“People will always notice the change in your attitude towards them. But they will never notice it’s their behavior which made you change.”
Thanksgiving is around the corner and lets face it: it’s time for those special family gatherings. No matter how much we love it or we hate it, we have to be a part of it. All of us have some relatives in our lives who add nothing but negativity. But what can be done? We can’t banish the behavior family; we can’t avoid these gatherings either.
Their toxicity affects us and these gatherings often become painful for us. Some of us hate attending these family gatherings because of such people. But this time, let’s not escape from them. Instead of missing out on the fun and merriment, we should be there for the gatherings and prepare ourselves so that we don’t get affected by the negativity of these family members.
Here are 8 ways you can deal with this:
1. You need to understand that your happiness is in your hands:
One of the characteristics of these family members is making you feel bad about yourself. They will not leave an inch to comment on your life and make you question your doings. But as long as you are happy with yourself, what’s the point of listening to them? You don’t need their validation to be happy. Right?
2. Don’t get into fights:
Relatives who don’t nurture goodwill for you will provoke you to engage in fights with them. Avoid that. If they are saying some bad stuff about you, just ignore. They would not necessarily get into physical abuse. Even if they do, there will be others around you and their true colours will get revealed. They will try their best to instigate you. Just remember, no matter how much they are hurting you, you should not start the fight. If you initiate the fight, you will be thrown in a bad light and that’s what they want.
3. Ignore them:
One of the best policies to stay away from negative people is to ignore them. Don’t waste your time and energy thinking the rubbish they are spreading about you. You know what you are. Your acts and deeds are there to speak for you. Don’t let their negativity affect your mood.
4. Have a proper planning:
Make sure you have a proper planning before you plunge into the gathering. Keep a list of to-do things with the people you love. Don’t include the toxic family members in your list. You are sorted now. You will meet them with others but you will have other things to do.
5. Don’t expect from others:
Even if they are family members, don’t expect from them. People with negative feelings usually fake to change but actually they don’t. Being a family member does not mean they will be all good to you. So, don’t expect. If they are good to you, then there’s nothing like it. Don’t feel bad if they are not good. Learn to live with yourself and be happy about it.
(6) Set your limits:
You might be having a bad phase in your life but you don’t need to share that with everyone. Set your limits and disclose your secrets, weaknesses, and vulnerabilities to the ones you can really trust. Don’t let everyone interfere in your life. This will protect you from getting used by the toxic family members.
(7) Always appreciate and be giving:
Forgiveness is difficult to give and holidays are the best time for it. Always appreciate the positivity in your family members, be giving and forgive them if they have hurt you. But do remember, that forgiving doesn’t mean letting them in your life. Maintain the distance but don’t cherish negative feelings towards them.
(8) Give yourself time to heal:
It’s obvious for you to get hurt by the negativity of some family members. Give yourself time to heal. Nobody told you that you need to be best friends with them. Take your time, allow yourself to get rid of your hurt and then be at peace with their positivity.