What we miss along the way is that the more we try to fix our emotional suffering, the more our anguish actually deepens and increases.
The more we try to mend and repair ourselves, the more broken we feel.
Isn’t that an odd paradox? What an irony.
The reason why it’s impossible for us to “fix” emotional suffering is that the very act of trying to fix our pain makes it worse. The very act of trying to change what we’re feeling is a form of resistance, and the more we resist, the more our suffering persists.
The more we think “I shouldn’t be feeling this way, I need to change this,” the deeper we drive our despair. And the deeper we despair, the more intensely we search for a fix to our problem.
Can you see the cycle that emerges?
Can you see how trying to fix pain actually makes it worse?
The Answer to a Bleeding Heart
The only way to end the cycle of pain, spiritual addiction, and constant desire to “fix” yourself is by courting your emotions.
Courting your emotions is about being attentive to them, listening to them, honoring them, and letting them melt into your heart – just as you would with a lover.
Your anxiety is anxious about itself. Your anguish is anguished with itself. Your hatred is hateful towards itself. Your loneliness feels lonely with itself. The only way you can liberate yourself from your emotional suffering is by opening your heart to all of these emotions unconditionally.
Every painful, tortuous feeling must be given rest in your heart. Every disturbing sensation must be accepted exactly as it is, without you wanting it to change. Every one of your emotions must be met, felt with compassion, and allowed safe passage in your heart.
Love is the energy of the heart, and it is the only doorway through which your painful emotions can pass. When you try to “fix” these emotions, you keep them stranded in the body. You are essentially telling whatever painful emotion you’re experiencing, “You’re not good enough, I don’t like you, I want to get rid of you.” What message does this send to your emotions? What message does this send to yourself?
Your emotional anguish craves for love, for true unconditional love. Your pain thirsts for comfort, solace, and nurturing. Instead of sending your pain the message that you hate it, you need to treat it as a mother, father, friend, or lover would. Open your arms to this pain, allow compassion to clothe it, and it will melt through the doorway in your heart and be released.
Your heart has its own intelligence. This has even been proven scientifically by the Heartmath Institute. The intelligence of your heart knows how to overcome fear. The intelligence of your heart is love, and love embraces the darkest and dimmest emotions you have.
This love I speak of isn’t conditional – it doesn’t expect or want anything from your emotions. All it desires is to express its overflowing abundance of empathy, kindness, and benevolence. All the heart desires is to show love.