When I Say I Miss You, This Is What I Mean

When I say I miss you, what I mean is that, every little thing reminds me of you.

When I say I miss you, what I mean is that, I dream of you.

I can’t hold you. I can’t touch you. I can’t feel your warm embrace because of the distance between us. It scares me when I find the other side of my bed empty with no one to hold and it terrifies me of not knowing when I’m going to have your arms being wrapped around my body again. But I know even we are miles apart, we are still linked by our love. I still dream of you each night, kissing and holding me.

When I say I miss you, what I mean is that, I’m wishing.

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I’m wishing that one day, there will be no miles, no hours, no ocean and mountains that will ever separate you from me and we will both lie down underneath the stars, making promises that you and I will never be apart anymore. I’m wishing that there will be no more goodbyes because every time I utter the word, I die a little.

When I say I miss you, what I mean is that, I’m happy.

You make me feel genuinely happy every time I think of you. I’m happy because your absence in my life makes my heart grow fonder. I am happy when I listen to the sound of the wind and hear you softly whispering your love to me. The happiness is in me every time I hear your breathing over the phone 4,921 miles away from me.

When I say I miss you, what I mean is that, I crave for you.

Your absence makes me crave for your touch, your lips softly touching mine. I long for the way your body radiates into mine and how the embers of your heart glow with love and happiness in each moment when we’re together doing things that we love. I long to see each and every detail of your face that always forms an attractive silhouette.

When I say I miss you, what I mean is that, I remember you.

In the most desperate moments, I remember you. I remember everything- what you said, what you did and just how much of me that belongs to you. I always remember the way you pretend not to notice me when I do something dumb and the way you grin when you’re up to something. I always remember the late-night talks over a glass of red wine or dinner. I always remember you when you’re kissing my forehead, my eyes and the tip of my nose while playing with my silky rumpled black hair. It always comes to my mind the tangy and elusive scent that fills my nostrils and tease my senses. I remember those late cold nights and our bed is somewhere there with those crumpled sheets and soft pillows around us. I remember waking up with you every morning, waking up with your touch and waking up with your voice whispering my name. I remember you crying about the distance between us.

When I say I miss you, what I mean is that, I see you.

I see you in every lovely summer day. I see you in the morning sun. I see you in every song I hear. Each song reminds me of your beautiful sleepy-hooded eyes. Each song brings a certain glow. I see you in every cup of coffee that I smell each morning. I always see you, everywhere.

And did I ever tell you that when say I miss you, what I mean is that, I need you because I love you?

I honestly love you. I really do. And I won’t stop missing you until you’re in my arms again.

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Bea Pilotin - Writer
A woman who is passionate about coherent words.
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