Stages of grief – especially true for victims of psychopathic relationships
Did you break up with a psychopath? Feeling lost and choked up? Grieving badly?
Well, bereavement is inevitable when the relationship with the psychopath has come to an end. However, the stages of grief are different from what you experience after separation from a loving partner or death of your loved ones. Although you are out of hell, getting over that emotional roller-coaster and healing your scars is something hard – but not impossible.
Here are 8 Stages of Grief from a Psychopathic Relationship
1. Total Devastation
After the end of a relationship with the psychopath, you feel numb, worse, inferior, empty and sink into shock that it can really happen to you. It is common to keep thinking about him 24/7 and victimize yourself, which prevents you to participate in activities that excited you earlier. You are unable to deal with the agonizing situation that triggers stress, anxiety, and depression as also mentioned in the Handbook of Trait Narcissism
Watch the video to spot the difference between Narcissist, Psychopath, or Sociopath
You keep contemplating what has happened only to get back to square one. On one hand, you desperately want to reunite with him thinking it’s all your fault. That deteriorates your self-esteem and confidence so much that you no longer want to live. You begin to lose the sense of self, unable to see the brighter side of life. This stage of utter devastation leaves you mentally drained out, which also takes a toll on your health.
You might have suspected their behaviors and sexual infidelity several times. But, you may have lied to yourself until the fake mask of the psychopath fell off. Now to maintain your sanity, you deny anger, feelings of sorrow, and suppress your emotional pain. In an attempt to prove them that you are happy after ending the relationship – you party hard, laugh out loud, make new friends, catch up with old ones, think irrational, have mindless sex, waste money, hurt at the same time and become frustrated and aggressive.
No matter how hard you try to justify your hard mind, you experience isolation. You find no person who can understand your pain because your friends and parents were always against your psychopathic relationship, which adds to your isolation and pain. This bereavement is different from what you experience after losing your near and dear ones. You tend to lock yourself in your room and stay aloof as the sense of trust is totally crushed.
3. Learning & Self-doubt
Although your mind doesn’t feel like a prison anymore, you still have scars to heal. As time passes, you want to learn more about psychopathy, well aware of the fact that nothing can change the past. You study more about narcissism to settle thoughts or to figure out what, how, and why things went wrong. Soon you learn about characteristics and dangerous signs of psychopathic relationships and end up blaming yourself for poor judgment and unwise decisions.
If you want to quickly identify a psychopath or manipulative people, read 15 Red Flags That You Are Dealing With Them
The more you educate yourself, the more you enter into self-doubt. Then keep wondering how can “I love you change” into “I hate you” in the blink of an eye. You find flaws in your behavior that might have changed his obsession with contempt. Self-doubt is self-sabotaging because the victim takes the entire responsibility for ruining the relationship. Because you always perceived the psychopath as “perfectionist”.
4. Understanding the Psychopath
Through self-education, you tend to overcome self-doubt and stop blaming yourself. This is one of the important stages of grief. You begin to understand the psychopath, which is an important step towards healing your broken heart and recovery. You dig deeper into the psychology of the psychopath and comprehend how their mind works. Eventually, everything makes sense to you – intense passion and admiration to sudden hatred, being controlled, criticism, blame game, emotional abuse and finally break up.