13 Habits of People With Concealed Depression

Habits of People With Concealed Depression

Depression is one of the most common mental health disorders in children and adolescents but often goes undetected and undiagnosed.  Those with concealed depression put up a happy front and hide the fact they are fighting with inner demons. Symptoms of mental illness are not clearly visible in such people. But, there are some common habits of people with concealed depression. 

But, before discussing that you must know that hidden description is the outcome of cultures that highly supports the idea of hiding feelings of sadness and inadequacy. And displaying emotional trauma is often frowned upon and a sort of cultural taboo. 

On top of that social media is ruling our life to an extent that we don’t think beyond virtual relationships. Without  talking to your friends face-to-face, hugging them tightly or looking into their eyes, it’s tough to decode what they are going through. Cool texting language with exciting emojis, can help a person with depression hide all the pain and suffering. A smiley emoji doesn’t mean the person is really laughing out loud and having a happening life. 

If we don’t come out of tech-driven connections, we will stop being able to understand each other. And those who are depressed don’t share their mental state with even their closest  of companions. Only if you invest time in understanding people, they will reveal their scars and wounds to you. Else, in the long run the world will become a dark place to live. 

Here are 13 habits of people With concealed depression:

Habits of People Concealed Depression

1. They may intentionally make efforts to appear happy.

It is a misconception that all the depressed people have a dreary personality. The social construction of depression deviates from the medical notion of illness. Moreover, the stigma associated with depression has compelled people living with depression to pretend like everything’s okay and they have a happening life. 

Depression is characterized by a range of symptoms and is not just about feeling low or sad. So, those who are depressed tend to alter their facial expressions or mood and may come across as most “happy” people that you know. They try hard to flaunt an optimistic attitude even when they are broken and feeling hopeless about life. 

2. They may have abandonment issues.

Nothing can be more painful than your loved one walking out of your life. But, it hurts a person with depression more than the normal person. They are scarred for life and tend to bottle up emotions. Over time they become more and more secretive out of fear of the recession of those they love.

They blame themselves and feel guilty of things not done and assume that they are terrible enough for someone they love to handle. They withdraw themselves and make efforts to not be a burden for those closest to them. 

Read People with Depression Speak Language Differently New Study Reveals

3. They can be pros at “cover-up” stories.

People with concealed depression come up with wonderful excuses for not attending a party last night, skipping biology classes, cuts on their wrists, not attending calls or replying to messages and so on –  they can cook stories for anything. 

They avoid attention considering the stereotypes and myths about depression that people have. Depression hampers your work, relationships as well as the normalcy of daily lives. Expressing your pain to people and giving them a chance to put you down is a big NO. Hiding their state of mind and things they are going through seems to be a better option for them. 

Read What Not To Say (And What You Should Say) To A Person With Depression

4. They may have strange sleeping and eating habits.

People with depression don’t open up themselves and make muted cries for help. They feel helpless, which has a profound impact on their sleeping and eating habits. They either sleep too much or too less. Either they lose appetite or indulge in binge-eating. 

Depression creates an extreme lack of control, but sleep and diet are two easiest options for depressed people to escape and avoid their feelings. 

41 thoughts on “13 Habits of People With Concealed Depression”

  1. Avatar of Mandi

    Wow exactly what I’m going through couldn’t explain it better no one saw the depression just my BFFI wish I will Be strong and go back to the normal me

  2. Avatar of Paul

    I ticked off every single one of these. My father has struggled with depression all his life yet refused to see mine, exhorting me instead to ‘pull myself together’, something he always hated to be told himself. It was then I knew I was on my own. It was either suicide or habits.

  3. Avatar of Just me

    Until recently I had NO idea what was “wrong” with me. This is even after being involved with a therapist for 3 years. She’d say: “what is wrong, is it me, is it something I did?” All I could say was I didn’t know, that I didn’t think it was anything she did. A year later she left me, saying that she believed I didn’t love her anymore. Then I go to a therapist. I discovered that not only have I been walking around for well over 40+ years feeling this way but also also uncovering that lack of love I felt from my mother which compounds it all. Then a therapist walks into my life that couldn’t see the writing on the wall – it still hurts like hell!

  4. Avatar of Esther Mwende

    After reading this, I have realised am among those who like locking people outside without telling them what’s really eating me up from the insides…it’s such a hard task to start telling someone what you’re truly going through.

  5. Avatar of Jerry lin Yarberry
    Jerry lin Yarberry


  6. Avatar of Jerry lin Yarberry
    Jerry lin Yarberry

    Just moved 3 weeks ago, from downtown San Diego; lived there for almost 7 years…I let this lady who I wanted to know better hold on to my orange tabby mix kat cause Ernie is house kat and would of been hard moving at the time of didn’t know where I was going.. she likes Ernie, and thought if I give her my Ernie we can get together assuming she’s on same page and she didn’t want boyfriend and cool with me..we can still e around an I can flirt..I haven’t heard from her since I moved… she never said what she wanted out of rest of life.. nothing..gifts she loves
    I was very pissed, but people do what they do to protect themselves..I want my Ernie back.. but after 2 years.. Ernie’s gone with the wind.last 3 weeks I slept.. thanks for your time..jly

  7. Avatar of Robert

    What a generic article! Simplistic, like something you would read in understanding depression for dummies. That’s th eff problem with social media, all these self appointed experts. Bah!

    1. Avatar of Pam

      Robert, you may be an expert in this area, but what if someone experiencing depression Googled “depression habits” that brought up this article? It may be the first time that person realizes they are not alone. That could mean life or death to someone. We have to read a lot of the same stuff before we find what we’re really looking for. Just move on if it doesn’t apply to you.

  8. Avatar of Jay

    To close to home. Been through the worst parts of my life and even with the meds, I can’t stop thinking how I’d be better off dead. Morbid, I know but it’s the reality of depression. I always said , it not if, it’s when.

    1. Avatar of Lemon83

      I have bipolar and my depression is killing me, so I feel what you are saying on so many levels. I struggle to see the point so much of the time. Medication just doesn’t cut it.

  9. Avatar of Akaguongo

    I have seen myself in this article. There are times I can manage it, but there are times I breakdown. It’s not easy opening up to people, especially people you care about because you don’t want to be a burden, but when I think of my family, I have to drag myself, kicking and scratching internally, to move.

    But I wanted just to say thank you for writing this article.

  10. Avatar of Chaitanya Chaturvedi
    Chaitanya Chaturvedi

    My story is almost similar to you but I am in not that phase of life where you are. This is the only difference. If you don’t mind we can talk to each other and share our feelings. Because I need someone stranger to talk to. It would help me.
    @Chaitanya4vedi is my Instagram. We can have DMs

  11. Avatar of Alejandra Silveira Chalar
    Alejandra Silveira Chalar

    I was treated for depression and anxiety right after my baby girl was born. I spent 3 years taking medication, gained a lot of weight (I was skinny all my life until then), and almost every day I woke up just to think “why the hell I opened up my eyes? Why can´t I go back to sleep and luckily I won´t wake up anymore?” The fact that I was responsible for my kids and that nobody else could give them the love and care they needed from me, gave me the strength to get out of bed everyday and try to regain control of my life. My husband wasn´t very helpful, he didn´t want to accept my condition. Somehow I managed to function as a “normal” person, I know depression is always there, but now I have tools to confront it and win the fight. But yes, it isn´t easy to let other people get too closer, they could see who yo really are.

    1. Avatar of Momgenes

      I can relate to your feelings with being a Mom & struggling thru the depression. Kudos to you! I’m sure your children adore you. My children are older & grown up now & they validate me every so often..However…I live with guilt that I couldn’t be the Mom they needed when raising them. If the help had been there (believe me-I went to many therapy sessions) but always felt they were angry at me for being depressed & not able to “fake it til I make it” & was so low in energy. The stigma is still attached to mental illness & I am older & wiser now & share everything (that I learned the hard way) with people who are suffering & always try to validate their feelings. I believe the most damage is done to people with mental illness by “lack of” validation. It infuriates me & it’s hard to fathom that people-in these modern times-either don’t comprehend others struggles or simply don’t care.

  12. Avatar of Cheryl

    I saw myself in here too. I have been treated for depression both with medication and with therapy. I have had some very horrific traumas happen in childhood and in young adulthood. Those things and other things contributed to the diagnosis of Severe Recurring Depression. I live in an assisted living facility and am the second youngest person here; I am in my 60’s. Due to the traumas I have tried suicide, but each time they found me and I was hospitalized. As you can tell, I am still alive. There are three others in my family, that I know of, that have commited suicide, three cousins and my dad. Each of these had some form of depression and were alcoholics. I will not try suicide again, my therapy is working well and I can see stopping it in the next year. The medication is also helping quite well. I know very well this is not always the case. I truly wish that everyone who has this insidious disease would consent to treatment before it is too late.

  13. Avatar of Rozzy

    This is a great article – I see my son in all of these points – it made me cry as he will not get help and thinks he can do it on his own and he may well do that. He sees things is such a different light and makes some fantastic profound statements and observations that really make me rethink my beliefs and thoughts. I just hope he gets through this constant search for whatever he is here for. He questions everything and has said many times he was never meant to be here on this earth. He is in mental pain everyday and it hurts me to the core. As parents all we want is for our children to be happy. He is 22 and can not see past today. Every day is a struggle for him and me – it hurts so much but I have become used to it and now can turn off” because I knew that it was literally making me ill. I have 2 beautiful daughters who have their own businesses and great partners and Im so happy for them. They have taught me to let go and live my life and be me, its a work in progress, funny how your babies can grow up and be your saviours. One line in this article really hit me for a six…There is nothing more heartbreaking than finding out your ugliest layer of self is too ugly for someone you love to handle – I think he already knows this. R

  14. Avatar of Grace

    As a suicide survivor with severe depressive disorder, I was in just this whole space and hit the stop button in November 2013. This is such an awesomely inspiring article. Thank you

  15. Avatar of Tom Johnston

    My partner of 37 years, and husband of one year, has suffered from crippling depression for eighteen years. Since I retired we are together 24/7. I don’t leave him alone for more than a couple of hours. After seven years I too am suffering from depression which I hide. We have lost all our friends except for those who live far away. People don’t call nor do they visit. I make the effort to go back to my workplace almost daily just to see people I know. Depression can really kill your life. I had many plans to return to things I had enjoyed before work got in the way, but they are too time consuming to be away from my husband. I realize I am sacrificing too much but the guilt is great.

  16. Avatar of Anne Andersson

    This is so beautifully said. We should know and have an eye open for people around us. We are not supposed to fix their lifes, we are supposed to see them and give them our love. No matter what.

  17. Avatar of Daniel Whittaker

    I connect with with all 11, but I find 11 interesting. Usually people, at least in my case, when u try to show love or connection, it’s usually used or pushed away because it’s “clingy”, when I’m like “everyone else”. It only gets confusing.

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