So you messed up big time! Now that guilt has taken you over, you feel you need to apologize to your woman and set things right. But saying sorry and asking forgiveness is not that easy, even if you do mean it.
The concise guide to those moments in your marriage
Once you learn how to apologize for the right way in your marriage, forgiveness is sure to follow but it’s not always instant.
Marriage is one of the most rewarding but complex relationships that ever existed. The highs are awesome, but the lows can sometimes be unbearable.
The fact is that marriage brings together imperfect human beings: men who stumble and women who make blunders. As a result, many mistakes are made in the course of the marriage, including apologies.
Fighting and disagreements in a relationship are normal. Although small mistakes will not initially hurt your married life, your relationship still requires maintenance.
But, if you’ve left your maintenance too long, the following things happen:
- You do not acknowledge your mistakes.
- You justify your mistakes.
- You become defensive when you have wronged your wife.
Doing these will eventually drive your wife away. Since making mistakes is inevitable in marriage, knowing how to make things right makes all the difference so that you will eventually be forgiven.
Do you know how to apologize to your wife and ask for her forgiveness?
Men and women regard apologies from very different perspectives. For a woman, apologizing is a way to reconnect with someone whose feelings she hurt. She also sees apologizing as a routine aspect of relationships.
Men, on the other hand, view apologizing as a humiliating situation that makes them lose face. Acknowledging wrongdoing may also make some guys feel diminished. As a result, not only are men reluctant to apologize, but they do not know how to apologize, sufficiently.
These differences are a source of massive stress for many marriages.
There comes a time in your relationship when knowing how to ask for forgiveness from your wife will make all the difference in your relationship.
- Made a joke in front of other people that you thought was funny that terribly embarrassed your wife?
- Shared a private secret with a third person that your wife had trusted you to keep?
- Neglected your wife by spending too much time at work or with friends?
- Made a bad financial decision that has affected your family negatively?
- Forgotten to share an essential piece of information with your wife?
- Said something hurtful to your wife in the middle of an argument?
Here are 7 ways to apologize and ask your wife for forgiveness.
1. Listen to her perspective
Many times, you may not grasp the gravity of the situation or even understand what you have done to hurt your wife. To apologize effectively, you must have the right perspective so that you can know precisely how the situation looks to your wife.
Give your wife a chance to share with you her feelings. You may not really understand, but your wife would not be upset without a good reason. The answers are all there if you only listen and ask questions.
2. Take responsibility
Give up the need to be right and accept responsibility for how you have made your wife feel. Accept your wife’s feelings and place the blame squarely on yourself.
Accepting responsibility for your actions will help to diffuse your wife’s anger. Until you admit that you are wrong, your apology will not be genuine and meaningful.
3. Express how sorry you are and ask for forgiveness
Now that you have understood the gravity of the effect of your actions, let your wife know how sorry you are. Your apology must be more than just a simple “I’m sorry.” It has to be sincere — a sincere apology helps rebuild trust and restore the connection with your wife.
Expressing your regret is a prudent way of demonstrating your remorse for your wife’s hurt feelings. Remember, your body language must go together with your words. It would really help if you actually look remorseful.
4. Make amends
Make it clear to your wife that you want to fix things and if there is something that she needs from you to make things right, you are willing to do it. You may negotiate to make it up to her, but the essential thing is to express your readiness to do something to compensate for your mistakes.
Whatever you do, do not:
- Make excuses for your wrongful actions.
- Minimize your wife’s pain.
- Tell your wife how and when to forgive you.
- Take this opportunity to point out how your wife caused you pain.
- Pretend that your wife’s wounds will go away just because you apologized.