From Sidelines To Spotlight: 5 Steps To Getting A Seat At The Table (Where You Belong)

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Steps To Getting A Seat At The Table 2

Getting a seat at the table isnโ€™t merely about occupying a chair, but about having a voice and influencing decisions. Follow these five steps to transition from a spectator to a key player, and not just get a seat at the table, but also make sure that your insights are heard and valued.

One of my favourite movies is the 1995 comedy Home for the Holidays. Claudia, played by Holly Hunter, heads to her childhood home for Thanksgiving with her dysfunctional family.

If you havenโ€™t seen this flick, I highly recommend that you do. Especially if at one time or another, youโ€™ve found yourself back at home, being treated like the child you once were, and maybe even sitting at the kiddie table because there werenโ€™t any more seats left for you to join the adults.

Related:ย 8 Types Of Self Esteem

Somebody had to sit at the kidsโ€™ table. Was that you? Is it always you?

If you think about it, same sort of thing happens at work. A LOT of people vying for limited seating. And nobody seems to notice that for years, not only have you been standing on your own two feet, but youโ€™ve been climbing the ladder in your chosen profession, step by step.

Yet, here you are again, seemingly not good enough to share the same space with the big kids at the adults-only table.

Weโ€™ve all been there. Whether youโ€™ve just started out in your career or youโ€™ve been managing teams of people for years, what you want and have been working toward โ€” your voice to be heard; to be recognized as a leader; and to be considered among the top decision-makers โ€“ eludes you.

If this sounds like you, here are five steps to getting that seat at the table you REALLY want (and deserve) to be.

Getting a seat at the table, where you belong

5 Steps To Getting A Seat At The Table (Where You Belong)

1. Use Your Fork and Knife

Thatโ€™s right. Pick up the fork and knife and put them to use. Stop eating with your fingers and talking with your mouth full. Elevate your table manners.

Articulate your thoughts. Speak up, but not just to hear yourself talk. And make sure you actually have the knowledge the role requires in your tool box. If you donโ€™t, then donโ€™t expect to be spoon-fed.

Upgrade your skills. Thereโ€™s wisdom to โ€œpaying your duesโ€ and experience doesnโ€™t happen overnight. Assess your industry, your colleagues, and yourself โ€“ objectively โ€“ and make sure that what youโ€™ve got to offer is top shelf, belongs at the table, and is clearly made known to higher ups.

2. Pull Up Your Big Girl Pants

If you want to get a seat at the table, pull up your big girl pants and take it. No oneโ€™s going to lift you up to get into the seat where you belong. Likewise, you have to belong. That means conducting yourself like a leader and contributing to the greater good and goals of the company. Consistently. And humbly.

It also means welcoming other ideas and opposition from colleagues and being able to work collaboratively on solutions that still hold true to you and who you are, but that may not always be your bright idea.

The more you expect to be rewarded for what may just be mediocre performance, and the more you shun ideas because they didnโ€™t come from you, the less your chances of stepping up to a better seat in the house.

Related:ย Why You Should Start Seeing Your Mistakes As Mirrors

3. Pick Up Your Toys

โ€ฆand move on. If youโ€™ve come to the conclusion that no matter what you bring to the table, youโ€™ll never get a seat with the big boys, maybe you need another table to sit at.

If youโ€™re in an environment that practices, well, unfair practices, or that perceives thought leadership as stepping out of line, or that just isnโ€™t ready for all you have to offer, you may be kept at the kiddie table on purpose.

So why stay where youโ€™re not appreciated and most likely not wanted? Be at peace with the fact that youโ€™ve graduated, and theyโ€™re still in kindergarten. Pick up your toys and move on to a position thatโ€™s more at your level.

4. Bring Your Signature Dish

If your desire to have a seat at the table is purely for status or pay check purposes, then even if you get it, you wonโ€™t be happy or fulfilled. At least not for very long.

A smarter strategy is to figure out what makes you you. Spend some time thinking about you and your unique gifts. Whatโ€™s YOUR signature dish? What do you and only you have to offer? Why is what you have to offer complementary to the organizationโ€™s overall flavour combination?

Embrace who you are and shift your perspective to one where they need you on the menu more than you need to serve up your best on theirs.

Getting a seat at the table, where you belong

5. Make Sure Your Tableโ€™s Set

Yes, you want a seat at the table. Sure, youโ€™ve given it your all and then some. True, youโ€™ve shifted and climbed from one job to the next, but never quite have gotten priority seating.

If thatโ€™s the case, hereโ€™s a thought for you to consider: Maybe the reason you havenโ€™t yet gotten that seat at the table is because youโ€™re at the wrong table. And maybe youโ€™re at the wrong table because your table hasnโ€™t even been set yet. Whyโ€ฆ? Because youโ€™re the one whoโ€™s supposed to set it.

There comes a time when no other table but your own is the one at which you are meant to be seated. Stop wasting any more of your time and energy on being asked to sit elsewhere. Be the head of your own table, set it up the way you want, and invite whomever you believe deserves a place with you to share your vision and the fruits of your own teamโ€™s labours.

Related:ย How To Overcome Inferiority Complex And Shine Bright

If during this past year youโ€™ve found yourself โ€“ at home or at the office โ€“ sitting again among the toddlers and teens, give some thought to any one of these five steps and make a plan to make sure your next yearโ€™s gatherings have you seated at the table you really want (and deserve) to be.

P.S. If youโ€™re ready to move on up and claim your spot at the table, my Cube to Corner Office Career Coaching may be just what youโ€™re craving!

Want to know more about getting a seat at the table? Check this video out below!

Writing is healing and therapy for me and others I coach. Check out my latest books and give yourself a break with the read:ย https://madnesstomagic.com/books/


Written By Paolina Milana
Originally Appeared On Madness To Magic

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