Death is usually associated with darkness, absence, and expiration. Maybe we did not consider ego when we thought of death. The death of one’s ego is a transformative, awe-inspiring, life-enhancing, and spiritual experience. When your ego is dissolving, you are well on the way to a spiritual and life-changing transformation.
Not many are aware that on many occasions we are controlled by ego. Whereas actualizing oneself by eradicating the harsh grasp of ego is quite often a difficult task for many.
Is your ego holding you back in life?
What is Ego?
Every individual has a moral component in them which essentially monitors and regulates their behavior.
The concept of Ego was first introduced by psychologist Sigmund Freud. He divided everyone’s mental life into three agencies – the Id, the Ego, and the Superego. The Ego is that part of the individual which governs moral judgments.
Ego instigates a person to view the world through the lens of duality and bifurcates every reality into extremely contrasting concepts like bad/good, hate/love, beginning/end. The ego provides a person the agency to judge every situation and make the proper decisions to take. It can be described as the inner narrator as it voices to us what is wrong and what is right.
Often the ego’s black and white view of the world gets an individual to undergo inner conflicts. Not everything in this world can be viewed in extremely contrasting shades. This absolutely idealistic view of reality influences an individual to create differences among people as greater and lesser, better and worse, and more such scathing mindsets. The ego makes us view the world in distinctions that subdue humane feelings in us. These breeds resentments, grudges, and bitterness among fellow-human beings.
Related: The 7 Stages Of Ego Death
Ego focuses on the self, the “I” and the “Me”.
“I have a big house.”
“You are better than me.”
“I am confident in myself.”
We are addressing the ego here. When we are too focused on the ego and its need for gratification we become self-centered, losing synchronization with nature and the spiritual realm of our being.
The death of the ego is itself a very replenishing and enlightening journey. Actually, the ego does not literally die, in fact, all we do is transcends to a higher level by leaving the shackles of the ego and live a life free out of the control of it.
To some, the dissolving of the ego might be a very complicated and terrifying process as the ego will always abstain from returning to its natural form.
How would you know if your ego is dissolving?
Often we are not aware of our ego and the effect it has on us to keep us holding on to our negative and degrading thoughts of others and ourselves.
If your ego is dissolving, you will notice these 4 major signs in yourself:
1. Your judgments are increasingly being replaced by acceptance.
Ego views everything from an idealized or devalued lens. When we are governed by our ego, we tend to look at the world with overcritical eyes. We tend to divide everything into wrong and right, good and bad, acceptable, and unacceptable.
But, interestingly, when your ego will slowly disintegrate, you will find yourself being at peace with everything. You will not judge people, circumstances, things, ideas like you initially used to.
When you look at someone else and their shortcomings, you will not criticize or look down upon them, instead, you will be compassionate and considerate of them. You will realize that everyone is uniquely special in their own way and that extends down to their flaws. You will rather view individuals as beautiful poetry. You will be respectful, appreciative, and encouraging of other people.
You will start accepting everyone exactly as they are, no matter how imperfect.
2. You have an increased ability to empathize.
Empathy is the capacity of an individual to understand another person’s subjective experience by stepping outside one’s own mental frame of reference and jumping into the other person’s shoes.
If you are still within the confines of your ego, you will not have the ability to stand outside your mind box and step into someone else’s mental frame. This is only possible when you become more approving of other people as they authentically are.
And once you do so, you will be able to look at them with a non-judgemental and loving eye. You will be able to feel what they feel. This is the most prized virtue a human being can possess. To exercise your ability to empathize with others, it’s absolutely necessary for you to look beyond your ‘self’.
3. You stop reacting defensively.
When our sense of self is too strong, we tend to react rather than respond to other people’s actions.
You have successfully moved beyond the grasp of your ego when you do not need to react to other people’s actions or words anymore because you are no longer in search of the right. You will find yourself more composed while dealing with others even if your opinions, ideas, and attitudes differ from them.
You will be less likely to engage in arguments and even if you do, you will not defensively react with bitterness, anger or frustration.
The mind is put to silence when the ego is gradually eradicating itself.
4. You will have an increased sense of satisfaction with who you are.
Every one of us is striving to achieve success, fame, reputation, and money. These are all means to feed the ego. The ego needs to tell itself “I have achieved so much. I am rich and well to do. I have everything that a person needs to survive.”
The more you acquire, be it materialistically or otherwise, the more is your ego satisfied. When your ego is slowly falling apart, you will stop worrying about your identity. You will view your life from a third person’s point of view; like a fleeting string of experience to behold as an outsider. You will no longer find any requirement to own your life and claim it to be ‘yours’.
Related: Ego, Enlightenment And Pain
Consider this saying by Kilroy J. Oldster in Dead Toad Scrolls,
“The ego is the culmination of our preferences and dislikes. Our ego represents the firm edges of how we perceive ourselves. An ego death involves a merciless destruction of the autobiographical memory system that sustains a person’s collective of bodily and mental images. In order to provoke an ego death, one might choose to pare down their sense of self to a bare skeleton divested of all flesh and blood. It might even be useful to visualize a person’s own burial and then imagine a rebirth. A person who undergoes an ego-death might experience a transformation in their life that duplicates a reincarnation.”