Fear is the most damnable thing to humans in this whole world. Read on to know how to kick fear in the face and live the life you want.
I love the song Drive by Incubus. It’s about fear, and how you can either choose to let fear drive you, or you can take the wheel and steer down your own path, making your own decisions based on what is true to who you are, instead of making them to avoid what you are afraid of.
Drive by Incubus
Sometimes I feel the fear of the uncertainty stinging clear
And I can’t help but ask myself how much I’ll let the fear take the wheel and steer
It’s driven me before, and it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal
Lately I’m beginning to find that I should be the one behind the wheel
Whatever tomorrow brings I’ll be there
With open arms and open eyes, yeah
Whatever tomorrow brings I’ll be there, I’ll be there
So if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive
Will I choose water over wine and hold my own and drive, oh-oh-oh
It’s driven me before, and it seems to be the way
That everyone else gets around
Lately, I’m beginning to find that when I drive myself, my light is found
Fear exists to protect you, and fear is always going to be there. Always. You can’t just pretend it isn’t there. What you can do though, is to acknowledge it and let it come with you for the ride. But, you can make it sit in the back seat, and you can also set the rules.
Your ground rules for fear might be that it’s allowed to let you know how it feels. It’s allowed to warn you of things. It’s allowed to accompany you if it feels the need. BUT, it’s not allowed to make decisions. It’s not allowed to prevent you from doing things. And it’s definitely not allowed to drive.
When you let fear drive, you miss out.
When Fear Kicks in, What do you miss out on?
You miss out on opportunities and experiences
If you are afraid, you won’t step outside your comfort zone and try something new. And, as I always tell my kids – outside your comfort zone is where the magic happens.
A missed opportunity might be not getting a promotion at work because you were afraid to be the one to present sales numbers at your executive meeting. It might be not starting a new business that could be awesome because you were afraid of what would happen if you fail.
Missed experiences might be meeting someone new – whether a new friend or romantic partner – because you were afraid to try something new, either because you were afraid of the unknown, or you were afraid of looking stupid because you haven’t done it before.
You miss out on using your creativity
You might be afraid of what others think of your creative ideas, so you never try. You’re not only robbing yourself of the chance to exercise your creativity, the rest of the world is missing out on experiencing the creativity you have to offer.
You miss out on connection
If you’re afraid of not being liked or fitting in with others, you might hide certain parts of yourself that other people might really connect with if they were able to get to know you. You may be afraid of sharing your true self with others as a mode of protecting yourself, so you shift into being someone you think you should be. You might connect with the wrong people, missing out on the opportunity to connect with people who are more aligned with who you truly are.
You miss out on feeling worthy.
Doing things you are afraid of provides a feeling of accomplishment. Wow, I did something hard. I kicked ass and it feels DAMN GOOD! It’s such a great feeling and it even if you don’t kick ass at it, you will still feel brave for trying. Plus, sometimes failing is a good thing. There are lessons to be learned, and remember… falling down is only permanent if you don’t get up. So, in a sense, you are also taking away an opportunity to learn from your mistakes.