In romance, there are few big first impressions we get to make on each other, and kissing might be the biggest one of them all. I’ve heard many people say that they went on dates with bad kissers and it was a deal-breaker for them. Why? Because how you kiss is a microcosm of how you will be as a partner (and lover).
Just like handshakes, you can tell a lot about a person by the way they kiss. It broadcasts their confidence, level of passion, and gives you a taste of their sexual energy.
Whether you’re about to kiss someone new or have already been kissing someone for a while and just want to improve your skills – this is your ultimate guide for how to kiss, and how to be a better kisser. I’m going to cover all kinds, for all situations.
First, let’s go deeper into why this is such an important skill.
The Overlooked Importance Of Kissing Well
In the beginning, a kiss is usually the first real jump in a human interaction that says, “we’re not just friends,” and opens the potential of getting more intimate. Because of that, there’s a lot of weight and charge around that moment.
Just think about the build-up. You’re flirting, reading each other, watching for the right moment, hesitating, then finally going for it. It’s incredibly fun. Some people find their first kiss with someone even more memorable than having sex, because the bridge to intimacy has already been crossed, and there’s often less tension and stress around taking things to the next levels.
Related: 6 Best Kissers of The Zodiacs
Because of all that tension, there’s a lot riding on this moment. I don’t mean to freak anybody out and add a bunch of pressure. Just stating this insight as an encouragement to practice and put your best foot (and lips) forward.
Most first kisses are just that – a kiss. They don’t lead to anything further until a little later on in the relationship. It might be the way you end a great date or a night out together. It’s what you’ll both be grinning about (hopefully) for days to come until you see each other again.
On the other hand, if it’s a weird experience, one of you might walk away feeling underwhelmed and lose enthusiasm during those days apart (but I’m going to make sure that’s impossible for you).
Then, as you continue spending time with each other, various types of kissing are great tools for communication and feeding intimacy. In different moments, whether that’s to communicate your burning passion or tender adoration, a kiss can get the message across like nothing else. Besides using words, kissing is the most common way we express our affection and desire for each other.
How To Think About Kissing
Really, that paragraph heading should say how to “feel” about kissing, because it’s all about using your body, not your head. But for now, we’re in the briefing room talking logistics.
In so many ways, it is best to think about kissing like you think about dancing.
Like having sex, being a good kisser is like being a great dance partner. You have to be sensitive toward and aware of the other person. You have to calibrate to them in real-time – noting what they’re responding to, where they want to move, and how they want to move.
Do they want to move slower, or faster? Are they more subdued, or forwardly passionate? What style of kissing suits the moment the best?
You’re each swapping turns taking the lead. You’re constantly reading and reacting to each other’s subtle cues to determine where you’ll go next.