work through everything and reconnect.
So, if you feel like you can, with authenticity, strive to do the things together that used to make you feel connected. Picnics, trips to a bookstore, a musical event or a hike – anything else that will make you both remember that once you liked each other and that there is hope that you will again.
I know that the idea of touching your partner after their betrayal is inconceivable but it is an essential part of building a healthy relationship after infidelity.
I am not talking about sex. I am talking about the simple things – hand-holding, hugging, brushing up against each other in the kitchen. Touch is the thing that can keep couples together more than anything.
Makeup sex is a perfect example of this. After an argument, many couples like to have sex. They do because the physical connection draws them back together. The sex connects them in a way that words can not and helps settle the argument and the hard feelings left afterward.
Again, I am not saying that you need to have sex with your person right away but I am encouraging you to hug them. They say that a 10-second hug every day can help a couple keep their relationship healthy and strong.
It is possible to have a healthy relationship after infidelity.
Infidelity rocks our world in a way that almost nothing else can. And believing that you can get past it and be happy again might seem impossible from where you sit now. But you can do it!
If you and your partner are both determined if you are able to communicate in a healthy way if you are able to acknowledge and accept the other’s feelings, if you seek out things that you enjoy doing together and if you can explore touching each other again, you have an excellent chance of having that healthy relationship that you seek.
I know it seems hard right now but I promise you, you can do it!