You can be single yet you can find happiness without being lonely.
It’s no surprise that the world is full of lonely people. As we’ve evolved from living in small rural communities in proximity to our extended families to living far away from anyone we really know, scattered from our families and relying on social media to connect, loneliness has become an epidemic.
We all seek the wonderful experience of sharing love and connection—it’s hard-wired in us. But the truth is, we’re not guaranteed to find that romantic love connection.
And even if we do, we have no guarantees that it will last. So, many people find themselves asking, “If I don’t find a partner with whom I can deeply connect, does that mean I have to live a lonely life? Does it mean I’ll never really experience the love and connection that gives life meaning?”
It doesn’t. I promise it doesn’t. But it does mean that we need to open ourselves to new ways to love and connect. Romantic relationships are not what life is all about. A meaningful alternative to this mindset is what I call beloved companionship.
Beloved companionship is nothing new. The popular TV show The Golden Girls pointed the way for us. In this show, four women lived together as friends. They laughed, cried, fought, learned, and supported one another in their highest good. They deeply understood one another. They loved one another, and they were not lonely.
Beloved companionship is not the same as being roommates—it’s a committed, nonsexual, deeply caring relationship.
How I found beloved companionship.
After my 30-year marriage ended, I dated for a few years, which was very discouraging. Most of the men I met in my age range were either not physically healthy, or they were needy, narcissistic, or boring.
Few were open to any personal or spiritual growth. When my best friend suggested that we live together because we were both lonely, I jumped at the chance.
For me, one of the main perks of close relationships is that they trigger everything that is unhealed, and this has certainly been true of our relationship. We are both strong and intense women, so of course we triggered each other all over the place.
Fortunately, we are both deeply desirous of learning, healing, and spiritual growth, so our friendship has offered both of us incredible healing and growth. We are very different women than we were when we started to share a home 16 years ago.
Together we have been able to manifest what neither of us could manifest alone. We now live on a beautiful 35-acre ranch with horses, dogs, and a cat. I have a beautiful art studio—I’m a painter and a potter in my spare time, and I love spending time regenerating through creativity.
We share a beautiful lake with the other residents in our homeowners’ association, and we spend a couple of hours each weekend kayaking and taking in the wonder of the Rockies.
I live near my grandchildren, so I get to see them often, and my granddaughter loves being on the ranch. All of this is a dream come true for me, as I’ve wanted to live on a ranch with horses since I was a child.