I used to think to find the right person would be this crazy, life-altering moment. Perhaps I would be walking down the street and bump into the love of my life. Or I would recognize a close male friend as this absolute pillar, and suddenly realize I was meant to be with him for the rest of my life.
It didn’t quite work out that way, but I think that has made me even more grateful.
See, what I’ve learned about finding the right person—and recognizing you’re finally with the right person —is that it’s all in the little things.
It’s the smiles, the laughter. It’s coming home after a long day and falling into a hug. It’s being mid-argument and realizing there’s no one in this world I’d rather fight with. It’s turning over in the middle of the night and seeing him sleeping next to me. It’s the little things.
Here are the (little) signs you’re finally with the right person:
1. You’re always making two of something unconsciously.
Two slices of toast for breakfast, two eggs in the frying pan. Even when you aren’t trying, this person is your unconscious priority. You have carved a space for him/her in your life and your heart without thinking.
2. He or she is the first person you think about when something happens.
Whether it’s good or bad, he/she is the first person that jumps into your mind when you have news. You can’t help but want to share about the big and little things, confide in your deepest secrets. And when it comes to the day-to-day, this is the person you’ve opened up to.
3. You think about your plans in terms of what you’re doing together.
Although you’ll always be your own person with your own life and plans, when you’re asked about what you’re doing over the weekend, you are quick to think about that in terms of what the both of you are doing. Without trying, your thoughts are ‘we’ rather than ‘I.’
4. You ask his/her opinion before saying ‘yes’ to something.
You value this person’s opinion, so much so, that you want his/her input before you jump into a new opportunity or commitment. Although you don’t let him/her dictate your choices and opinions, you prioritize his/her perspective because it matters to you.
5. His/her smile brings a smile to your face without trying.
You could be mid-sentence, mid-bite, mid-argument, and a smile on this person’s face brings a warmth you just can’t explain. You love him/her. It’s as simple as that.
6. You’d rather fight with that person than be with anyone else.
You could have heated moments, slamming doors and yelling at the top of your lungs, but you know there’s no one else you’d rather fight with. When it comes to the messiness and hard parts of this life, you’d go through hell and back with this person. No matter what, you’ll choose to stay.
7. You feel both comfortable and excited in your relationship.
There’s a level to comfort and familiarity with this person that you just can’t explain. You feel like you can truly be yourself and be safe, and yet, there’s also this passion and excitement that continually reminds you why you fell in love in the first place.
8. You find him/her annoying, yet those are some of the things you love.
You hate the way he leaves his socks on the floor instead of putting them in the hamper, or how she always leaves her breakfast bowl in the sink instead of washing it and putting it on the rack. These small things drive you crazy! And yet, you wouldn’t want to be driven crazy by anyone else.
9. You’re not scared of the future anymore.
You used to be afraid of the future, used to be afraid of what would come next or where you’d go. But now, with this person by your side, you know that life is scary and big and largely unknown—but you’re not alone.