When it comes to getting a guy to commit to a relationship, many women can’t seem to crack the code.
As most of us have noticed, there are two types of men: Behind curtain #1 is the type of guy who is absolutely smitten with his girlfriend — he puts her on a pedestal, treats her like a queen, and places her happiness above his own. And behind curtain #2 is the type who’s labeled as a “commitment-phobe” — he doesn’t appear to enjoy being in a relationship, acting as if his commitment is of the involuntary kind.
But while most women think that the second type of guy is in the majority, statistics actually say otherwise.
In fact, a study by Match.com found that 95 percent of men openly admit to seeing marriage as one of their ultimate life goals.
So if this is what 95 percent of them seem to want, how can you get a guy to commit and actually fall in love with you?
It all comes down to how a man views commitment. To a guy, it’s like cracking a combination lock; if the numbers don’t line up, he’ll be emotionally distant and unavailable, rather than all in. He might even come up with several one-liner excuses that women undoubtedly find frustrating: “I need to focus on my career,” “I just need space,” or, “I’m just not ready for a relationship right now.”
But these one-liners aren’t lies. He really believes what he’s saying because the “numbers” of his commitment code aren’t lining up.
In other words, when he says, “I’m just not ready for a relationship right now,” what he really means is, “I’m just not ready for a relationship with you.”
While it hurts to hear this, understanding how to get a guy to commit — and why and how he chooses to finally take the plunge — can save you heartache and help you understand men.
The truth is, when he finally comes across that one woman who creates the right sequence of “numbers” to unlock his commitment combination, he’ll feel compelled to hang onto her. He’ll commit to a relationship because he doesn’t want to risk losing her.
So, now we know commitment isn’t some sort of man allergy. What you have to do is learn how to crack his commitment code and get your guy to commit — and eventually fall in love with you.
Easier said than done, of course, considering the average man isn’t great at communicating his emotional needs. That’s where I come in!
Here are five things guys (won’t tell you they) need before they’ll commit to a relationship and start to fall in love with you.
1. He needs you to desire him.
One of the keys to learning how to make your man happy is basic, animalistic desire. In the pit of his stomach, he needs to want you, long for you, yearn for you. He needs to miss you when you’re not around and he needs to feel a pang of lust when he hasn’t seen you for some time.
This desire is created through the play of opposites. He’ll crave you and then he catches you; he’ll miss you and then falls into you; he’ll lust for you and then you’ll surrender to him. It’s the creating and the release of tension over and over again.
The way you create this tension is through your sexuality — tease him and then give in, playfully run from him and then allow him to capture you, add levity and spontaneity to his life, give him lustful stares and then leave the room, send him sexy notes during the day, grab him and kiss him unexpectedly. In summation, use your powerful feminine qualities to contrast his serious and calculated masculine nature.
2. He needs your respect.
Respect is a cardinal virtue; it is the foundation of any relationship that endures and stands the test of time. Respect can help re-ignite a relationship long after the flame of love and lust has sputtered. Many men marry the woman who respects him, even over the woman who loves him.
Men may sleep with, talk to, and care about the woman they love (and lust), but often love only isn’t all they need.