Your deepest insecurities are stealthily influencing your life.
The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel. – Steven Furtick
Every one of us is insecure about one thing or the other. We all function with insecurity every day. Some people perpetually struggle with them, some are trying to get over it, some have bravely embraced them while a few others are unaware of it.
If you imagine yourself devoid of insecurities, you reach a state of perfection – a flawless functioning individual.
But, here you go, when people try to mend themselves too far to achieve what is unachievable, they lose their individuality and uniqueness.
One of the main reasons for being insecure is covered by what the above-mentioned quote by Steven – we compare our factual flaws with the illusion of utopia. Instead of focusing on what is so unique about us, something that makes us who we are, we always look forward to what others have and we don’t. We will never stop comparing and never be satisfied with what we have.
Hence, our insecurities will never be completely erased. Nevertheless, one must try to understand and embrace one’s flaws and insecurities and make the best out of it.
As Kobe Bryant says,
I have self-doubt. I have insecurity. I have a fear of failure. I have nights when I show up at the arena and I’m like, ‘My back hurts, my feet hurt, my knees hurt. I don’t have it. I just want to chill.’ We all have self-doubt. You don’t deny it, but you also don’t capitulate to it. You embrace it.
When you know your insecurities you can face them well, smile and be friends with them.
Here are 50 questions that will bring out the core of your insecurities and help you be more courageous at handling them effectively:
While asking yourself these questions, it is necessary for you to authentically answer to yourself.
1. What are the things that make you anxious?
2. How often do you seek other people’s approval?
3. What do other people say is the thing in you they find most annoying?
4. What are your value systems?
5. What is important for you, being yourself or being what other people want you to be?
6. What are the qualities you wish you possessed?
7. How often do you feel irrationally jealous of others?
8. Have you ever lowered your standards to get something you wanted?
9. Do good qualities in other people, bother you, even to the slightest?
10. Do you feel being imperfect is perfectly natural?
11. Do you often engage in negative self-talk?
12. Does engaging in self-sabotaging activities give you a weird sense of pleasure?
13. What is the craziest thing that you have ever done in order to avoid failure?
14. Are you okay with other people disliking you?
15. Does it bother you when you see other people get what you think you deserve?
16. Are you being true to yourself?
17. At what stage of a relationship are you most likely to withdraw emotionally?
18. What is your biggest flaw that you like to rationalize to keep going in life?
19. How do you handle criticism?
20. How do you react to other people having an opinion different from you?
21. Is it your fear of commitment or your fear of intimacy that makes you shut down more?
22. Do you avoid your true feelings just because they make you feel uncomfortable?
23. If need be, will you engage in playing mind games?