How To Not Get Played? 9 Dating Rules Every Woman Should Know

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How To Not Get Played By A Guy? Important Dating Rules

Modern dating can be complicated. So how to not get played by a guy? Well, women Who do these 9 things don’t get their heartbroken!

The only way to find love is to date with an open heart. But I know what you’ve been through.

Youโ€™re tired of investing time and energy in the wrong men, only to end up frustrated, hurt, and empty-handed again and again. Youโ€™ve worked hard to finally find peace and a sense of happiness in your life. And thereโ€™s no way youโ€™re going to let someone come into your life and mess it all up.

And yet โ€ฆ you donโ€™t want to give up on LOVE.

You want to meet the RIGHT man โ€” someone who makes you feel challenged, inspired, and adored. But youโ€™re scared.

After everything youโ€™ve been through, youโ€™re not sure how to date without getting played or wasting valuable time.

How do you put yourself “out there” and open up to love, but also protect your heart and the peace youโ€™ve worked so hard to cultivate in your life?

The answer? Openness coupled with boundaries. Yes, it’s possible!

How To Not Get Played By A Guy? 9 Dating Commandments for Women

1. Avoid guys with obviouslyย low self-esteem.

If he doesnโ€™t love and value himself, he probably can’t love and value you in a healthy way. Guys with low self-esteem are not safe to date.

Find someone with high self-esteem.ย This is so important.

How To Not Get Played? 9 Best Dating Rules For Women
How To Avoid Getting Played When Dating A Man

Related: 8 Signs He Has Low Self-Esteem, And Why You Need To Move On

2. Make sure his values regarding family and relationshipsย match yours.

Take a close look at the life he has created. Does he have healthy long-lasting relationships with friends and family? Does he have his finances and responsibilities in order?

Does he have a good relationship with the ex and kids? If not, then he’s not safe to date. Make sure his life is running smoothly before you invite him into yours.

3. Donโ€™t accept his bad behavior.

Think about the behaviors that hurt you in past relationships, and write them down. Was your ex passive-aggressive, negative, critical, non-communicative, or cold?

If your current beau is repeating some of the same behaviors, ask him to stop. If he canโ€™t (or wonโ€™t), move on. You deserve to be treated beautifully.

how to not get played
How To Not Get Played? 9 Dating Rules Every Woman Should Know

4. Pay attention to what he DOES (not what he SAYS).

His actions showย thatย he cares about you, more so than his words.

Does he make time for you and stay connected when he’s not with you? Does he make promises and then follow through?

A boyfriend whoโ€™s thoughtful, caring, generous, consistent, and kind will someday be a husband whoโ€™s thoughtful, caring, generous, consistent, and kind.

5. Make sure he includes you in all aspects of his life.

Over time, he should start to include you in every aspect of his life, without exception. He welcomes you in his home and office. He invites you to spend time with his friends and family. And he’s proud to show you off! 

If heโ€™s excited to have you in his life and wants to include you in every aspect of it, heโ€™s a keeper and safe to date.

6. Be veryย sure heโ€™s INTO you.

If a manโ€™s into you, heโ€™ll make you a priority. Heโ€™ll ask to spend time with you consistently, and heโ€™ll tell you what he likes about you. It means he is safe to date.

You wonโ€™t have to wonder how he feels or wait anxiously for his call.

Bottom line โ€” if heโ€™s into you, youโ€™ll know it. And if heโ€™s not, go find someone who is.

Related: 8 Stupid Ways A Guy Acts When He Likes You And What It Might Mean For You

7. Advocate for yourself.

If something is bothering you, tell him. If he dismisses your feelings or gets defensive, thatโ€™s a red flag.

Only date someone who’s able to assess his own behavior and make changes when necessary. Date a man who owns up to his mistakes and who values your feelings (and do the same for him).

8. Wait to have sex (the right one will wait!).

Sex is awesome, and Iโ€™m all for it. But when youโ€™re serious about finding “the one”, itโ€™s a good idea to wait. Waiting until youโ€™re in a relationship gives the two of you time to create emotional intimacy first, which is a smart strategy.

how to not get played
How To Not Get Played By A Guy? 9 Best Dating Rules For Women

If the man youโ€™re dating is genuinely interested in you, heโ€™ll wait until youโ€™re ready. If he’s more concerned aboutย sex andย not you, then he doesn’t respect that boundary.

Related: 11 Ways To Spot A Keeper From Player In One Date: Tips From An Expert Celebrity Profiler

9. Make sure you feel relaxed and happy when you’re with him.

If you feel stressed, anxious or have to walk on eggshells when you’re dating, something’s wrong and is not safe to date. Trust your gut and keep track of how you feel. If there are more bad days than good ones, it might be time to move on.

When youโ€™re in the RIGHT relationship, youโ€™ll feel happy, relaxed and comfortable. I hear this from happy couples all the time!

With strong boundaries and high expectations, you’ll know when it’s safe to open your heart. And when you’re all in โ€” when you’re authentic, generous, warm and loving โ€” thatโ€™s when LOVE will show up. Thatโ€™s when the magic will happen.

Michelle Jacoby is an award-winning matchmaker and dating coach. To discover the mistakes that will kill your chances of finding love, download Michelle’s FREE ebook “The 12 Mistakes That Will Kill Your Chances Of Finding Mr. Right”.


Originally appeared on Your tango
Reprinted with permission from the author
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How To Not Get Played? 9 Dating Rules Every Woman Should Know
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How To Avoid Getting Played When Dating A Man
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How To Not Get Played? 9 Dating Rules Every Woman Should Know

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