5 Things Men Think About Women But Won’t Say

In a desperate effort to understand what men think about women, you might fantasize about swinging a hammer at a man’s head, cracking it open, and watching in awe as his innermost thoughts spill onto the floor.

[Please don’t do this. There are better ways.]

It can be extremely frustrating not knowing what men think about women… or what they think about you in particular.

You can drive yourself crazy replaying conversations and situations in your head…

You: Hey baby…whatcha thinking about?

Him: Mm. Nothing.

You: [later] What does that MEAN, “nothing??!” No one thinks about nothing!!

If the male mind is as puzzling to you as a Rubik’s Cube, you’re going to love this video and article.

In today’s video, I’m going to give you what men think about women in five easy bite-sized nuggets. Now, I’m betraying my people a bit, because these are things that men are thinking, but in no way want you ladies to know they’re thinking them.

These are the things that will get us kicked, punched, and generally put on your shit list.

So don’t tell them I told, you, ‘kay? Thanks.

Once you know the deeper psychological reasons behind why men think the way we do…and what men think about women… it’s like discovering a secret door into your guy’s brain.

There’s plenty of benefit for you once you know these five secrets men think about.

Knowing what men think about women can save you the agony of getting sucked into a toxic relationship because you’ll be on top of what’s going on in his crazy twisted head and can get out before you get hurt.

Even better:

It can allow you to relax and leave space for men to truly be themselves. Once you can let go of trying to be a mindreader and figure out what’s going on in that 8-pound hunk of thinking muscle, you change as a romantic partner. You’re cooler and less stressed.

That will make any man uncontrollably addicted to you.

Who doesn’t want that, right?

Related: 5 Psychological Tricks Women Use To Make Men Think About Them Non-Stop

What Men Think About Women Isn’t Always Earth-Shattering

Here’s the Catch 22. Women struggle to understand what men think about women…and sometimes waste a lot of energy trying to guess or make their dudes tell them.

What are you really thinking? Not “nothing.” Tell me. TELL MEEEEEE!

Guys hate this. They cannot stand a woman poking at them to “talk about their feelings.” And yet, many of us suck at doing so. We know you’d leave us alone if we were better communicators, and yet we don’t know how to be.

And here’s a secret: a lot of the time we really are thinking nothing. I mean, not 100% black hole or anything, but do you really want us to say well, I was thinking that I needed to go home and do laundry or I was regretting eating that bean burrito last night.

Sometimes we’re embarrassed that we aren’t thinking something profound that we could proudly share with you, so we say nothing.

Hey, it’s better than lying and saying, oh baby, I was thinking about how much I utterly adore you.

C’mon. You don’t want us telling you what you think you want to hear, do you? Wouldn’t you rather we be honest, even if we have nothing of consequence on the brain?

And sometimes we’re thinking something that is going to piss you off. Truly.

The whole does my butt look fat thing? There’s no winning that one. So if we know what’s good for us, we’ll keep our big traps shut.

Still, you asked, so I’m going to tell you what men think about women…even if it pisses you off.

So now let’s look at what men think about women, but won’t say out loud.

1. Why is she so emotional?

You cry when the grandpa hugs the kid on the toilet paper commercial.

You rage like crazy when we forget to put the toilet seat down and you fall in at night.

You coo and talk baby talk to puppies.

It’s true; sometimes we just don’t get why you ladies are so emotional.

Adrianna Mendrek, the lead researcher on a study at the Université de Montréal, found that women were more emotionally reactive to negative images than men, due to their higher levels of estrogen.

Men, on the other hand, proved to have a lower sensitivity to negative imagery due to their testosterone.

So is it any wonder we get accused of being insensitive by you? It’s absolutely true! Don’t discount the role of hormones in the emotional reaction to things. You’ve got it and we don’t.

Men look at how women get emotional at something and wonder why because we can’t see ourselves getting emotional about it. You’re sobbing, watching Jack clinging to the piece of wood or whatever Rose is on after the Titanic sinks, and we’re laughing at his blue lips.

Clearly, we are from different planets.

Now if a guy is smart, he will never ask you why you’re so emotional. Yes, some of us are dumb enough to ask are you on your period when you’re extra emotional.

I know, I know. Those guys are jerks. So insensitive.

Just realize: you are like an alien to us. We are fascinated by what makes you tick (just like you are with us). We want to know what angers you and what makes you weep…mainly so we can avoid doing those things.

If you want to know what men think about women, it’s often what’s going through her head? What’s making her have that emotional reaction?

You can share with us why you’re so emotional, or keep us in the dark. Your choice.

Related: How To Give A Man Space So That He Comes Back To Love You More

2. Give me a hint that you actually like me.

Jared meets Missy at a party. They talk for 20 minutes or so, then suddenly Jared ends the conversation and walks away. Missy is left confused. She thought they’d hit it off. What gives?

When a woman is a little bit nervous or shy, men can mistakenly assume she’s not interested, even if her body language is saying she is.

Missy just didn’t know what to say or how to give Jared any hints that she was available, so he walked away too quickly. She might have thought that smiling and asking him questions was doing the trick, but he wanted more proof before he made himself vulnerable by asking her out.

Men like Jared are looking for that little piece of evidence that you are interested in them. Yes, we have delicate egos sometimes. We want to be 100% sure you are into us before we ask you out because the absolute worst thing we can possibly imagine is that you will reject us.

Him: Well, I really enjoyed our little conversation. Would you want to go out sometime?

You: Uh…I would…except I’m married.

So make sure you’re getting the message across. Touch him now and then on the arm or the chest. Compliment him. Laugh at his jokes. Find a way to let him know you’re available.

3. I love you…but that woman over there is also pretty cute.

Ugh, I know how much you hate it when your guy looks at other women.

But please understand it does not mean he’s going to cheat on you…or break up with you…or sleep with her.

I’m going to once again pull out the evolution card. We men were designed to spread our seed far and wide. Monogamy changed that because now, instead of being cavemen having dozens of cavebabies with multiple women to populate this brave new world, we are boyfriends and husbands who remain with the same woman for years or even a lifetime.

We’re in relationships built on love and trust, not a reproduction.

And yet…that deep impulse to spread our seed still exists somewhere.

Now, I’m not telling you that all men cheat because they don’t. What I am saying is that there’s a biological function happening when we see an attractive woman. We get a chemical high when presented with an appealing female. We are usually smart enough not to act on it (like she’d give us the time of day), but of course, if you catch us doing this, you will hit us with your purse.

When you understand what men think about women, you can see that we are simply appreciative of beauty. It could be in an art gallery. In nature. Or in a bar. Sorry. We don’t discern among types of works of art!

I have not met a single guy, regardless of age or relationship status, who can’t help but check out a beautiful woman. Don’t blame us… blame evolution! It doesn’t mean anything. It’s just a simple look and that’s all.

Related: 5 Things That Women Want From Men

4. Dear God, stop complaining!

You: Jeez. My hair is so flat. I feel gross today. I just want to stay home in yoga pants.

Him: Gaaaa! You look fine. Amazing even. Stop complaining!

Please stop complaining about your looks. You are beautiful, and we’re with you because we are attracted to you. We all have days where we don’t feel 100% but sometimes, ladies, what men think about women is that they complain. All. The. Damn. Time.

Don’t be that person.

I realize that the media — and even social media — play a huge effect and messes with your mind. It tells you that you’re not beautiful so that you will go out and spend a bunch of money on the products they’re trying to sell.

Fashion magazines make you feel fat (despite the fact that those models are Photoshopped to look skinny and perfect). Celebrities look flawless on the red carpet (despite you not knowing that they ate only cabbage and beet juice for a week before the event).

So we get that sometimes you don’t feel beautiful.

However, it can be very frustrating when we find you incredibly attractive, but you don’t see that in yourself. Remember: men love a confident lady, and moaning and groaning all the time does not make you seem confident at all.

So screw the media and anyone who makes you feel that you’re not beautiful enough because you are! And accept our compliments! We don’t throw them around carelessly. If we tell you that you’re beautiful, say “thank you”, not “noooo, I’m hideous!”

5. Oh baby, you totally want me.

A study conducted by the University of Texas at Austin found that men tend to over-perceive sexual interest from a woman. This goes back eons and is because they don’t want to miss out on the opportunity to reproduce.

Think about it: if a guy is overconfident and makes his move — even if she’s not exactly giving off reciprocal vibes — he won’t miss out on the chance to mate. Now, he might not actually score, but if he didn’t try, he would never know, right?

So what does this mean for dating in the 21st century? Essentially, guys who go around assuming that all women want them will actually have more opportunities to get laid.

Yeah, sounds a little douchey, but you know you’re attracted to that overconfident guy sometimes.

Women, on the other hand, have evolved to under-perceive sexual interest. Meaning, you don’t think most guys are into you when they really are.

When my girlfriend and I are walking down the street, I’ll tell her that a guy was checking her out. She never believes me! But I see the looks and I know. But she under-perceives what men think about women, and you probably do too.

The evolutionary reason that you probably don’t notice when a man is interested is that you don’t want to have sex with the wrong guy, risk getting pregnant and potentially raising a kid on your own. So you only pay attention to signs of sexual interest when it suits you, aka you’re into him as well.

So if you’re sick of men going around thinking they’re hot shit, then you can blame Darwinism and evolution.

Related: 10 Biggest Mistakes Women Make In Relationships

Conclusion: You might not always want to know what men think about women

Look, to be fair, there’s a ton of things that women think about men that you don’t want us to know. So don’t freak that what men think about women isn’t always butterflies and unicorns. We’re gross. We’re crass. We think what’s on our mind, even if we don’t always say it.

And you need to let that go, by the way. Let go of your desire to always know what’s on our minds. Because sometimes you won’t like it. And then you’ll be sad or mad, and we won’t know what to do about that. We tried to warn you!

Understand that men and women think about things and process emotions completely differently. And that’s okay. That’s what you like in a guy: the fact that he sees the world totally differently than you do. Let him have his perspective, and you keep yours.

Is there something else in what men think about women that you wonder about? Share in the comments below and I’ll do my best to address it.

And in the meantime, get the Male Mind Map to better understand what men think about women!

Written by Adam LaDolce
Originally appeared on SexyConfidence