9 Things You Need To Know Before Dating An Overthinker

If you find yourself falling for someone who overthinks a lot, then there are a few things you need to know. Dating an overthinker doesn’t have to be an exhausting thing as it’s portrayed to be most of the time.

Overthinkers are people who are always busy inspecting, analyzing, and interpreting things. There are different scenarios playing on in their mind continuously, scenarios that are likely to occur or may never occur.

Though they might sound like some species of a rare kind, they are all around us. Chances are you may date one someday and if you happen to do so it’s always better to know beforehand what you’re getting into.

So, what it’s like dating an overthinker? Here are a few things you need to keep in mind before dating an overthinker.

Related: 8 Ways The Girl With a Big Heart but Complicated Mind Loves Differently

9 Things You Need To Know Before Dating An Overthinker

1. They over-analyze everything.

Whether you’re dating an overthinker man or woman, always know that they over-analyze every situation – the way you talk to them, the way you walk, and every aspect of you. They will speculate and come up with mind-blowing conclusions that only they understand.

You should either do your homework or go the extra mile in explaining your thought process. Don’t get annoyed with them, because they have no malice in their hearts nor are they trying to annoy you. They are simply wired that way.

dating an overthinker

2. Always be clear, and transparent with them.

One of the most important tips for dating an overthinker is that you should always be very transparent and clear with them. Vague, ambiguous, and half-truths never work for them, rather they end up overthinking more in such situations.

You need to be direct and straightforward with them, and be completely honest. Never hide anything, as that will make the situation worse. Give them the full story with all the details, and everything will be good in the hood.

3. They are amazing listeners.

Are you going through a tough time? Are you facing any sort of problem? They are the best people to share your problems with, as they are amazing and patient listeners. Share your feelings with them and even though they might not always be able to solve your problem, having them as your sounding board can help you feel better and lighter.

They have these ninja skills of analyzing, they will not only come up with what might have gone wrong but with a hundred similar scenarios that could have happened instead.

Related: 18 Things That Any Anxious Overthinker Will Understand

4. Their intuition is unparalleled.

Stuck in a sticky situation? Don’t worry, just follow their lead, they probably have already prepared the escape route in their minds, and have thought of all the probable situations that MIGHT happen, before they even happen.

Dating an overthinker is like having Sherlock Holmes on your side; they are extremely intelligent and intuitive, and they know exactly what to do to get out of trouble. They have thought and over-analyzed everything before even taking the first step.

5. Never ever lie to them. Ever.

If you are dating an overthinker woman or an overthinker man, always remember that lying is never an option. Overthinkers hate lies, deceit, and dishonesty, and find them unforgivable. It’s always better to hurt them with the truth than to comfort them with a lie.

Don’t ever underestimate their overthinking. Their overthinking is what fuels them and helps them understand and deduce everything. Even if you lie, it will only be a matter of time before they discover the truth.

dating an overthinker

6. Ignoring them breaks their heart.

Never ignore their texts or calls, because with each passing minute the scenarios in their head get worse. They will start assuming the worst; they will think that maybe you are cheating on them, or worse still, something has happened to you.

Yes, it can be a bit annoying handling this, but always remember that they are good people with good intentions. All they want to know is whether you’re okay or not. In the grand scheme of things, is that really too much to ask for?

Related: 8 Signs You’re An Over-Thinker (Even If You Don’t Think You Are!)

7. They are hopeless romantics.

They are hopeless romantics at heart, and they won’t just propose to you but do it in a much more creative and memorable way. Maybe they will do it in 20 different languages or maybe just shut a power grid and light up the sky with fireworks, I don’t know.

Whatever it might be, you will remember it for the rest of your life. Overthinkers put a lot of thought and effort into everything they do, so be rest assured, that they will never leave any stone unturned to make you feel special and loved.

8. Don’t tell them not to overthink.

This is probably one of the worst things you can do when you’re dating an overthinker. You need to understand that overthinking is an integral part of who they are, and they can’t just shut it off just because you want them to. Sure, their overthinking can get a bit hard to handle at times, but it’s never going to harm you in any way.

By telling them not to overthink, you are asking them to change who they are fundamentally and that’s not fair. Sometimes, you might even hurt them when you tell them to simply “let it go” and “stop overthinking”.

dating an overthinker

9. When overthinkers apologize, they mean it.

They know they can be a pain in the ass sometimes and it’s not something they can help; they are simply wired that way. But no matter how much they might annoy you with their overthinking, whenever they apologize, always know that they are doing it from the heart and it’s 100% genuine.

Never doubt their sentiments or question their apologies. They are truly genuine people with pure intentions, and even if they screw up badly at times, they will always try to make it up to you.

Related: Harsh Truths About An Overthinker With A Sensitive Heart

Dating an overthinker can feel challenging at times, but the love, support, and companionship you’ll get from them will be irreplaceable and unparalleled. Try to look past their overthinking tendencies and see that they are coming from a place of love. They are lovely people with golden hearts.


9 Things You Need to Know Before Dating an Overthinker
9 Things You Need to Know Before Dating an Over-Thinker

Published On:

Last updated on:

Aaron Ben-Zeév

Aaron Ben-Zeev is a Professor of Philosophy at the University of Haifa. He received his Ph.D. is from the University of Chicago (1981). Professor Ben-Zeev is considered one of the world's leading experts in the study of emotions and romantic love. Among his books are The Subtlety of Emotions (MIT, 2000),A Love Online (Cambridge UP, 2004), In The Name of Love (with Goussinsky, Oxford UP, 2008); The Arc of Love: How Our Romantic Lives Change Over Time (University of Chicago Press, 2019). He has a popular blog in Psychology Today, on Romantic Love, which enjoys about one million viewers per 90 days. A At the University of Haifa, he was President (2004-2012), Rector (2000-2004), Dean of Research (1995-2000), and Chairperson of the Philosophy Department (1986-1988). He is the Founding and former President of the European Philosophical Society for the Study of Emotions.

Disclaimer: The informational content on The Minds Journal have been created and reviewed by qualified mental health professionals. They are intended solely for educational and self-awareness purposes and should not be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing emotional distress or have concerns about your mental health, please seek help from a licensed mental health professional or healthcare provider.

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If you find yourself falling for someone who overthinks a lot, then there are a few things you need to know. Dating an overthinker doesn’t have to be an exhausting thing as it’s portrayed to be most of the time.

Overthinkers are people who are always busy inspecting, analyzing, and interpreting things. There are different scenarios playing on in their mind continuously, scenarios that are likely to occur or may never occur.

Though they might sound like some species of a rare kind, they are all around us. Chances are you may date one someday and if you happen to do so it’s always better to know beforehand what you’re getting into.

So, what it’s like dating an overthinker? Here are a few things you need to keep in mind before dating an overthinker.

Related: 8 Ways The Girl With a Big Heart but Complicated Mind Loves Differently

9 Things You Need To Know Before Dating An Overthinker

1. They over-analyze everything.

Whether you’re dating an overthinker man or woman, always know that they over-analyze every situation – the way you talk to them, the way you walk, and every aspect of you. They will speculate and come up with mind-blowing conclusions that only they understand.

You should either do your homework or go the extra mile in explaining your thought process. Don’t get annoyed with them, because they have no malice in their hearts nor are they trying to annoy you. They are simply wired that way.

dating an overthinker

2. Always be clear, and transparent with them.

One of the most important tips for dating an overthinker is that you should always be very transparent and clear with them. Vague, ambiguous, and half-truths never work for them, rather they end up overthinking more in such situations.

You need to be direct and straightforward with them, and be completely honest. Never hide anything, as that will make the situation worse. Give them the full story with all the details, and everything will be good in the hood.

3. They are amazing listeners.

Are you going through a tough time? Are you facing any sort of problem? They are the best people to share your problems with, as they are amazing and patient listeners. Share your feelings with them and even though they might not always be able to solve your problem, having them as your sounding board can help you feel better and lighter.

They have these ninja skills of analyzing, they will not only come up with what might have gone wrong but with a hundred similar scenarios that could have happened instead.

Related: 18 Things That Any Anxious Overthinker Will Understand

4. Their intuition is unparalleled.

Stuck in a sticky situation? Don’t worry, just follow their lead, they probably have already prepared the escape route in their minds, and have thought of all the probable situations that MIGHT happen, before they even happen.

Dating an overthinker is like having Sherlock Holmes on your side; they are extremely intelligent and intuitive, and they know exactly what to do to get out of trouble. They have thought and over-analyzed everything before even taking the first step.

5. Never ever lie to them. Ever.

If you are dating an overthinker woman or an overthinker man, always remember that lying is never an option. Overthinkers hate lies, deceit, and dishonesty, and find them unforgivable. It’s always better to hurt them with the truth than to comfort them with a lie.

Don’t ever underestimate their overthinking. Their overthinking is what fuels them and helps them understand and deduce everything. Even if you lie, it will only be a matter of time before they discover the truth.

dating an overthinker

6. Ignoring them breaks their heart.

Never ignore their texts or calls, because with each passing minute the scenarios in their head get worse. They will start assuming the worst; they will think that maybe you are cheating on them, or worse still, something has happened to you.

Yes, it can be a bit annoying handling this, but always remember that they are good people with good intentions. All they want to know is whether you’re okay or not. In the grand scheme of things, is that really too much to ask for?

Related: 8 Signs You’re An Over-Thinker (Even If You Don’t Think You Are!)

7. They are hopeless romantics.

They are hopeless romantics at heart, and they won’t just propose to you but do it in a much more creative and memorable way. Maybe they will do it in 20 different languages or maybe just shut a power grid and light up the sky with fireworks, I don’t know.

Whatever it might be, you will remember it for the rest of your life. Overthinkers put a lot of thought and effort into everything they do, so be rest assured, that they will never leave any stone unturned to make you feel special and loved.

8. Don’t tell them not to overthink.

This is probably one of the worst things you can do when you’re dating an overthinker. You need to understand that overthinking is an integral part of who they are, and they can’t just shut it off just because you want them to. Sure, their overthinking can get a bit hard to handle at times, but it’s never going to harm you in any way.

By telling them not to overthink, you are asking them to change who they are fundamentally and that’s not fair. Sometimes, you might even hurt them when you tell them to simply “let it go” and “stop overthinking”.

dating an overthinker

9. When overthinkers apologize, they mean it.

They know they can be a pain in the ass sometimes and it’s not something they can help; they are simply wired that way. But no matter how much they might annoy you with their overthinking, whenever they apologize, always know that they are doing it from the heart and it’s 100% genuine.

Never doubt their sentiments or question their apologies. They are truly genuine people with pure intentions, and even if they screw up badly at times, they will always try to make it up to you.

Related: Harsh Truths About An Overthinker With A Sensitive Heart

Dating an overthinker can feel challenging at times, but the love, support, and companionship you’ll get from them will be irreplaceable and unparalleled. Try to look past their overthinking tendencies and see that they are coming from a place of love. They are lovely people with golden hearts.


9 Things You Need to Know Before Dating an Overthinker
9 Things You Need to Know Before Dating an Over-Thinker

Published On:

Last updated on:

Aaron Ben-Zeév

Aaron Ben-Zeev is a Professor of Philosophy at the University of Haifa. He received his Ph.D. is from the University of Chicago (1981). Professor Ben-Zeev is considered one of the world's leading experts in the study of emotions and romantic love. Among his books are The Subtlety of Emotions (MIT, 2000),A Love Online (Cambridge UP, 2004), In The Name of Love (with Goussinsky, Oxford UP, 2008); The Arc of Love: How Our Romantic Lives Change Over Time (University of Chicago Press, 2019). He has a popular blog in Psychology Today, on Romantic Love, which enjoys about one million viewers per 90 days. A At the University of Haifa, he was President (2004-2012), Rector (2000-2004), Dean of Research (1995-2000), and Chairperson of the Philosophy Department (1986-1988). He is the Founding and former President of the European Philosophical Society for the Study of Emotions.

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