How to survive a toxic family that will surely ruin your enjoyment during the holidays? Do you stay quiet and just take it all in to not disturb the peace and festivities, or do you confront them and call them out on their nonsense? Spending the holidays with a toxic family is challenging, to say the least.
“People will always notice the change in your attitude towards them. But they will never notice it’s their behavior which made you change.”
Thanksgiving is around the corner and lets us face it: it’s time for those special family gatherings. No matter how much we love it or we hate it, we have to be a part of it.
All of us have some relatives in our lives who add nothing but negativity. But what can be done? We can’t banish the behavior of family and we can’t avoid these gatherings either.
Toxic family members and their toxicity affect us and these gatherings often become painful for us. Some of us hate attending these family gatherings because of such people.
But this time, let’s not escape from them. Instead of missing out on the fun and merriment, we should be there for the gatherings and prepare ourselves so that we don’t get affected by the negativity of these family members. So, what should you do when it comes to dealing with toxic family during the holidays and how can you cope around toxic family during the holidays?
8 Tips To Survive A Toxic Family
1. You need to understand that your happiness is in your hands.
If you are wondering how to survive a toxic family, this is the most important thing you need to keep in mind. One of the characteristics of these kinds of family members is making you feel bad about yourself. They will not leave an inch to comment on your life and make you question your doings.
But as long as you are happy with yourself, what’s the point of listening to them? You don’t need their validation to be happy. Right?
2. Don’t get into fights.
Relatives who don’t nurture goodwill for you will provoke you to engage in fights with them. Avoid that. If they are saying some bad stuff about you, just ignore it.
They would not necessarily get into physical abuse. Even if they do, there will be others around you and their true colors will get revealed.
They will try their best to instigate you. Just remember, no matter how much they are hurting you, you should not start the fight. If you initiate the fight, you will be thrown in a bad light and that’s what they want.
3. Ignore them.
One of the best tips for dealing with toxic family members is this. One of the best policies to stay away from negative people is to ignore them. Don’t waste your time and energy thinking about the rubbish they are spreading about you.
You know what you are. Your acts and deeds are there to speak for you. Don’t let their negativity affect your mood.
4. Have proper planning.
Make sure you have proper planning before you plunge into the gathering. Keep a list of to-do things with the people you love.
Don’t include the toxic family members in your list. You are sorted now. You will meet them with others but you will have other things to do.
5. Don’t expect from others.
How to survive a toxic family: have zero expectations from them. Even if they are family members, don’t expect anything remotely nice or kind from them. People with negative feelings usually fake a lot and pretend to change but actually, they don’t.
Being a family member does not mean they will be all good to you. So, don’t expect it. If they are good to you, then there’s nothing like it. Don’t feel bad if they are not good. Learn to live with yourself and be happy about it.
6. Set your limits.
You might be having a bad phase in your life but you don’t need to share that with everyone. Set your limits and disclose your secrets, weaknesses, and vulnerabilities to the ones you can really trust.
Don’t let everyone interfere in your life. This will protect you from getting used by toxic family members.
7. Always appreciate and be giving.
Forgiveness is difficult to give and holidays are the best time for it. Always appreciate the positivity in your family members, be giving, and forgive them if they have hurt you.
But do remember, that forgiving doesn’t mean letting them in your life. Maintain the distance but don’t cherish negative feelings towards them.
8. Give yourself time to heal.
It’s natural for you to get hurt by the negativity of some family members. Give yourself time to heal. Nobody told you that you need to be best friends with them.
Take your time, allow yourself to deal with your pain, and then work towards a peaceful mind and soul. Don’t let toxic people control you or your thoughts and happiness.
Be happy for the ones you love and the ones who love you. Family gatherings are the best time when you can enjoy yourself without worrying about anything else.
If you can deal with the negativity of toxic family members, you will absolutely be fine. Good luck and happy holidays!