25 Things To Remember After Divorce

 / 

Things To Remember After Divorce

After divorce, life can feel unsettling, unfair, and full of fear of the future. During the time you were going through legal proceedings whether, through the courts or mediation, you probably didn’t have time to think or fully process the implications for your future.

When you find yourself in the aftermath of the finality of it all, life can feel empty and dark.

I remember feeling a new level of grief after my divorce was final and I had to move with my young daughter from my home of 10 years. It was a time of confusion, fear, and more grief.

This place between your old life and your new life that is waiting for you is what I call the Void. In this place of emptiness, you get to create a life that is authentic to who you really are. You get to create a life you love by healing what is blocking you from manifesting all that you desire for your life.

I distinctly remember as I continued my healing journey after the move, that I crossed a bridge to a clearing that felt full of possibilities.

There are important and life-changing thoughts for this time of your life. Below is a list of 25 of the most important things to remember as you navigate this journey toward your best life yet. These insights helped me navigate through my own journey post divorce.

Related: Life After Divorce: 8 Lessons To Learn From A Divorce

25 Things To Remember After Divorce

1. Time does not heal all wounds despite what the popular saying proposes. What DOES heal your wounds is becoming aware of what they are and then learning how to heal and release them. Adele’s song Hello says it clearly in the first two lines;

“They say that time’s supposed to heal ya; but I ain’t done much healing.”

2. You must go deep within to heal and release limiting beliefs and toxic patterns to fully show up as YOU. Clarissa Pinkola Estés who wrote, “Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype” said,

“Deep in the wintry parts of our minds, we know there is no such thing as a work-free transformation. We know we will have to burn to the ground in one way or another, and then sit right in the ashes of who we once thought we were and go on from there.”

3. This inner work is the most important thing you will ever do in your life. It will lead you back to your true self.

4. Conscious awareness of deeply hidden limiting beliefs and toxic patterns is a critical step on your healing journey. Understanding all that is within you that is blocking you from having the life you desire will unlock your highest potential.

After divorce
Heal after divorce

5. Your life did not end when your marriage did. It may feel like you and your life were shattered to pieces with no way to put yourself or your life back together. But the gift that comes from falling apart is being able to build a stronger foundation to create a life you love and adore.

Related: How To Move On After Divorce: Why Letting Go Is Not Giving Up

6. Creating a life, one that you love and adore, is easy when you learn that all that you need to navigate your journey post divorce is within you.

7. You have the power within you to rise above the heartbreak and create an extraordinary life fulfilling your deepest purpose of why you are here and what you are meant to be doing.

8. Your journey will be bumpy and rocky if you do not learn to trust yourself implicitly.

9. Everything that happened DID happen for a reason. You may not know what the real reason is for a while or maybe not for a long time.

It doesn’t matter. Just knowing this was the path you were led on will hopefully allow you to accept and ultimately surrender to how your life is in this moment.

10. Surrender is the first step on your journey after divorce. This step may take several months or years depending on whether you fight every step of the way or put on a new pair of lenses and do the inner work that is required to achieve ultimate surrender.

11. Other areas of your life may fall apart. You may find that your divorce causes an avalanche of destruction in many other areas of your life. This is to clear out all that no longer serves you to build anew.

12. Your children will be okay and not “messed up” because of the divorce itself. It is how you handle situations and all the emotions that come with them.

Handling things with insight and awareness and honoring your children’s feelings will be the key to how your children process their own journey.

Even if you find yourself being the only “sane” parent and co-parenting is non-existent, how you are with your children can be the anchor that keeps them grounded and rooted in their own authentic selves.

Related: Grief After Divorce: The 5 Stages of Grief at The End of A Meaningful Relationship

13. The heartbreak you experienced was a wake-up call to finally let go of control of maintaining a façade that kept you in a box living small. It is a call to open the box and step out and shine your brilliance to the world.

14. Your heart was not actually “broken.” The outer, protective covering we put over our heart has been cracked or shattered. It feels as if our heart was split in two, but it is the pain of exposing what is underneath the hard exterior most of us have built to protect ourselves.

When this false sense of self is shattered and we are in excruciating pain, we are vulnerable which causes most of us to run and hide. We just want to close it all back down and hide and protect our hearts from the outside elements. As Marianne Williamson says,

“Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”

Healing after divorce
Moving on after divorce

15. The blueprint to building an authentic and soul-satisfying life is hidden behind the brick walls that were erected a long time ago. Heartbreak is one way in which the wall collapses leaving you feeling vulnerable.

16. Divorce will stretch you out of your comfort zone. But moving past your comfort zone will cause you to grow in ways you could not have before your divorce. Use this time to go out and bloom to your highest potential. Here is what Brene Brown says about courage:

“I want to be brave with my life. And when we make the choice to dare greatly, we sign up to get our asses kicked. We can choose courage, or we can choose comfort, but we can’t have both. Not at the same time.”

17. Heartbreak gives you an opportunity to step onto a new path. It is the path that is one less traveled but is crucial for you if you have even a hint of a desire for a better way of living.

It is the path that is strewn with all kinds of debris that you will be navigating through. It is a path within to your deepest self, that still place within that has been waiting for you.

“True power comes from standing in your own truth and walking your own path.” -Elizabeth Gilbert

18. The best way to navigate through this time (and forever after) is to drop down into your heart and be guided from within.

Knowing deep down that Spirit/the Universe or whatever you call a Higher Power can see how things can be orchestrated in your life for your highest and greatest good and that you will be led to each part of your journey.

Related: How To Overcome Grief After Divorce: 5 Steps to Recover From a Divorce

19. Whatever your dreams are or what you have imagined for your life is still there waiting for you to take action to create whatever it is you desire. This desire in your heart to create a better future for yourself and your children would not be there if it were not possible for you to attain it.

20. Achieving radical acceptance in this phase of your life means stopping the struggle within that things should be different than they are. What you may feel when you achieve radical acceptance is a profound release and a feeling of being free and ready to move forward with your life.

21. Once you achieve acceptance, you can get clear on the desires of your heart and what to do next to build a life that is authentically yours.

22. Self-care is essentially remaining calm and balanced during such an uncertain time. Learning to live with uncertainty by living moment by moment and day by day will keep you centered.

Healing after divorce
What to do after divorce

23. As you emerge from the acute pain of heartbreak, you will be able to tune in to your deepest desires and be guided to the next right step.

24. The one thing to understand about all you have been through; the divorce, the trauma, the anger, financial struggles, challenges of raising young children alone, etc. is to know that this is about YOU.

It is about your Spiritual Evolution. When you understand that the purpose of this journey through life is for you to heal all your inner wounds and recognize your true self, you will be free of any attachments to the outside world.

Related: Starting Over After Divorce: What To Do If Your Life Is A Mess After Divorce

25. Learning to tap into your inner Spiritual world, will allow you to quickly create a life that is for your highest and greatest good.

Wishing you so much love,

Lisa

Want to know more about how how to move on after divorce? Check this video out below!

Healing after divorce

Written By Lisa Bruchac
Originally Appeared On Find Your True Essence
Things To Remember After Divorce pin

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply



Up Next

7 Reasons People Regret Divorce: Understanding The Post-Divorce Journey

Reasons People Regret Divorce: The Post-Divorce Journey

There are many people who feel like they got a new lease of life after getting divorced, but there are also people who end up regretting divorce. But, why do some people regret getting a divorce? This article is going to focus on some of the reasons people regret divorce and what goes through their minds.

KEY POINTS

While divorce can be a healthy option for some people, others might experience pain and regret.

It’s not uncommon to underestimate the effects that divorce will have in various areas of life.

Therapy, communication, and time can help heal the wounds.

Acc



Up Next

7 Emotions You May Feel When You Decide To Divorce

When You Decide To Divorce: Unexpected Emotions You Feel

Making the decision to divorce is one of the hardest decisions to make. When you decide to divorce your spouse, you may feel a ton of emotions that you did not expect at all. This article is going to talk about those feelings and emotions so that if ever you make the decision to divorce, you know what to expect.

KEY POINTS

The decision to divorce is a personal and deeply emotional experience.

There is a common misperception that the person who decides to divorce doesn’t suffer from the decision.

The emotional journey is unique to each individual, and there are no right or wrong ways to feel.



Up Next

10 Honest Reactions Of Children To Divorce

Honest Reactions Of Children To Divorce

When two people divorce, we think about how they might be feeling about the breakdown of their marriage. What about the reactions of children to divorce? How does a child cope with divorce? How do children react to divorce? Let’s find out!

When your children experience your divorce, their reactions will vary depending on their ages, personalities, family dynamics, and the circumstances of the divorce. Some children will experience immediate distress, while others may not show signs of distress until later. Some children internalize their emotions and appear more resilient than they are.

However, the biggest factor affecting their reactions is the level of conflict between you and your spouse. Even if your children don’t witness conflict, they can sense it, even in the way that you hug them.



Up Next

5 Ways To Reduce The Stigma Of Divorce

Stigma Of Divorce: Ways To Normalize Divorce

One of the worst parts of getting divorced is the stigma that comes with it; the social stigma of divorce is sometimes more painful than the actual divorce. That’s why it’s important to normalize divorce and reduce this stigma of divorce. This article is going to explore the best ways to cut back on the stigma of divorce.

KEY POINTS

The language in Western cultures around divorce reinforces the stigma of divorce.

Normalizing divorce can reduce the stigma and foster a more supportive environment for those going through it.

Divorce is often a difficult and emotional process, and offering support can make a significant difference.



Up Next

How To Date A Widower? Finding Love Again

Dating A Widower: Tips and the Red Flags You Can't Ignore!

Picking yourself up after losing a spouse is a traumatizing experience. Learning how to date a widower will allow you to provide a safe space for healing for the man you love and care for.  

If you’re thinking about dating a widower, it’s important to know how to handle things. It can be a tricky road to navigate, but can provide you with a loving and fulfilling relationship.

This article is here to help you out. We’ll give you some simple tips and advice that can make things easier for you.

How To Date A Widower? 

When it comes to dating a widower, it’s essential to approach the relationsh



Up Next

How To Get Over A Failed Marriage

How To Get Over A Failed Marriage: Nine Strategies For Healing

Is your marriage going down the drain? Do you feel heartbroken, lost and confused, with no apparent way to make things better with your spouse? Well, you can still heal yourself and move on. Let’s explore how to get over a failed marriage.

A Union of Blessings or Pain?

Marriage is often considered a sacred bond between two individuals, filled with love, companionship, and dreams of a shared future. It is a union bestowed with blessings, often from a higher power.

However, not all marriages have a fairy-tale ending. When a



Up Next

7 Common Lies About Life After Divorce You May Have Heard: Thriving After Divorce

Seven Common Lies About Life After Divorce You May Have Heard

When someone gets divorced, some people are really eager to feed them all sorts of lies about life after divorce. There are so many lies you may have heard about life after divorce. Even though life after divorce is not exactly easy, but it’s never as bad as it’s made out to be by most people. 

There are several lies you may have heard about what to expect from life after divorce. Life after divorce can be tough and emotionally painful no matter what the situation is. However, it can be a struggle or it can be a time of great healing and rewarding on so many levels.

You may find that you come to a crossroads after the divorce is fin