How many times have you come across a woman telling someone that she doesn’t need a man or a relationship in her life?
That her career is more important than settling down? That marriage or relationships are not compulsory (or even an option sometimes) in her bucket list of life?
These instances might make you wonder what it is that they could possibly want that a man (or more specifically, you) can’t give them. I mean, look at you: You are smart. Other people assure you that you are funny.
All your aunts can’t stop telling you how cute you are when they pull your cheeks even though you are pretty much an adult now.
You have a decent space of your own that you can approach with an equally decent automobile. And you don’t need anybody to assure you of your nightly performances, you are confident about that. So, what more could there be?
Well, nothing really.
What you might need is to give up some things instead if you find your charisma unable to woo the woman of your dreams.
If you think every girl’s favorite color is pink, then this is for you. If your smartness, humor, looks and possessions have all failed to impress your woman, you might want to stop and think about what you have been saying between those funny-af jokes and those accurate to a stitch fun-fact.
Do you find yourself saying things like, ‘girls mostly…’ or ‘you women would know…’ or (the all-time-classic) ‘is it that time of the month?’ or any other generalized statements like these?
Maybe she has always politely smiled or giggled it away, but you can bet that automobile of yours that she has a hate-list and those statements star on it like celebrities.
When you assume something, consciously or subconsciously, you come across as narrow-minded.
You are also programming your thoughts in a way that if you get contradicted, your brain will be immediately tempted to defend itself, even if your woman ends up explaining; in detail, why your assumption is flawed.
The best way to avoid making assumptions is to ask questions. Ask her for her favorite color − it could be olive green. Ask her what she thinks about your opinion − she might not disagree even if your last three dates did.
Ask her about her mood − it could just be her boss and not some draining blood that has messed her mood up.
You have cleared the first step: you successfully asked her the questions you thought you knew the answers to. But the answers are not what you expected.
You realize she is smart, funny and well-settled just like yourself. In your head, you are already spinning dreams of returning home to this goddess for the rest of your life.
However, unlike you, she is not interested in looking for Mr. Right. And maybe, as impossible as it sounds, it is something about you.
You can only convince this woman that she needs you if you can prove to her that she will be just as free as she is now, even after being married to you. (And yes, convince: because she really does not need you.) It is high time for you to wrap your mind around the fact that your woman loves her work just as much as you love yours. She has dreams just like yours.
You can’t expect her to know all the household chores − let alone do them all. Chances are, her father wanted her to aim for the same business school that your father wanted you to aim for.
She is not a damsel-in-distress, and you’ll have to digest the fact before this decade is up anyway. Sooner, the better. Be prepared to treat her like your equal.