If You Are Broken

If you are broken

If you are broken, you should be healing,
not dating and projecting your traumas on others. In all things there is a law of cycles.
Until you heal and change your thinking patterns, you will always recycle your relationships.
This message is very important.

In Order To Make A Relationship Last

flow

In order to make a relationship last, you really have to flow with a person as they change. Give them space. My friend always told me about his grandfather who was with his wife for 60 years before she passed. His grandfather said that through all that time, his wife changed so much it felt like he had been with 8 different people by the end. But he said the secret to making it last was that through all those changes, he never suffocated his wife with his own idea of who he expected her to be. Rather he loved, fully, every new woman she became.

Cool Change

In the new year, I hope you learn to walk away from what is not meant to be yours. In the new year, I hope you learn to walk away from anyone who is not good for you. I hope you let them go with grace,dignity, and lightness watching them fade into the backdrop of your life as you open your hand and heart to someone new, someone better for you and someone who is meant for you. 
In the new year, I hope you learn to walk away from toxic ideas you’ve held about yourself. I hope you learn to give love to that person you are seeing in a mirror, give yourself love, the same love you are giving to everyone else. I hope you learn to treat yourself with kindness and respect,forgetting the people who taught you that you deserved any different. 
In the new year, I hope you learn to walk away from the expectations that you have no interest in fulfilling. I hope you learn to reject a life that is not made by you, for you. I hope you learn to tune out the endless loop of society’s ideas of what you should be, what you should do and who you should love. I hope you make up your mind about who you really are and what you really like on your own terms. 
In the new year, I hope you learn to run towards what lights your heart on fire. I hope you stay and grab on those people who help you to see this world differently,in a more positive way possible. I hope you cherish and love them with all your heart and I hope you allow them to do the same to you. I hope you find passion in everyday life and and I hope you find adventure where you least expect it. 
Most of all, I hope you let kindness, hardwork,passion and love be the guide posts of your life. In the new year ’til eternal.

Living and Dying

The worst thing about living is dying.

Isn’t that odd?

That the worst possible thing that can happen to a person is death.

What is death?

The absence of everything.

Never experiencing anything. Ever. Again.

Nothingness.

The worst thing that can happen to you is nothing.

What does that say about all the pain we endure?

What’s its purpose?

Does it teach us a lesson?

How do you let go of anger?

Seems easy enough.

How do I allow someone to love me?

Harder still.

The point is…

We have a thing or two to learn.

Here.

It’s not easy being human.

Being alive. Conscious. Aware.

Experiencing everything. All the time.

But you have no choice.

Learn. Don’t learn.

It’s hard for people to change.

Easier to remain the same.

But listen here…

YOU MATTER. 

You’re worthy of love.

You are good enough.

Your anger will only hurt you.

Change. Don’t change.

It’s your choice.

Because at the end of your days, you’ll die anyway.

Better get to it!

Closing Your Eyes Isn’t Going To Change Anything

Closing your eyes

Closing your eyes isn’t going to change anything. Nothing’s going to disappear just because you can’t see what’s going on. In fact, things will even be worse the next time you open your eyes. That’s the kind of world we live in. Keep your eyes wide open. Only a coward closes his eyes. Closing your eyes and plugging up your ears won’t make time stand still.

– Haruki Murakami

Highly Sensitive People and Change

I had a lovely dinner with my boyfriend in a restaurant followed by a movie night. Yes! I finally get to see what I waited for- Bohemian Rhapsody! We skipped the snacks as we were stuffed and head straight into the theatre. Perfect night. It feels like I am seeing them live. I follow their journey. I notice my heart is racing. Why? There is no reason, so I try to rationalise and breathe. It doesn’t go away. In fact, I get worse. Am I having a heart attack? I Feel like passing out! What? But why? Ok, calm down, calm down. No, it doesn’t go away and I start to feel detached from myself.  I need to get out. I turned to my boyfriend and said we need to leave. Now! I stumble down the stairs trying not to trip or cause a scene. I walked into a bathroom because I didn’t know if I will get sick. My hands are shaking. What is going on?

Highly Sensitive People (HSP) experience everything in greater scale. Our five senses often cause sensory overload that our extrovert society cannot relate to. HSP deal with a change extremely hard. It doesn’t matter whether we move locations, deal with a break- up, or lost a loved one. We feel overwhelmed with different emotions all at the same time. Fear, anger, sadness, grief, excitement, joy, and on to top it all off- a massive amount of stress.

Later that night I came home and read about my symptoms online. I had a full blown panic attack. I spoke to my friend about it and she said, “Well, what exactly do you expect? You are changing jobs, moving and swapping campuses in college!” That made me realize that I need to take a step back. Slow down… I am experiencing a major change in my life about which I felt confused. My mood was up and down in a matter of minutes.  All these different emotions left me worn out and my sub consciousness responded to it resulting a panic attack.

HSP and change doesn’t go well together but here are ways to help us to ease up these transitions.

1. Talk to someone.

 Whether it is a trusted friend, family member or a therapist. It is always a good idea to say out loud what you feel. You need emotional support. Therefore when talking you are not only sharing your story, but clarifying your own emotions too.  Talking may not always solve all the problems but it is a good way to relieve some of the stress.                                                                          

2. Exercise.

Don’t sit at home. Go for a walk, jog, run- it doesn’t matter.  Clear your head! Exercise is a good way to feel connected to yourself.  Plus it releases dopamine in your brain which improves the mood.  Be creative! If walking or running doesn’t suit, try swimming, cycling, or gym. Exercise classes are also a good way to redirect the mind from stress. How about a dance class?        
    

3. Emotional release.


Talking to a friend and exercising is a good way to let out steam, but sometimes it is not enough. I feel stress on my shoulders and joints, so often I need to so stretching to release some of this energy.  And remember, it is ok to cry. Don’t bottle it up like me, you will explode.  In my case neglecting my emotions caused me to have a panic attack.  Express yourself in ways that make you feel better, for example art, music, writing, or just organizing your environment.                                                                                                 

4. Reflect.


This post is a form of reflection.  I hope it helps you as much as it did me. Reflection is a good tool and a form of learning.  We need to go back over our stories and see what worked out and what didn’t. In my case, bottling up my emotions is no longer an option.  We need to ask ourselves, what did our situation teach us? Reflection is important for understanding ourselves and personal growth.  Journaling is great way to notice our behavior patterns in different situations.  So, pick up your pen and start to write.

My 180 degree change

My 180 degree change

It took me 180 days to completely change my life. How? I was tired of being miserable, I was tired of settling for less than what I deserved. I woke up and decided I would not sacrifice my happiness for any person, place or thing. I decided I will not make the same mistakes and rerun the same patterns that I created. I decided I would never put my soul in a position to suffer that hinders my growth and well being. The moment I chose myself, is the moment my life changed.  I pushed over the domino and it has not stopped. I grew spiritually, I evolved into a high state of consciousness and I continue to rise and grow. This was not easy, I will not lie. I had to break myself down and rebuild from the inside and out. This time I knew I was building a solid foundation that I created and a foundation that I will never allow anyone else to allow to break it down. I let the old me die, to allow my true essence to emerge. In 180 days, I transformed myself and my outer world. The first step was my awakening and self-awareness. 2 years ago I suffered a late miscarriage at 17 weeks. This completely devastated me and my fiance and after that our relationship began to crumble. After the surgery, I was prescribed pain pills and was on them for 3 months and got addicted and he confessed he has been doing them without me knowing through our entire relationship. 7 months later, I was able to heal and detox my body, I removed myself from all antidepressants, all medications.

I was slowly becoming myself again and went through deep inner healing. I stopped eating meat, I stopped smoking and felt my vibration rise. We argued constantly, slept in separate rooms, he projected the pain inside and until I became self-aware, I did the same. I cried myself to sleep, I begged God to take me away, it was the hell I created and the pain was unbearable. The last 2 months together, I was learning to hold my vibration and shield from his lower vibrations. I was able to not allow his words to affect or manipulate me, I took back my power and he knew it and said everything possible to get to me. One night, I felt my soul cry out in the night that woke me up from my slumber. I woke up the next morning and I created a plan. I did not have any money to put a down payment on an apartment. I realized I was giving my power and money away. So, I reached out for assistance from the salvation army and local churches to help with a down payment for an apartment. I was guided to record his voice when he was yelling and was able to send it to an Angel at the salvation army who quickly processed my request as it was considered domestic violence. The request was approved and I received 1,000 and I was then able to secure an apartment, I took my belongings and dog and left. I will never forget the moment, I was handed the keys to my apartment.

I sat in the car and cried and cried. I thanked the universe and promised my soul we will never be here again. I will never forget the moment I had my most prized possession, my English bulldog in the back seat and looked at him and he looked at me and I told him we are going home. I never looked back and the drive to my apartment was the best decision I have ever made. The first night in my apartment, I looked around and I felt so much liberation and strength. I felt the love of self that grew each day. The first week, I slept on the floor and it was the best sleep of my life. I hugged the floor and was so thankful.

This entire experience made me realize how grateful I am for the very floor I stand on. I look around at my apartment today and smile because I created this and it was mine. After this, I continued to deeply heal all wounds, trauma and inner child wounds. I continued to dive deep into myself and learn and evolve. Day after day, I was becoming my authentic self and am completly focused on my purpose and dreams. I purchased my first brand new card and when I started becoming aware of the energies around me, I realized my job of 7 years was no longer a vibrational match. My body was rejecting the environment, I would physically get sick in the morning and felt my energy drained. I knew this was a nudge to get out and I had resistance and this is why it was becoming more obvious and unbearable. I set out and looked at different avenues, I applied for several places, had a few interviews and was not successful. I know one day I will work for myself and have my own spiritual practice, however, I had to change this environment immediately in the meantime. I found a position for massage studio manager and after 3 interviews, I got the call. I put in my 2 weeks and I start my new job this week. I took the leap of faith and am very happy I did. I successfully changed my entire life. I came full circle and completed a huge cycle in my life. For the very first time, I am finally walking the path I was always meant to. I give you my story in full transparency in hopes that it will give you the inspiration to change anything in your life that does not serve your highest good. Change is uncomfortable at first, but always remember back to a time where you took that leap and the feeling after and telling yourself, I wish I would have done it sooner. I know now that the things that are uncomfortable are the things we should run toward. These are what can truly change our lives, within and without. When we shed all the debris off our wings, we are able to fly. It is never too late to begin again. It is never too late to change. It is never too late to say enough is enough. It is never too late to love yourself again It is never too late to fall in love with life again. It is never too late because we only have the now. 

5 Signs Your Life Is About To Undergo A Massive Change

undergo a massive change

There are some signs that reveal your life is about to undergo a massive change.

There are moments in life when we believe that everything is falling apart. What we actually don’t know is that, at times like these, when we feel hopeless and at a point of no return, everything is falling to its place.

Change is not always welcome but it’s inevitable and often when we believe that our life is complete chaos, it’s because everything is being arranged in order to synchronize with our true passions and desires.

 

Here are 5 Signs Your Life Is About To Undergo A Massive Change:

1. The things you don’t like have become unbearable.

There is nothing worse than feeling annoyed. It comes out of the blue, like a mosquito while you’re asleep, and it’s starts itching, making you scratch your skin till it bleeds.

When little, meaningless, things in life start bugging you to be sure that a change is about to happen. It has to happen. There is a certain amount of negativity that we can deal with before the last straw breaks the camel’s back. Something snaps and we take action.

 

2. You feel lost.

The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself. We’ve all heard these words. It kinda sounds backward, but that’s only until we figure out why. When you’re lost you have no direction and when there is no direction there is no desire.

When there is no desire you don’t need anything and when you don’t need anything, that’s when your soul starts to speak.

Even though things might see out of control, in this moment you are in a perfect disposition to accept everything that your heart is completely and unconditionally trying to show you. You’re now tracing your new path and maybe what you really need is that radical change that will help you get your mind, body, heart, and soul in sync.

 

3. Leave the incubator.

Have you ever noticed that there are periods when your schedule is completely packed with adventures, parties with your friends and family, and a trip to a point when you feel that you are barely keeping up? On the other hand the rest of the year you spend isolated, even depressed, going through deep introspection.

The length of these cycles varies but we all go through momentum shifts during our lives. We need these cycles to form our perspective of the world. Moments spent introspecting offer us emotional, psychological and spiritual growth, while the outward pulses manifest as new experiences, traveling and broadening our horizons. When you break free from the incubator period, it feels like you are being reborn.

This means that you took your time to recharge your batteries, take a step back and reevaluate the things and people that surround you, in order to set another goal and trace a new path towards a better life.

This means you are ready to undergo a massive change in your life.

Be the change

Be the change

Don’t trample ambition,

mould it….

don’t mock self belief,

build it…

don’t hide natural talent,

nurture it…

don,t ridicule difference,

embrace it…

don’t ignore others problems,

comfort them…

don’t give up at the first hurdle,

work at it…

don,t assume it’s unattainable,

reach for it…

don’t be limited by restrictions,

overcome them…

don’t ever give up dreaming,

achieve them…

what makes the impossible become possible,

is the inherent power we each possess….

Does it change any-thing

Does it change any-thing

Does it change
any-thing

how
I AM
THINKING

how
I AM
SPEAKING

how
I AM
INTER-ACTING

how
I AM
AWARE
of MEself

Does it change
any-thing

what
I AM
DOING

what
I AM
CREATING

what
I AM
READING

what
I AM
WRITING

YES!
EVERY-THING
I AM

IS
CHANGING
ANY-THING

at least
ME-self

and by
CHANGING
EVOLVING

ME-SELF

I AM
CHANGING

THE
WHOLE

EVERY-THING
IS
EVOLVING
ONLY
THROUGH

ME-SELF