Why Saying No Is Key To Your Happiness

 / 

, ,
saying no is key to your happiness

“What’s helped with saying no to others is asking myself first if I’m saying yes out of guilt or fear. If so, then it’s a polite no.” ― Neil Strauss,

One topic that’s a constant with my clients is difficulty around saying No. “No,” to some, tends to feel rejecting, rude, lazy, and can be thought of as selfish. These are some of the false validations that keep us from saying No. When we’re always saying “yes” out of guilt and pressure to do so we will become people pleasers. As we chronically and blindly say “Yes” to most everything, our people-pleasing ways increase and we start to lose a sense of self.

To make it clear & simple; Saying No is actually a big, fat, amazing boundary…… and, wait for it, boundaries are good! 

“No” is not a negative; It’s necessary. 

Saying No is one of the most important skills that you can learn for it’s the phrase that’s going to allow you to truly prioritize what’s important to you. If you say “Yes” to everything, what’s significant to you will get only scraps of your time. This is where problems arise, my friends.

Just to clarify, I’m all for saying “Yes” to those things that are going to help you learn, grow and encourage you to expand. I’m. All. For. It. There’s absolutely a time to say “I’m going for it” and take the leap. 

However, it’s essential to protect the energy and time that you only have so much of in a day. In order to be mindful of the limited daily supply of your energy, you have to prioritize what’s significant to you. This will require you to say “No” to some people and experiences.

If saying No is a struggle for you, let’s get into some clear tips to help you say “No” with more confidence and peace in your heart.

Related: How Healthy Boundaries Help Protect Your Personal Space

Why Saying No Is Key To Your Happiness

Accept That Some People Are Going To Dislike Your “No”

I don’t think any of us will escape experiencing people who want us to do what they want us to do. When we say “No” within these relationships, it will present us with a challenge. Maybe this “challenge” presents as passive-aggressive comments or feedback that baits us to feel guilty for honoring ourselves.

If we’ve been navigating these specific relationships by appeasing them with our people-pleasing behaviors by chronically saying “Yes,” then there will be kickback. We’ll have to face this kickback by working through it as we begin to say “Yes” to our needs and “No” to what these relationships want from us.

People who are used to us saying “yes” all the time will be taken back when we introduce boundaries into the relationship. Some relationships will reconfigure and find a happy medium, while others might dissipate as the relationship could only BE if we deny our needs. This truth can be really hard to swallow. Make sure you have the support you need, especially if the relationship in question is a pivotal relationship that has a lot of strings attached. 

The good news is that if you hold your boundary, your relationships will be better for it. This, in turn, can greatly improve your life as it weeds out people who really aren’t there for your best interest and allows you to carry on honoring your badass self. Cheers to that. 

importance of saying no

Accept That You’re Going To Miss Out On Some Things And (Hopefully) Enjoy The Unplanned

When you say “No” to one thing, you’re consequently saying “Yes” to something else that you might not be able to foresee. For example, have you ever been really bummed out that you couldn’t make the trip or go to the “thing” and then when the day rolled around another really amazing opportunity popped into your life?

Realize that life is full of unexpected goodies if you allow the space and time for the unknown. When you say “No,” you’re allowing more time and space for organic opportunities and “life itself “to play out without your interception. This is when things can get really interesting. 

Related: Personal Boundaries: 9 Core Boundaries To Live By

Practice The Art Of Discernment

The tricky part of saying No is when experiences present that you really want to say “Yes” too. Sometimes, because of honoring your values and what’s significant to you, you have to say “No” in order to keep your moral code in line. This can be really challenging.

There will be times, maybe few and far between, where your decision to say “Yes” or “No” will have a severe impact. Some opportunities will challenge your character by presenting the temptation that if we don’t say “No” too will create a lot of pain and havoc for us. (And usually others.)

Maybe this means saying No to the attractive co-worker because you’re committed to someone else. Maybe this means saying No to the amazing trip to Mexico because it falls over your Mom’s birthday, and it’s important for you to honor her.

Decision-making can become really complicated if you let it and aren’t straight with your morals and values. However, if you take the time to center, get quiet and truly evaluate what’s important to you in this life, the struggle will not be so intense when it’s decision time.

This will be so if you’ve spent the time to find clarity on what’s true for you. Using discernment to honor what virtues you want to hold close and dear will help you greatly in these tricky situations that life will throw at you on a small or large scale.

Well, that’s all I have for now. I wanted to keep this short and sweet. If you take anything away from this post, a significant piece is that saying No represents you honoring and respecting yourself. There’s an art to what you say “Yes” too and what you say “No” too.

Only you have the inner knowing of what’s the “right” answer given the situation. When in doubt, hone the concept of balance and trust yourself.

Keep close to your heart what’s important for you and that will help you navigate the decisions that are constantly coming your way. Cheers.

Want to know more about the importance of saying no? Check this video out below!


Written By Kim Egel  
Originally Appeared On Kim Egel  
saying no is key to your happiness pin

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply



Up Next

Focus Like A Monk: What Is Monk Mode And 10 Ways It Can Help You Succeed In Life 

What is Monk Mode and How Can It Transform Your Life?

Do you find it hard to focus on a task? Do you get easily distracted? Not sure how to enter a flow state and do your best? If you are looking for ways to focus amidst the chaos and find some inner peace, then let me introduce you to the fascinating concept of “Monk Mode.” What is monk mode, you ask?

If you have been on social media lately, you must have heard about monk mode, a concept that has been gaining a lot of attention on TikTok. Based on the mindset and lifestyle of disciplined monks, this process allows us to reach our peak productivity.

So let us delve into the depths of monk mode, explore the myriad monk mode benefits, and provide practical tips on how to get into monk mode to transform your life.

What is M



Up Next

14 Benefits Of Visualization And How To Harness It’s Power

Benefits Of Visualization And How To Harness It's Power

The power of visualization is not something that a lot of people might know about. However, once you know how to harness it’s power, you will see that the benefits of visualization can be endless. Explore the power of creative visualization and it’s benefits.

“The man who has no imagination has no wings.” —Mohammad Ali

You’re probably familiar with the old saying, “Seeing is believing.” Well, it’s this adage’s simple concept that’s at the core of a powerful form of mental exercise called visualization. This practice isn’t just for casual daydreamers, though.



Up Next

How To Be Less Nervous And More Confident? 15 Sentences To Change Your Mindset

How To Be Less Nervous And More Confident? Cool Ways

Feeling anxious and wondering how to be less nervous? Well, you’re not alone—everyone gets jittery from time to time.

But here’s the thing: nerves are just a part of being human, and there’s nothing to worry about. In fact, let me share 15 sentences that might just help if you’re thinking about how to make yourself less nervous.

You’re NOT feeling fear – it’s excitement. The tingling sensation that runs down your spine is your body’s way of telling you to get ready for what’s coming next. Instead of being scared, try and think about how thrilling this journey will be.



Up Next

8 Formidable Habits Of Stress-Resistant Minds

Habits Of Stress-Resistant Minds: Great Signs Of Resilience

We all know life can really test us sometimes, and it feels like a never-ending roller-coaster ride that’s all about deadlines, bills, responsibilities and unexpected curveballs. It’s easy to give into the stress of it all and lose our s***, but that doesn’t help, does it? Today we are going to talk about a few habits of stress-resistant minds and how you can be one of them.

Becoming the Zen master of your own mind is sometimes easier said than done, however, having a calm mind is one of the most underrated superpowers there is. People with stress resistant minds know that high levels of anxiety and reactivity will not help them deal with tricky situations.

Trying to build a resilient mindset is one of the best things you can do for yourself and your mental peace. So, are you ready to know the habits of stress-resistant minds? Let’s get started.



Up Next

Mastering The Art Of Influence: How The Power Of Suggestion Can Shape Your Reality

How to use the power of suggestion: Tips

Have you ever experienced a situation where the power of suggestion influenced your thoughts, decisions, or actions? 

Perhaps a friend recommended a book, and you found yourself engrossed in its pages. Or maybe you were persuaded to try a new restaurant and ended up discovering your new favorite cuisine. These instances demonstrate how a simple suggestion can shape our perceptions, beliefs, and behaviors in ways we may not even realize. 

Let’s explore what is the power of suggestion, how it can impact our lives and how to use the power of suggestion. So, fasten your seatbelts as we embark on a journey to uncover the hidden potential within us all.

What is The Power of Suggestion?



Up Next

4 Zodiac Signs With Tunnel Vision: Are You Narrowing Your Focus?

Zodiac Signs With Tunnel Vision (Narrow Focus)

Feeling stuck and can’t seem to change? Here are 4 zodiac signs with tunnel vision. They get so focused on one idea or task that they forget about everything else.

Focusing is like looking through a tube, everything else around us gets blurry. It happens to our eyes and cameras too, this phenomenon is known as “tunnel vision“. Some people do this more than others when it comes to thoughts.

These four signs are like that. They’re so set in their ways that they can’t see other possibilities. So, without ado let’s take a look at the zodiac signs that suffer from tunnel vision and how they can overcome it.



Up Next

Trust And Commitment: Why Every Happy Relationship Needs It

Trust And Commitment In A Relationship: Important Things

A thriving relationship is built on trust and commitment. Let’s delve into the elements that are vital for happiness and security in your love life.

Believe me when I say, a happy relationship is IMPOSSIBLE without trust and commitment. Don’t believe me? Keep reading.

Love is like Legos. In each passing moment, we are either building a wall between ourselves and our lover or a bridge into each other’s hearts.

Each Lego is an interaction between romantic partners. The deciding factor of whether we open or protect our hearts is the quality of trust.

“Without trust, there can be no meaningful connection.” – Brene Brown