Skip to content

6 Best Tips For A Great Valentine’s Day

Best Tips Great Valentines Day

Valentine’s Day can be a great day for some people, and a not-so-great one for some. If you belong to the latter category, then a few useful tips might help you spend Valentine’s Day in a better and happier way. Here are some special tips for Valentine’s Day to make it a memorable one.

Valentine’s Day creates lots of expectations that are often unrealized. It’s fraught with landmines and expectations, often unrealized, and whether you’re in or out of a relationship. But the grass isn’t always greener. Is your situation described here? Read six tips for having a great holiday.

Here Are The Valentine’s Day Traps To Avoid to have a great Valentine’s Day

1. You’re Alone.

I can recall Valentine’s Days when I wished I were in love with someone who loved me, too. Worse, were Valentine’s Days when I missed an ex or spent time thinking about someone who wasn’t in love with me. Looking back, what was sad was that I made myself unhappy and ruined days thinking about “if only.”

2. You’re in a New Relationship.

Another Valentine’s trap happens when you’re newly in love. It may be the first Valentine’s Day of your relationship, and you wonder whether your partner will surprise you with something special. Will he or she hopefully say the unmentionable, four-letter L-word or ignore the day completely?

You’re stressed about whether your card should be funny or mushy. Fears of humiliation and abandonment may restrain you from being more vulnerable about your feelings than your partner. You don’t want your feelings rejected or to scare off him or her.

If you’re a guy, you could be afraid of hurting her feelings by not doing or saying enough, yet are reticent to do or say too much, which might be misinterpreted as a commitment you’re not prepared to make.

Related: 8 Romantic Ideas To Spice Up Your Valentine’s Day

3. You’re in a Fight.

A terrible situation on Valentine’s Day is to be in a fight with your partner. Any other day wouldn’t be as painful, but on Valentine’s Day, your worst fears and disappointments about your partner and the relationship are heightened. In addition to being hurt or angry about the argument, you contrast your feelings with how you imagine the day should be and how you want to feel.

Another unhappy situation is if your partner is an addict. You don’t have to be fighting to be on eggshells all day and disappointed because he or she is practicing an addiction or ignoring you. It’s hard to generate loving feelings seeing your wife neglecting the children or drunk all day.

He may be looking for a fight to avoid admitting he didn’t plan anything or doesn’t want to go out. You can easily spend the entire day looking and waiting for cues, wondering whether or not you will spend the evening together.

4. You’re in a Dull or Dead Relationship.

Many couples in long relationships have lost the spark of love. Valentine’s Day can be a cruel reminder or an opportunity to rekindle intimacy. When romance fades, it can be replaced with love based on deep caring and shared life experiences.

You might decide not to do anything special. Yet you can still acknowledge your love for each other — even if it’s not romantic love, it’s deep and abiding.

Some relationships have died. Intimacy’s gone, but you may feel trapped and can’t let go, whether due to age, children, health, or finances. Usually, despite those reasons, there’s a deep attachment. Often one person imagines he or she is staying for the other and is in denial of his or her own attachment needs and fears about leaving.

5. You’re in a Loving Relationship.

You’re among the fortunate few if you’re in a long, loving relationship. Valentine’s Day may still present problems, especially for husbands who don’t want to disappoint their wives. You can get caught in the dilemma of not being able to decide whether to surprise your wife or ask her what she’d like. It’s okay to ask.

Pages: 1 2

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT

Darlene Lancer is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and an expert author on relationships and codependency. She's counseled individuals and couples for 30 years and coaches internationally. Her books and other online booksellers and her website.View Author posts