Every strong woman you see was once a weak girl who promised herself ‘never again’. Because she has gone through hell, she has promised herself that never again will she let anyone take advantage of her kindness.
It was in every unkind word where she never said anything back.
It was every time someone knocked her down to build themselves back up, she stood firm.
It was in every moment they needed something to her and she gave herself away to appease them.
It was in every tear they ever caused and she was the one to say sorry.
It was in every unanswered text or call where she still picked up the next time.
It was in every plan she looked forward to that he didn’t care when he let her down canceling.
It was in every lie she believed undoubtedly because she was so honest.
It was in every moment she gave more than she got thinking she could teach him her ways.
It was the hope he would change if only she loved him enough.
It was every one-liner he knew would take her down and he said these things with a smile.
It was in choosing to see the good despite being the one they took out all their bad on.
It was in every night that turned into morning and the promises uttered were drunk words to be forgotten even though she remembered everything.
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It was in every tear she cried in private never letting anyone see her weak.
It was in every night she went to bed wondering why wasn’t she enough to make them commit?
It was in all the effort she put forth not playing by any rule, even though he played her like he invented the game.
It was in endings without explanations where she was the one left analyzing what went wrong.
It was in every call past midnight where she picked up every time.
It was in every excuse he could muster and she simply took it.
It was in every compliment with prior motives she learned to stop believing. Because kindness to gain something more isn’t really being nice.
It was in every insult where he pointed out the flaws that she spent hours fixating on in the mirror.
It was in every fight where he walked away and she was the one to go after him.
It was the acceptance of every apology, he’d only have to say again because he never learned.
It was settling for less than she deserved not because she didn’t respect herself enough to walk away but she thought she saw something in him enough to tolerate these things.
But every weak girl who used to crumble answering that text she knew she shouldn’t, turned out to be strong women.
Every girl that got less than they deserved, finally stopped crying, picked themselves up, wiped their tears and looked at themselves in the mirror saying, ‘never again.’
So if ever you wonder about her strength in where it comes from it was in that very same promise where she told her younger self, ‘never again.’
If ever you wonder how she handles situations with such dignity and grace it was the promise she made to herself saying, ‘never again.’
If ever you wonder why she’s so calm in moments that would set anyone off, she thinks back to her younger self, the basket case full of tears and that promise, ‘never again.’
If you ever wonder why she’s alone it was the promise she made to her younger self that she would never need someone but herself.
If you ever wonder about her confidence it was the moment she realized to love herself the first.
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If you ever wonder about her ambition and how she takes everything she wants with a smile and a bit of cockiness, it was the promise she made to herself that she wouldn’t take no for an answer and she wouldn’t believe anyone who told her she couldn’t.
If you ever wonder why she walks away the moment any guy challenges her, it’s because she promised herself long ago, she’d never get caught up in games and it was there she learned to make her own rules.
And if the thought ever crosses your mind of why she’s single and you think you know it’s out of bad luck, think again. It’s the promise she made to her younger self she’d never again settle for less than she deserved or tolerate bullshit.
And if you ever wonder why she questions you it was in the moment she learned the only person she can trust is herself.
So the next time you see a strong woman and wonder where it all came from, it was in every person of her past that motivated her to never be weak again.
It was the promise she made to that same girl who had black tears running down her face, that she said, ‘no one will ever make us feel this way again.’ It was at that moment she never looked back.
It was in every moment after she never jumped at their texts. Because the ghosts from her past came knocking and she stopped answering.
And it was at that moment they all began to regret it because when a weak girl realizes she deserves more, she becomes a woman who never settles for less.
Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words. Follow Kirsten on Instagram.
Written by Kirsten Corley
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