Never Do These Things To Your Men
Emotionally available men. Most of you, I believe have come across this term. Some of the women (including you) might have even come across one such man in your lives.
Men were never considered emotional beings. An emotionally unavailable man is basically clueless about the negative impact he has on the relationship and on his partner. Nevertheless, they can do little about being emotionally unavailable. But these men are subtly different from narcissistic men who abuse their partner, mentally, emotionally, and otherwise, leaving their partner distraught with pain and misery.
This does not mean emotionally unavailable men are any better for their partners. These men are utterly confused and conflicted within and also get this inner mess projected onto their relationship and on their partners.
Now, what if I told I was an emotionally unavailable guy?
I truly was.
What if I told you, I never took responsibility for my actions? What if I said I hurt my partner and never made it up to her?
What if I say that I was never there for my partner? I was always looking for the next best way to escape accountability. I never understood her emotional needs, let along cater to it. The worst thing, I often ignored and avoided her as much as I could.
All she desperately wanted me to do was change. She did all she could do in her power to make the relationship work on good terms. She believed that one day I would understand her, realize how much she loved me and of what value she was to me.
But inside I knew I would never change. What do you think? Did she leave me because I was so pathetic as a lover?
Unfortunately for her, NO. I am afraid most women in her place would not. There’s a common pattern of thoughts and attitudes shared by women who get attracted to emotionally unavailable men.
Being with an emotionally unavailable man can be extremely frustrating. why then do women remain in a relationship with such a person?
These women have low self-esteem and a lack of self-control and self-reliance. These women do not have much control over the relationship as they have to constantly work hard to keep the interest of these men. It is the women who try to make the emotionally unavailable man available by helping him open up. If they are successful they feel the power over the men, if they cannot, their self-esteem goes off into the gutter.
Particularly in such a situation, this woman should ideally stop persuing the men. But they seldom do so.
But such a man has a chance of improving his emotional expressions and experiences. It only happens if they get into a relationship with the right person. The partner needs to avoid doing a few things to the man, and they are as follows:
These are the 3 things a woman must stop doing to their men in order to let them open up:
1. Expecting him to be on your terms
The worst you can do to yourself and to your relationship is to expect unrealistically from you man. Learn to keep logical expectations from him and he might not disappoint you. Every individual seeks independence and hence your partner also wants to function at his own pace. Leave it on to him to fulfill your wishes according to his potentials, not based on your assumptions.
2. Waiting for him to change
Some men or some people for that matter will never learn for the simple reason that they don’t want to learn. To hope that these men will change is like hoping to be famous one fine morning, to be rich one fine morning – just by hoping.
Give up on the idea that your man will get up one fine morning as an entirely changed man, with all the qualities you wished your dream man had. Nothing like that is ever going to happen. You need to understand that some characteristics are ingrained in a person and is not possible to change.