After an entire year of being together, you end things with him only to see his “Facebook official” relationship status pop up with another girl — the same boy who said labels don’t exist, mind you! So, what’s going on? Well, you might be the placeholder in a relationship that you thought was fully reciprocated all along.
And it really was just a charity case from him, hoping that you’d be the one to call it quits so he’d feel less guilty. That’s what it means to be in a placeholder relationship.
When you’re in it, there’s no way for you to see the reality of what position you’ve put yourself in. So, if truth is what you seek and an unrealistic future dream isn’t enough for you anymore, here are eight proving signs of a placeholder relationship.
8 signs you might be the placeholder in a relationship
1. He doesn’t feel emotionally connected to you
One of the signs you are in a placeholder relationship is that the emotional connection between you and him feels shallow.
The conversations stay primarily surface-level like “how was your day” or “what did you do?“, and deep feelings or personal matters never come out organically.
It feels like something is missing in that emotional bond that should grow over time.
Read more here: When A Good Girl Gets Played: 11 Things That Happens
2. He avoids talking about the future
If your partner can’t talk about long-term plans with you, it may be because he doesn’t see you as someone he wants to build a future with but just a placeholder girlfriend.
He will never want to talk about serious things in the relationship and will always focus on the present.
3. You (always) adjust your schedule to his
One of the signs of a placeholder relationship is an endless amount of effort from your side and not a single effort from him.
If your partner’s schedule always comes first, then it means you are fitting into their life rather than having one together. A healthy relationship respects each other’s time and commitments. And if you relate to this, then it means that he doesn’t value you or your time!
Read more here: 11 Things That Make You A Pineapple Girl
4. His friends act weird around you
Pay attention to how your boyfriend’s friends act when you are around them. If they seem uncomfortable and start acting differently, it might mean that they know something you don’t.
Friends often reflect the sincerity of a relationship, so if they’re acting strangely for no reason, there might be something up.
5. Your relationship with him hasn’t progressed yet
Relationships naturally evolve over time and if yours seems stuck in one place without going anywhere else, it may be worth a conversation with him about it.
Being in a placeholder relationship oftentimes involves not being able to grow or move forward, it’s like you’re stuck in a relationship limbo.
6. They’re still hung up on an ex
One of the signs you are in a placeholder relationship is that your partner constantly talks about or mentions an ex in any way.
You may be just a rebound or filling in for some emotional void they have while using these words like “I love you” as bait!
7. You’ve never met their family
Meeting each other’s family is such an important step in every relationship (at least we think so) and if he hasn’t brought you home then that’s a huge red flag!
You could be a placeholder for someone else or something else. You deserve better than that! And he needs to go home!
8. You never feel included in his plans
Every single person deserves to feel loved, important, and included in their partner’s life, even if it comes down to casual activities or events!
If you are constantly left out of important things then I hate to break it to you but…you could be in a placeholder relationship.
Read more here: “I’m Not Like Other Girls”: 5 Telltale Signs of A Pick Me Girl
It’s normal to want to play a big role in your partner’s life, and you shouldn’t settle for less. Being a placeholder girlfriend means — settling. Don’t do it!
Remember, communication is key in any relationship. If you notice these signs of a placeholder relationship, have an open and honest conversation with your partner about the way you feel and what concerns you have.
And the quickest way to move on? Get out before it’s too late!