Have you heard of the 5 C’s of a relationship?
Relationships can sometimes be really hard work, but if you are with the right person then all the hiccups and challenges are worth it at the end. The fact is, everyone wants to have a perfect relationship, but what people don’t understand is that you need to put in a lot of effort to have one. Nothing worthwhile comes easy and if you do not nurture your relationship every day, it won’t last very long.
Going out on dates, physical intimacy, buying each other gifts and having candlelit dinners contribute towards happiness in a relationship. However, more than this your emotional connection with each other has to be the focal point and driving force of your relationship.
Rather than focusing on having the ‘perfect’ relationship, you need to focus on having a deep, meaningful and nurturing relationship. This will help you not just take your relationship to the next level, it will also make your bond unbreakable.
It’s time to start creating a loving and thriving relationship.
In order to have a healthy relationship full of love and connection, a couple needs to have a good energy flow and synergy.
As a therapist and life transition coach, I’ve worked with many couples struggling with relationship problems and issues.
And, most often, the issues revolve around specific traits like ineffective communication, mistrust, the need for power and control, and the need to be right.
The following 5 C’s of a relationship — chemistry, common goals, commitment, communication, and consensus — are vital in cultivating a loving and thriving relationship.
“Love is when you meet someone who tells you something new about yourself.” — Andre Breton
Each of these C’s is important and each will enhance the other C’s. They seek to enhance connection, cooperation, and effective problem-solving.
They each offer opportunities to improve the level of respect and trust as well as boost the feeling of being valued, understood, and supported in healthy relationships.
1. Chemistry
This is the natural and mutual flow with and between each other in a relationship. It’s not just about physical or sexual attraction.
A big part of chemistry is the desire to know more about the other person. In this desire to know more, you are truthful with each other — being open, curious, accepting, and respectful, even playful as you interact together.
“To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow – this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.” – Elizabeth Gilber
You acknowledge the connection and spark, and allow it to unfold with honesty, openness, and willingness.
You are mindful of the possibilities the relationship offers while being patient and attentive to the process of coming together, not being focused on an expectation or certain outcome.
Focus on an expectation and/or outcome disrupts the natural flow, energy, and synergy between the two of you.
2. Common goals
Goals give our life meaning and increased value. Developing shared direction and goals offers your relationship deeper meaning and connection. Competing goals and directions create tension and conflict — this is conditional love.
Meanwhile, unconditional love and conscious relationships allow for individual goals and needs. Yet, there is equal importance to the value and connection of shared desires and goals.
“Happiness is only real when shared.” – Jon Krakauer
You must be aware of not letting individual goals diminish common goals. The key is the importance of finding the balance with your individual and the relationship goals.
3. Commitment
A commitment is simply an agreement or pledge to do something in the present or future. A relationship commitment is the agreement to love, be open, willing, accepting, and be faithful in and to the relationship partner.
The true intent of a commitment is to create increased satisfaction, understanding, flexibility connection and choice. It’s the conscious choice to put your energy toward the relationship, not just the self.
Commitment in a healthy relationship is the willingness to give the self without losing the self in the commitment. We choose to surrender to love.
In this concept, surrender is not about losing or giving in or up, as our ego would see it. This type of surrender is to gain or benefit much more than we would lose or need to give up.
