11 Types Of Men You Might Encounter When Dating Online

types of men you might encounter when dating online

Internet dating is an interesting prospect when it comes to finding love. In the world of internet dating, you will always come across certain types of men who are looking to be with someone and have a good time. Well, some of these men have the right intentions whereas some, not really.

For this article, I used experiences that women shared with me about online dating to describe 11 types of heterosexual men who are drawn to Internet dating. I realize, as do you, that there are infinite varieties of men who engage in online dating for infinite reasons.

Many more could be included on this list, and some men may fit into many categories. Still, in the world of online dating, some types seem more prevalent than others. Here are 11 categories of men you might encounter when dating online.

Here Are 11 Types Of Men You Will Come Across When Dating Online

1. Just Looking.

He fantasizes about a beautiful love life or sex life but has too much anxiety to actually let any potential connection leave his protective computer screen. He’s just not ready to involve himself in real-time dating with people he may connect with online.

There are many reasons why this happens, but at the core, he is not ready or able to begin a substantive relationship, regardless of what his profile says.

Rather, he moves from one online connection to the next, or back and forth between many, and he barely, if ever, leaves the house. Internet dating enables him not to engage in a meaningful way. When he needs a connection or the fantasy of a relationship, he can effectively “order out” for a date.

By avoiding actual human contact he isn’t forced to push his boundaries or risk challenging the perfection of his fantasy woman with the experience of a real-life woman. For many reasons, it is difficult for him to make room for something real.

2. Wide-Eyed But Distractable.

This primarily 20 to mid 30’s guy is excited about the possibility of expanding his horizons and meeting new people. He is bold, tolerant, open, and ready to explore what online dating has to offer.

Because Internet dating has been a part of his generational experience, he is more comfortable with it as a normal mode of communication and meeting people, and is generally more open to the process and experience.

Therefore, when he connects and makes plans online, he likely follows through, sometimes sooner, sometimes later. Either way, unlike the first type listed, he has probably had more positive than negative dating experiences overall, so he may be open right away or over time to a committed, authentic relationship.

However, given his age and other potential factors such as how easily distracted he is, once he discovers just how many choices he has online, he may become less interested in committing and more interested in continuing to look around. Nonetheless, if you’re looking for a fun couple of months, look no further. And it’s possible it could expand even further.

3. The Experimenters.

He believes that older women “know what they want.” He is typically 20 to mid-’30s and he wants older women often because he believes that they have much to teach him sexually, and this prospect excites him.

He realizes that the easiest way to access older women is online. He is typically at the age of sexual discovery and imagines that older women are not only more experienced and enticing but more available as well.

This can be a difficult and provocative situation for all parties involved, so proceed with caution. Most assumptions about how you and he will conduct your relationship are not as straightforward and as they may initially seem.

Related: 3 Reasons Why Women Prefer Dating Younger Men

4. Trying To Get Over The Ex.

He is looking to avoid being alone after a heart-wrenching breakup. Sometimes he will admit to the women he finds online that he is using Internet dating as a diversion, and sometimes he won’t. However, with patience and fortitude, there may be the possibility that a substantive relationship can develop.

After all, he has experienced love before, which is why he’s so heartbroken now, and why you encountered him online.

However, it is equally possible for him to remain non-committal when he is still hung up on someone else, so proceed with caution. Either way, these scenarios may take a long time to play out.

5. Already Taken.

He wants to know what else is out there, but won’t necessarily act on it. Or maybe he will. Either way, he is not planning to leave his current relationship but feels like he is missing out on something. Or perhaps something pivotal is missing in his relationship, and he wants to be reminded or reassured there is life beyond his current confines.

Regardless, this is not a man who can offer a serious, consistent relationship. Internet dating is an outlet for him and he is not planning to leave his partner anytime soon, if ever.

6. Lost In Fantasy.

How many profiles do you see that list things like amazing communicationamazing sex, must be in perfect shape as relationship must-haves? And how many of these criteria do you think are the direct result of the relationship he just came from?

More than finding a partner who will meet all of his hopes and dreams, he wants everything he has longed for but couldn’t have in previous relationships. (This category may also include the desire to act out sexual fantasies and fetishes that couldn’t previously be realized).

Interestingly, fantasy can be so powerful for him that when reality fails to compete, he finds ways to fade away. However, it may be possible for him to shift from fantasy to reality now or over time as he realizes he has to make some concessions if he wants to have a real partner. 

7. Lies About Age.

He is typically older, in his 50s, 60s, or even 70s, and is set on meeting and dating women significantly younger than he is, so he shaves years off his life in his profile, even in his “current”  pictures.

He may be very well-meaning and truly believe that once he meets these young women they will be so drawn to him that the deception won’t matter, and the age difference will be rendered irrelevant.

However, starting a relationship with a lie—no matter how “harmless” it may seem to him—takes away from the woman’s ability to use her own discretion and decision-making power and therefore erodes trust. When she inevitably finds out, she typically finds the age difference and the lie far more jarring than he had anticipated.

The longer he continues the lie, the worse the discovery is. Relationships that start by duping a partner don’t end well.

Related: 6 Guys Women Meet When They Date Online

8. Sooo Busy.

This is the former Ivy League rower, now a neurosurgeon who has chosen the Internet to meet women who are likely on their own tight timelines. He expects to meet other busy people and have a romance that is incredibly hot and connected… for the 30 minutes every week that work for him.

While he may be quite enticing because of how active and on top of his career he is, he has difficulty converting online dating into a substantive experience.

Often, his routines are crucial to him so he may fight with himself to make room in his life for a partner. If his tight schedule fits your own timeline or you’re okay squeezing the relationship into small chunks, that’s great (and it does have the possibility to evolve).

But be aware of how often he uses being too busy to avoid real-world connections because it can be easy to get caught up and strung along in this situation.

For many of these men, work, routines or even children may offset any sense of urgency or commitment to engage in the messy process of real-life dating.

9. Finally Successful With The Girls.

Earlier in life, he may have been intimidated by girls, but he has always been smart and ambitious. Despite his interest in girls when he was younger, it rarely if ever worked out. Sure enough, later in life, his ambition came to fruition—he became successful and got used to getting what he wants.

He is typically in his late 30s through early 50s and maybe divorced or single. Either way, he has come to realize that—to his surprise—he can now have most women he sets his sights on, and he hasn’t gotten over his good luck. Now he feels like a kid in a candy store. This may be the man that, just as online communication begins, asks if you’re naked.

Since he is used to getting things done quickly and directly in his professional life, and getting the girl now comes much more easily to him, he may not understand why he should have to jump through the hoops of flirtation, courtship, and romance to achieve what he might view as a mutually agreed upon the situation.

Make sure that to the best of your ability, you know what you want moving forward, as he may not be ready to commit any time soon, if ever.

10. Predators.

He dislikes women and looks for opportunities to shame or control them, typically as a response to painful previous experiences in his own life, or because his wiring is totally awry.

Beware: He is not easily detectable at times. He is not in control of himself and therefore looks to control others through any method he can. If you come across him, don’t engage.

11. Authentic Loving Partner.

He is looking for his partner in love and in life. Maybe sincerity comes with a little baggage, but so what? He is realistic in his expectations and is serious about being in a relationship. He is genuine and is not typically sidetracked by the number of choices available to him, once he has found you.

The question now is: Are you ready? Before starting a relationship with him, consider your own motivations for online dating.

It can be a frustrating, even painful process to encounter many of these types of online daters. But keep in mind these men may have become jaded and wary too, due to their own challenging online dating experiences. It’s much easier to be flaky and noncommittal online—for both you and for your dates—and that is in part why these categories exist in the first place.

Related: 10 Red Flags in Man Messages To Watch Out For When Dating Online

Without an in-person connection, the person on the other screen doesn’t seem “real” and that can enable both men and women to use online dating to gratify their own needs without regard for the person they have attracted.

However, despite these categories and the challenges of online dating, if you continue to act with authentic reciprocity, it’s likely that you’ll find the same in return.

Check out Dr. Lachmann’s personal website for more informative articles.


Written By Suzanne Lachmann 
Originally Appeared In Psychology Today

If you have ever come across these types of men in the world of internet dating, now you know what their deals are. The next time you cross paths with them, you now know which ones you should strictly avoid and which ones you can take a chance with. Remember that internet dating can sometimes be a slippery slope, but it’s not all that bad.

Types of Men Dating Online pin
Types Men Come Across Dating Online pin
types of men you might encounter when dating online pin

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *



Up Next

5 Signs Of Dating Burnout: Hitting The Wall in Love?

Signs Of Dating Burnout: Hitting The Wall in Love?

Ever felt like you’ve hit a brick wall in your love life? That’s dating burnout for you, and it’s more common than you think. It’s that overwhelming feeling when the search for “The One” starts to feel more like a chore than a journey of the heart. Let’s dive into the five telltale signs that you might be experiencing this modern love dilemma.

KEY POINTS

Burnout is usually characterized by a feeling that no matter what one does, nothing will improve, often leading to feelings of apathy.

One study found that 78 percent of adults aged 18-54 have experienced online dating burnout.



Up Next

Dating With Low Self Esteem? 6 Tips For Navigating The Dating Scene with Confidence

Dating With Low Self Esteem? Tips For Being More Confident

Ah, the exciting universe of dating! Dating in the modern world can feel like a rollercoaster filled with thrilling emotions and fluttering hearts. But what do you do when you suffer from low self esteem? What does it look like, dating with low self esteem?

Dating with low self esteem can feel as difficult as trying to solve a Rubik’s cube with one hand tied behind your back. Interactions may be marred by negative self-perceptions which can make you doubt your worth and desirability. However, don’t let that scare you, because low self-esteem does not necessarily mean doom.

In this article, we are going to t



Up Next

Qixi Festival: The Intriguing Origins And Traditions Of Chinese Valentine’s Day 

Qixi Festival: Traditions of Chinese Valentine's Day

Love stories have always gripped our hearts, going beyond cultures and decades. In China, there is a special celebration of romance and love known as Qixi Festival- the Chinese Valentine’s Day.

This magical event has a unique place in the hearts of the Chinese people and can be traced back to thousands of years. So let us dive into the story behind Chinese Valentine’s Day and learn more about the Chinese Qixi festival.

Qixi Festival: The Chinese Valentine’s Day

Qixi (Qīxījié) Festival, also known as Chinese Valentine’s Day, is an ancient event celebrated in China on July 7 of every year, as per the lunar calendar. The occasion draws heavily from Chinese mythologies



Up Next

Who’s The Most Playful In Relationships? 3 Zodiac Signs With Golden Retriever Energy

Zodiac Signs With Golden Retriever Energy: Fun Signs

Are there any zodiac signs that have golden retriever energy? You know, the ones who are so outgoing, adventurous and silly. Fire signs are typically the most fun and playful, but some air signs also cut deep because of how naturally caring they are.

When it comes to a golden retriever, you think of them as the type to always wanna jump in a pool or chase after a ball. They’re like the cartoon characters of dogs with their “just happy to be here” personalities and lots of big energy.

In the human world, 3 zodiacs match that energy!

If you’re feeling down, they’ll immediately come over and hang out next to you while giving you those big shiny eyes.



Up Next

If 16 Famous Writers Wrote Valentine’s Day Cards For You

If These Famous Writers Wrote Valentine's Day Cards

Why settle for less when Kim Namjoon said, “It’s a long way from I to U.F–, JKLMN-O-PQRST. I crossed all the letters and I reached you.” Expression of love is perhaps the greatest asset of poetry and what better time to make dad jokes about it than Valentine’s Day!

Cheese is best served with food. However, Valentine’s Day is one exception. Because it’s the one day we go all out to celebrate the love we feel, the love we have, or don’t. Now imagine if your favorite authors took part in this



Up Next

Is He Into You Or Just Being Friendly? 20 Signs He Is Micro Flirting

Clear Signs He Is Micro Flirting With You

Ever ask yourself if that friend of yours is dropping subtle hints or just being their usual friendly self? We’re about to go over some signs he is micro flirting – the little gestures that could be signaling something more.

On TikTok, Gen-Z have shared some trends to spot micro-flirting, for instance, You have a co-worker who’s always quiet around everyone except for you. When it’s just the two of you they can’t stop being chatty, and they use micro-gestures like touching their neck or biting their lip when you’re talking.



Up Next

Love In Reverse: How Contra-Dating Can Rewrite Your Love Story

How Contra Dating Can Help You Find Love: Examples

When it comes to love, many of us have a pattern. We like what’s similar to us—interests, appearances. But what if there was another way? As the word ‘contradict’ suggests, ‘Contra dating’ is a departure from traditional relationship ideals, which could be just what we need to find true love!

‘Contra dating,’ was coined by the creative minds at a dating site called “Plenty of Fish”. It has the potential to reinvent how we look for true love. Because plain old dating is boring anyway.

Explore Contra Dating Meaning And Find Out If You Should Be Trying It.