Mature Love Has No Surprises!
In order to determine if you have love that is mature, you have to realize that your partner will bring his or her own ideas about to relate to others in the day-to-day course of your lives.
You’ve had your own ideals on what marriage and partnership should be like, unless you lived together. I can also venture a guess that you never discussed your ideas with one another and expected that your marriage bond would just automatically make things perfect.
So take time to answer these questions.
Decide if you AGREE or DISAGREE with these statements and if you can do it separately, that would be great.
21 Questions You Must Ask Before You Tie The Knot
1. Work will always take precedence over relaxing together.
2. A platonic friendship with an ex is harmless as long as we’ve met each other.
3. It’s important to have close friends in common.
4. Holidays are times when extended family should gather.
5. Birthday and anniversary celebrations are important.
6. Entertaining is fun
7. It’s important to socialize with a spouse’s work colleagues.
8. It’s important to live close to your families.
9. When a family or close friends visit from out-of-town, they should expect to stay at your home, as long as you have room.
10. Your door is always open to family and close friends, even if they don’t call in advance.
11. If the phone rings, you should stop what you’re doing and answer it, even if you are eating dinner, talking with your partner, watching a movie together or cuddling.
12. If a close friend needs money, you open your wallet, no questions asked.
13. Casual flirting at parties is harmless.
14. You should feel free to discuss problems in your marriage with a close friend or family member whom you trust.
15. You enjoy receiving spontaneous invitations to go out with friends.
16. It’s okay if your partner invites a friend to your home without asking you.
17. It’s okay for you or your partner to have friends with the opposite sex.
18. You prefer vacationing with friends rather than as a couple.
19. You can’t bear to disappoint your mother.
20 If your parents lend you money to buy a home, they should have a say in your purchase.
21. Your spouse should always comes first, no matter what.
Now that you have completed both parts of the exercise, talk about one’s you agreed with and discuss why you gave your particular answer. This will strengthen unity prior to the big day. Then discuss the one’s where your answers were different. Decide which partner will go first and give them ample time to explain their answer without interruption.
The role of this exercise is to acknowledge the areas where you have agreements and disagreements, and get into the habit of talking about how you will live your daily lives given the information each of you provided.
When couples can embrace their differences, they can more easily face conflict without putting a wedge between their marriage.
Don’t let a few differences keep you from having the marriage you truly want. Coach Keith can help empower your marriage.
“Create your future from your future, not your past” – Werner Erhard