How can you know for sure that you are finally over that ex when life returns to normal after a breakup? Here are 5 signs you are getting over your ex.
I know that break ups are horrible and that the recovery period seems endless but keep a look out for signs that you are getting over your ex, finally, and that you will be able to move on!
When you are deep into the pain of the mourning period, it’s hard to feel hopeful that you will ever get past this. As a result, we often miss the signs that we are getting better and this can hold us back from moving forward.
Knowing the signs that you are getting over your ex is a key to moving forward and finding the love that you seek!
5 Encouraging Signs You Are Getting Over Your Ex
1. You are feeling hopeful.
Remember when you first broke up? When the world seemed like a horrible place and when you had no hope that anything would ever be ok again?
Are you still feeling this way or are there perhaps little glimmers of hope that the future holds some possibilities and that you will be ok?
When we have lived with feelings of hopelessness for a long time, it’s hard to notice when those little moments appear. We either don’t see them or ignore them, not believing what they signify.
Well, I can tell you that those little moments of hopefulness should not be ignored because they are definitely a sign that you are getting over your ex!
What kind of little signs am I talking about? A feeling of excitement (no matter how small) about some plans you have made with friends. A promotion at work. The muscle that you are building at the gym. That you can look at other men/women and not be completely disgusted.
You will get over your break up, that I can promise you. Noticing little moments of hope are a sign that you are well on your way to doing so.
2. You no longer stalk them on social media.
Be honest. When you first broke up with your person, did you spend an inordinate amount of time stalking them on social media?
Did you check their Insta-stories and their TikTok likes regularly throughout the day? Did you try to piece together what their lives looked like without you? Did you look for signs that they weren’t happy after the break up?
Unfortunately, many people stalk their exes on social media. In the old days, a break up was a break up. Keeping tabs on your ex was something that required a lot of energy, something that you don’t need today. Access to your ex is right there at your fingertips!
So, ask yourself – are you spending less time than you used to looking at them on social media? Do you find yourself drawn to things that used to interest you, like cute puppy videos?
If the answer to this question is yes, that you don’t have as much interest in what they are doing and who they are doing it with, then it is definitely an encouraging sign that you are getting over your ex and that you are moving forward.
Related: The 5 Stages of Relationships
3. You have clarity about what happened.
When we first go through a break up we are so confused about what happened. We often blame ourselves or look outside the relationship to see what might have led to the break up.
This confusion can lead to us reading books about break ups, seeing a therapist to discover what is wrong with us, going down the internet rabbit hole about why break ups occur and what to do to get your ex back.
I know that, when my ex left me, I was devastated. I blamed it on the girl he left me for and I hated her. And him. I spent days and months trying to figure out what had happened, blaming myself for everything.
What I learned, over time and with some help, was that the break up happened for a number of reasons.
We had been unhappy for a long time and finding our way back to each other seemed like a lot of work. I didn’t drink and he did and that got in the way of us communicating with each other. He was very social and I was more of a homebody. Mostly, the reason we were still together was purely financial. And that woman he fell in love with was ultimately the right girl for him.
This process of acceptance wasn’t easy. I had to work hard at it and, after a 20 year relationship, it took some time. But I did get there. I knew that it wasn’t all my fault – that relationship issues always involve two people. That staying together for the wrong reasons wasn’t good. That our different social interests got in the way of us being happy.
No longer blaming myself and living with anger at him allowed me to move forward to find the life and the love that I desired!
4. You don’t talk about the break up all the time.
I don’t know why but, when we go through a break up, processing and reprocessing it is SO important to us! Something about hashing and rehashing things with our friends is the best therapy.
And it is good therapy to talk about what happened. We often have so many questions that we have unanswered, so many emotions that we can’t control. And talking about those things instead of running them around and around in our head is very cathartic.
So, one of the encouraging signs that you are getting over your ex is that you no longer feel the need to process the break up with your friends/coworkers/therapist. That you have found peace with what happened and that you no longer need to talk about it.
Have you noticed that you do spend less time talking to people about what happened? Perhaps you still have some thoughts in your head but they aren’t as destructive and you don’t feel like you need to share them to manage them? Or perhaps you have moved on completely and talking about them is boring.
There are far better things to talk about then some loser who let fabulous you go!
Related: 16 Signs Of A Healthy Relationship
5. You are looking around.
When we first break up, we have no interest in getting involved with someone else.
Of course, the inclination to go hook up with someone might be there, as a bandaid, but the idea of getting into a relationship is unappealing! So we keep our head down and deal with the break up.
Have you recently found that you have picked your head up again and looking around? Does the sight of potential suitors not disgust you like it might have in the past? Are you poking around on Hinge, wondering who is out there?
It’s hard to get back on the dating wagon after a bad break up but considering doing so is a very hopeful sign and it is an excellent step towards moving on and finding the love that you seek!
Knowing the signs that you are getting over your ex is very important as far as moving forward with your life.
Many of us don’t notice these signs and, as a result, stay mired in the pain of the break up, having gotten used to like an old comfy sweater.
But it’s important to recognize when it’s time to move on. Are you feeling somewhat hopeful about the future? Do you find that you don’t need to know about them, to think or talk about them? Have you made peace with what happened and are you ready to move on?
If you answer yes to any or all of these questions, you are getting past the mourning phase of your break up and ready to move forward to get the life and the love that you seek!
Good luck! You can do this!
You’ve moved on if you experience any of the things on this list. You’ve changed course to seek a new and more fruitful life. Tell us about your progress when it comes to getting over your ex.
Written by Mitzi Bockmann
Originally appeared on LetYourDreamsBegin.com