Why We Lose Interest in People Who Show Too Much Interest in Us

Why We Lose Interest in People Who Show Too Much Interest in Us

Why do most people lose interest in people who seemingly show a lot of interest in them, and try to make them feel all-important?

Many times or at least one point in life, we have always run after something that we very well know is unattainable. We know that we are just wasting our time or it is never going to work. So, why did we continue to pursue it?

It’s in human nature to long for what we can’t have. When we feel someone is too good for us and is unattainable then our ego-driven minds compel us to give it a shot, try it – own it; it’s like a challenge, a feat we want to accomplish. Like in the movies, one character falls for another who appears to be out of their league. Being in love has merely changed to being in awe of someone. Loving them or being loved is not the goal but making them fall for you and boost your ego, is the ulterior motive.

So, why do people lose interest when someone showers a lot of attention and love on them? Well, experts seem to have cracked that mystery.

Why We Lose Interest in People Who Show Too Much Interest in Us

Have you ever thought why the woman you like suddenly started giving you the cold shoulder? Read The Real Reason Why Women Lose Interest In Men

It seems like when someone shows a lot of enthusiasm and interest in being with a person, it is a sign that the relationship has the potential to progress. Now, the more a relationship blossoms, the more serious and intimate it becomes, right? And with intimacy comes a lot of vulnerability. Many people tend to withdraw from a relationship in such a situation because they are petrified of being vulnerable and getting hurt in the process.

Another potential reason for this kind of a predicament is the fact that a lot of people connect chasing someone’s affection and love with having something worthwhile to fight for. It’s like if they don’t work hard for it or pursue it relentlessly, then it’s not worth having.

Is the man you are dating suddenly seems very disinterested towards you? Read 6 Things That Make Men Suddenly Lose Interest When Dating

Also, people tend to lose interest in such situations if the other person comes across as someone emotionally dependent or desperate. For example, if you send 5 texts in one minute, you might come across as someone over-eager and who doesn’t have anything better to do with their time.

Now, this reason might seem a bit ludicrous but it is a big potential factor. Many people tend to chase people who are better than them, in order to have the “perfect” children. Human nature makes us go for people who we think are strong, intelligent and able. From a biological point of view, it makes perfect sense that we would want someone who is better than us in every aspect.

We want a partner with greater worth than ourselves. This insecurity messes things up and always gets in the way of happiness. When someone likes us too much we think they are flawed and have less value. When someone likes us just enough, we think they have equal value. But when someone doesn’t reciprocate at all, we suddenly see a future with them. Weird, isn’t it?

If you take a deeper look into this, you will realize that most of the time, such people suffer from a humongous amount of self-doubt and inferiority complex. They feel that they are not worthy of love, and do not deserve to have it in their lives. A thought like “How can you like someone so insignificant, imperfect and unimportant like me?” Keep in mind that this is not the truth, it is something that they believe about themselves.

Do you suffer from self-doubt and low self-confidence? Read 50 Questions To Ask Yourself To Know Your Deepest Insecurities

37 thoughts on “Why We Lose Interest in People Who Show Too Much Interest in Us”

  1. It is such a paradox, just like anything in life. If everyone stop getting interested in the unattainable, then there won’t be anyone interested in us either, to whom we could give chance to. And the one the ideal one, for whom people are after, if s/he is reading it, their ego is going to burst actually.

  2. Interesting article! Thank you for writing it. To some degree it helped me understand. something similar to this happened to me when the wife I loved deeply left me for another man. I had hoped that by now the pain would have subsided but it still hurts a lot. I’ve thought about my marriage for a long time, looking for mistakes I made, and so on. I guess people change over time, or perhaps they don’t know what they really want. Both of us made mistakes, that’s for sure. This I do know, however. I will never open my heart to that kind of hurt again. I will never love so deeply or care so much. No partner will ever again become the center of my world. I will not ever again put any partner ahead of my own wants, needs, desires or pleasure. The cost of love is too great, and it’s a cost paid in blood and tears.

    1. i am truly sorry for what you have gone through with your ex. but i don’t think it is quite fair to judge or give your half-baked love to someone who comes next to fill in the void in your heart and life! women like me have been treated unfairly by men, too. but it wouldn’t stop me from giving all of me to the man who would be willing to take another chance in love. we can never quantify love. we just need to feel it and give unselfishly. maybe you should try to forgive your ex. you are not ready for another shot in love yet. but when the time comes, just give everything . love can be cruel. it is part of loving and living. i wish you well, gb! go in peace!

  3. “When I give, it does not come with strings attached. I’m not keeping track of what you owe me. When I give, I choose to do so without ulterior motives. I give because I know what it’s like to be without. To long for and be ignored; to speak and not be heard; to care for and have nothing returned. When I give, it’s because I know the value in what I have in my heart, and I refuse to let the world stop me from sharing that. But when things start being taken for granted, when you no longer appreciate my sincerity, I won’t switch, I won’t get angry, and I won’t be spiteful. I’ll just get smart and change your role in my life. Because when I give, I’m all in. But when I’m done, there’s no looking back.”
    – Rob Hill, Sr.

  4. I’m a very open minded person and like just aboput everybody…but am very selective as towhom I let in my innercircle-I choose quality over quantity and a person needs to earn my trust….I’m a very loving and loyal person to my selected pack…and I also love and respect myself and won’t enable a toxic person to stay in my energy….I make an effort with people I genuinely care about-but if they don’t show a mutual interest or make a mutual effort-I lose interest….one sided friendships and unrequited feelings are unbalanced and don’t work…if someone genuinely cared about you they would mae an effort-not just uou making the phone calls….and there have been toxic people who showed interest only with an ulterior motive in mind…they are not authentic…if you have to chase after someone for time or attention they are telling you they are not interested…they are not worth your emotional investment…choose your investment in quality human beings ….make room for people who deserve that investment…if a person does not show a mutual interest or they are overbearing-then it is time to “lose interest” respect yourself enough to walk away….

    1. and I guess I’m not normal with human nature-cause I don’t want anyone in my lfe who does not feel the same way or show that they want me in their’s…quite frankly I think it is a turn off….as much as an overbearing ,insecure -,needy or clingy toxic person…yes-that will definitely push someone away

  5. it took me 16 yrs to realise that and another 16 to realise the man of my dreams does not exist – he does but he’s married 🙁 :)…

  6. I tell you what, with my humble life experience, such thing happened in your unlucky day to get interested in someone who is: ignorant or/and with very low self-esteem or/and with some mental illness . e.g. Schizophrenia or/and low educational level or/and who does not worth a dam or/and used to be treated like a scumbag or/and he/she experienced a bad love relationship in the past and once you showed some interests it is time to revenge to let you feel whatever he/she has felt that time..
    The solution: –
    1- Be informed that a “normal” person would respect your interest and give it a high value, even if there was no mutual interest, still the normal person, respect you politely and keep you safe of any negative reactions. why? because the normal person would not be get hurt just because you get interested in him,/her. actually that is some kind of positive energy would boost him/her to go on in life on daily basis. once the normal person set the relationship bounders, both of you would be okay with each other
    2- A normal person would feel “safe” and comfy when he/she is with that someone who has the some kind of interest. Even so, both parties must define “interest” to go on with the flow, eg. “interest” could be “sex” , “love , “business” , “marriage” or “friendship” or anything else, it’s still interest in the end.
    3- A normal person, indeed have some high self-esteem and values, with a great sense of humanity toward others around him.
    4- A sick person would not go for normal persons! He/ she avoids normal persons, why? He/she needs challenges and thrills in rejections to feel that he/she is a normal person or/and emphasize to himself/herself that he/she is a normal person with real values, even deep inside that sick person knows he/she is just a piece of sh!t with fake values and fake self-esteem.
    5- A sick person is someone who is empty inside and insecure, who got a lot of spare time, bored and have nothing to do with their sh!tty life, once they found someone they do like, and that one doesn’t care, it’s fun time baby! let’s spend the time with that challenge and make his/her life sh!tty as ours…

  7. This is not always true. Sometimes you just don’t like a person romantically or maybe you don’t feel an element of trust with them, so they’re good as friends and you may love them but not necessarily be in love with them….

  8. If I really f???ed my life and I know it how the f do ya bury it keep movin’ forward
    And I’m old should if known better does this happen to other people?

  9. Prerna Jain this is exactly the strategy I use to get rid of some people… show too much interest in them. They will walk away themselves and stay away too :p haha It’s too much fun.

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