Toxic Texting Behaviors in couples that are relationship red flags.
You keep checking your smartphone every other second as your friends notice you are being twitchier than usual. No texts. No calls. Nothing. It’s like he’s ignoring you deliberately. You wonder if he’s busy and whether he’s had time to read your text. So you text him again trying to make things right once again. You apologize for everything even though it was clearly his fault. You just want the fight to end. As you notice your message has been “read” your anxiety shoots up and then you see him go offline. Still no reply. He’s still angry at you although he doesn’t really have any reason for it. Now you start feeling guilty and ashamed as your self esteem takes a hit.
Is it simply a misunderstanding? Or are you in a toxic relationship?
Texting behavior in couples can give you several warning signs of a toxic relationship.
Understanding texting styles in relationships
“Texting is a fundamentally sneaky form of communication, which we should despise, but it is such a boon we don’t care. We are all sneaks now.” – Lynne Truss
Several studies have found that texting can lead to a lot of stress and anxiety, especially among romantic couples. Research has revealed that texting can actually make your relationship better or worse based on how you and your partner text each other. When it comes to romantic relationships, experts have found that what matters is how much “text compatible” you are with your partner, instead of how often you text each other.
Although it may be an effective way to communicate, texting can, in fact, be a hindrance in developing a meaningful relationship with your significant other. This is more true for toxic partners and relationships. The texting behavior of your partner can reveal a lot about their mentality, personality and their true feelings towards you as these can help you identify signs of a toxic relationship.
Toxic texting behaviors
“Nothing stings quite like an unanswered text message.” – Paula Stokes
Do they text you all the time asking where you are? Do they want to track your location? Do they expect you to reply immediately? Do they want to know the password to your device? Personal space is crucial in any healthy relationship. However, toxic partners tend to cross all boundaries and invade your private digital space. They may be motivated by their own insecurities or bad experiences in their past relationships. But that does not mean you have to put up with it.
They may give you a lot of “reasons” (read excuses) to access your device and check your texts and call logs and even tweak it to their benefit without you even realizing it. Although you may not have nothing to hide, they will accuse you of cheating until you comply with their demands of handing them your phone. While at other times, they may be a bit more discreet and say you’re getting addicted to your phone so they will ‘lovingly’ take your phone away from you. All these are toxic behaviors and attempts to control and abuse you.
Today your smartphone can be used as a weapon not only to access all your private information but also to control, manipulate, abuse, threaten, defame, confuse and isolate you. In healthy relationships, partners may willingly share access to their devices for better transparency in relationships. However, if you feel compelled to do so, then these are clearly signs of a toxic relationship and an insecure, manipulative partner.
7 toxic texting behaviors that are relationship red flags
“The interesting thing about text is that, as a medium, it separates you from the person you are speaking with, so you can act differently from how you would in person or even on the phone.” – Aziz Ansari
Any toxic relationship has certain warning signs, but there are several ways unhealthy relationship behaviors can get expressed through texting. From being drowned with constant texts to being compelled to show your your inbox to your partner, here are a few toxic texting behaviors that you need to look out for.