Don’t make these 3 dating mistakes.
There is plenty of dating and relationship advice out there for how to find your soulmate and kindred spirit, you want to ensure that what you have is not only healthy but also your best relationship.
If you want to know how to build a better relationship with your soulmate, there are 2 things you need to know first:
- What is a soulmate?
- Is the person I’m currently in a relationship with my soulmate?
One question I get asked a lot, “Is he my soulmate?” And, I mean a lot. And that may be running a tie with, “When is he going to call?”
The term “soulmate”, while certainly open to interpretation, has in many cases come to mean “the one person with whom I am going to spend the rest of my life in blissful happiness.”
There’s a well-known poem that’s been around for quite a while about people who come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
In many respects, it reflects my personal understanding of what a soulmate is:
- Not everyone who comes into our lives is meant to be with us for our entire lifetime.
- Not all relationships are soulmate relationships.
- Not all soulmate relationships are romantic. Our soulmates might be our parents, siblings, close friends, and others with whom we are not romantically or sexually involved.
- Not all soulmate relationships are happy.
- Not all of our soulmates are our life mates.
To delve deeper into the concept of soulmate relationships, authors Brian Weiss and Michael Newton have both written beautifully in-depth books on this subject, and their ideas and experiences are useful and enlightening.
There’s a different approach that may be more helpful and practical when applied to the dating and mating game we all play.
But, before you can do that, you need to be aware of 3 relationship mistakes and major stumbling blocks that push your potential soulmate and life partner away from you.
These are the 3 dating mistakes we do:
1. You perceive and want to believe (hope!) that your desired partner is your soulmate
That creates the expectation that the shorthand definition (“The one person with whom I am going to spend the rest of my life in blissful happiness”) applies to your relationship with this person.
2. You have a distorted perception of love
The expectation I just described above makes you accept and tolerate the opposites of a healthy, loving relationship: abuse, neglect, disrespect, and co-dependence.
You may be in a soulmate relationship, but the ending won’t necessarily be the happily ever after one.
3. You force the facts to fit your desired outcome
Basically, you place the cart squarely in front of the horse. You start by believing the soulmate shorthand. Then, you set out to find that soulmate. And often, you disregard the facts regarding the person or situation you find.