6 Things You Can’t Win (And How To Win Them)

you cant win 1

We all believe that if we are smart enough, if we hustle hard enough then we can surely win at some of the most important aspects in life. But the truth is far from it. Irrespective of what you think, life will always have other plans for you. So sit back and enjoy the ride.




Not everything is a contest, but you can always be a winner. Here’s how.

We live in a very competitive world, perhaps even more so here in the United States where we’ve managed to turn weight loss, dating, and apprenticeships into game shows. “Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing” are words that many take to heart, and as a result, they complicate their lives with unnecessary stress and disappointment.

A competitive nature can be a great asset but it can also be a liability, particularly when one finds himself turning everyday life into a contest. Some things you just can’t win, or can you?



Here are six examples where reframing what “winning” means keeping things in perspective.

1. Driving

Why you can’t win:

No matter how many cars you whip around, how many lanes you zigzag through, how many bumpers you ride and slowpokes you flip off, there’s no checkered flag waiting for you at the end of your commute.

You’re just going to work (or the store or to pick up your kids), just like the rest of us. Why are you risking your life and endangering mine by driving like a maniac? Do you get to work and raise your arms and scream, “Hooray! I won driving today”?




How you can win:

Relax. Enjoy the drive. Listen to some music and decompress. Wave that person over who is trying to merge: one extra car length isn’t the difference between “late” and “on time.” You’ll get where you’re going much more relaxed, and you’ll save a little gas by easing off the pedal.

Read 5 Life-Changing Habits That Will Build Your Self-Esteem


2. Relationships

Why you can’t win:

Picking a significant other based on his or her looks, celebrity, money, connections, etc. may be thrilling in the short term. You might be the envy of your friends and feel like you’ve won dating, but eventually, the superficial stuff wears thin, and then where will you be?

How you can win:

Get past all that silliness. Find a partner with whom you share common interests and goals, someone with whom you enjoy speaking. You’re looking for a best friend, not a trophy.


3. Parenting

Why you can’t win:

“What’s your baby doing? My Caleb is 11 months now, and he’s working on his first novel.” New parents are the worst about this, mostly I think because we’re concerned about our child’s development.

Why isn’t my kid crawling yet when that kid over there is walking? Why can’t Tommy talk yet and Suzie over there is playing Charlie Rose with her stuffed animals? The answer is simple: kids develop at different speeds.




How you can win:

Accept the fact that little Timmy won’t someday be crawling to a corporate meeting in his three-piece suit. He’ll walk when he’s ready. Enjoy your kids for who they are, not how they measure up to others.

4. Work

Why you can’t win:

Have you ever taken a promotion because you thought you were supposed to rather than because you wanted to? We’re all supposed to be climbing the ladder all the time, right? If you aren’t climbing you’re failing.

But what if you really like your job? Are you failing because you’re finally in the spot you’ve always wanted to be and you don’t want to move up anymore?

And what if you feel compelled to keep climbing? Virtually all organizations are shaped like a pyramid. Where are you going to go when you’re finally at the top?

How you can win:

Be honest with yourself. What are your goals, not the goals that you think you’re supposed to have? What do you enjoy doing? Win by finding the job that satisfies you, not the title that outranks your buddies.

Read Self-Compassion And Meeting Yourself Where You Are


5. Money

Why you can’t win:

This may be the most pressing problem of our era, as it contributes to so many other significant problems. A recent Oxfam report asserts that 85 people on the planet hold as much wealth as half of the Earth’s population. That is a staggering statistic and should be all the evidence that you need that you’ll never win the money game, even if you’re a member of the much-maligned one percent.




But even down here in the trenches where most of us live, chasing money is a losing proposition. Going into debt to keep up with the Joneses has never made anybody happy.

How you can win:

How much do you need? The answer is different for everyone, but be honest with yourself. Figure it out, target it, and be happy when you get there.


6. A Super Bowl/Oscar/Olympic Gold Medal

Why you can’t win:

Look, you might. Those rags to riches stories are what keep us coming back. I love underdog stories, I really do, but the overwhelming majority of us will never win Olympic gold. It’s simple math.

And it’s a little bit of genetics, too. No matter how hard I train, I’ll never be an elite athlete. If my focus is solely on the gold, I’m setting myself up for bitterness and disappointment.

How you can win:

Do you enjoy running, cycling, acting, whatever? Go do it. Enjoy it for the sake of enjoying it. Enter a 5k. Compete against your time from your last 5k. Get involved in a local theater company. Follow your passions because they’re your passions. That’s the real reward.





Life is not a competition. When you work, find satisfaction in what you’re doing. When you play, enjoy the game. Stretch yourself but set realistic, meaningful goals. Stop comparing yourself to others, and you can win almost everything. Except driving. Seriously, get off my bumper.


Written by James Stafford
Originally appeared in The Good Men Project
Things In Life You Think You Can Win pinterest
you cant win pin


— Share —

Published On:

Last updated on:

, , ,

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

Are You Making The Same Mistake Over And Over? Here’s How To Finally Stop!

Are You Making The Same Mistake Twice? Ways To Stop!

We’ve all been there. You swear you won’t do that again, whether it’s sending a risky text, trusting the wrong person, overspending, or missing a deadline. And then, boom. You end up making the same mistake twice. 

The cycle repeats, frustration builds, and you wonder if you’ll ever learn. But guess what? You can break free from the loop.

Habits, unconscious tendencies, and emotional biases cause us often to make the same mistakes. Even if seeking familiarity has unfavorable effects, our brains are programmed to do so.

We remain trapped in repetitive cycles due to a lack of self-awareness, a fear of change, and a failure to properly learn from prior experiences. Rather than addressing the underlying reasons of mistakes,

Up Next

How Many Aura Points Did You Just Lose? 5 Behaviors That Are Killing Your Vibe

How Many Aura Points Did You Just Lose? Behaviors That Are Killing Your Vibe

If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation feeling like you absolutely won that interaction, congratulations, you just earned some aura points! But if you’ve ever cringed at something you did and wished you could take it back, yeah… that’s a big deduction.

Let’s explore the philosophy behind this new Tik Tok trend!

What Are Aura Points?

Aura points are TikTok’s new way of measuring how much rizz (aka charisma) you have, and it’s not just about being smooth with your words. It’s less about being cool and more about being “aura”. It’s about self-respect, confidence, and knowing when to walk away from situations that don’t serve you.

Up Next

Mindfulness And The Spirit of Buddhist Meditation

Mindfulness And The Spirit of Buddhist Meditation

Ever felt overwhelmed by your thoughts and emotions? What if you could train your mind to stay present, calm, and balanced? Learn more about Buddhist meditation below!

How mindfulness can help cultivate self-awareness and emotional regulation.

In recent years, mindfulness meditation, rooted in Buddhist traditions, has gained widespread interest in psychology and beyond. Amid a performance-driven culture, where achievement often outweighs presence, mindfulness offers a collective yearning for balance.

Up Next

The Psychology of Emotional Shopping

Psychology of Emotional Shopping: Important Ways To Tackle

You often buy things to lift your mood, but have you ever wondered why? Emotional shopping is more psychological than practical. So let’s learn more about it!

How to tackle a tendency toward emotional shopping.

In a globalized market, we are daily faced with a great variety of products and services that are meticulously planned and proficiently marketed to us, having an emotional influence on our brain centres and activating a desire to acquire them.

All of us want to experience the thrill of intense positive emotions that will raise the generation of our happy hormones which will eventually ensure the experience of such positive emotions as excitement, happiness, joy, glee, delight, hilarity, or amusement.

Up Next

Mel Robbins’ Viral ‘Let Them Theory’: Can It Really Transform Your Life?

Mel Robbins’ Viral ‘Let Them Theory’: Can It Really Transform Your Life?

The Let Them theory psychology is a simple yet powerful self help mantra made popular by Mel Robbins; a reminder that you can’t control other people’s actions, only your own reactions.

Is there anything more frustrating than other people? You try to control situations, influence decisions, and shape outcomes, but people keep doing whatever they want. It’s exhausting, isn’t it?

You find yourself overanalyzing why someone didn’t text back, why a coworker got a promotion instead of you, or why your friend refuses to leave that toxic relationship. You waste time, energy, and peace of mind obsessing over things that, frankly, aren’t yours to control.

Instead of over analyzing, stressing, or trying to change things beyond your control, you simply let it be.

Up Next

5 Ways To Find Peace When You Are Taking The High Road

Taking The High Road? Ways To Let Go And Find Peace

Taking the high road can feel like a challenge, especially when things get messy. But letting go of attachments can help you a lot in doing that. It’s also one of the best ways to maintain your peace and stay true to who you are.

KEY POINTS

Taking the high road means behaving in line with our moral and ethical values even when others don’t.

Fear of being misunderstood, judged, or rejected by our peers can make it challenging to take the high road.

We can find a sense of peace if we recognize that our suffering on the high road stems from attachment.

Releasin

Up Next

Boomerasking: The Silent Conversation Killer You Didn’t Know You Had

What Is Boomerasking? Signs You're Guilty Of This Bad Habit

We need to talk. And no, not about you, though that’s kind of the point. If you’ve ever asked someone a question only to immediately shift the conversation back to yourself, you might be guilty of boomerasking.

What Is Boomerasking?

It is a conversational tactic identified by Harvard Business School’s professor Alison Wood Brooks, wherein a question that seems to show interest serves as a guise for the speaker to center the conversation about themself.